نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[vhbhajy]

با سلام،
تنها فرصت شد تا نگاه اجمالی به متن شما داشته باشم.

اشتباهات گرامری فراوان باعث مبهم شدن جملات شده. به عنوان نمونه:
this relation makes students study as well as intelligent learners.
The first and for a most reason that teachers at the school are as the same as the parent.
و نمونه های فراوان دیگه.


این دلیل که میگی معلم مانند والدین هست رو کجا ساپورت کردی؟؟؟؟ حالا این دلیل رو کجا ربط دادی به صورت سوال؟؟ یعنی کجا نشون میدی دانش آموزان بیشتر از معلم تاثیر میپذیرند تا دوستانشون؟؟؟
اینکه مدرسه خانه دوم هستش چه ربطی به صورت سوال داره؟؟
این که معلم ها سعی می کنند تا تجربشون برای دانش آموزان استفاده کنند چه ربطی داره به کل بحث؟؟؟؟
اینکه در مثالتون شما نفر اول شدید خب چه کمکی به روشن شدن بحث میکنه؟؟؟
صورت سوال در مورد تاثیرات بد دوستان از جمله سیگار، اعتیاد ... نیست!!!!

به سختی میشه جمله ای پیدا کرد که به صورت سوال ربط داشته باشه!!!!



سعی کنید از همون ساختار 5 یا 4 پاراگرافه استفاده کنید. حتما اگر نمره بالا می خوایید مشکل گرامری خودتون رو برطرف کنید. سعی کنید زمان بیشتری برای خواندن نمونه های نمره بالا قرار بدید.

با آرزوی موفقیت!!!

[Katayoont]

سلام خسته نباشید من باتوجه به توصیه هاتون سعی کردم ایده هامو بهتر بنویسم ، ممنون میشم نظرتونو بگید.

technology make the world a better place to live or not?
Presently, when asked about influence of technology on making a world to better place to live, myriads of people would mention that it causes they have higher performance in their life. On the other hand, others believe that advantages of technology cannot surpass in its disadvantages. As far as, I am concerned, I want to investigate both these views and then conclude from them.
Multitude of people claim that progress of technology has direct effect on improving education process. Many devices like computer and multimedia provide easily access to a wealth of resources. As a case in point is search engine motors help to researchers that familiar to others points of view and articles. In this way, they have better opportunity to doing valuable research. Additionally, the Internet provides up-to-date news in each topics for their users. So, students and teachers can aware of newest material in their field.
Besides education, use of technologies can save a significant amount of time for their users. In past, farmers should harvest their crops by hand, but now they do their tasks in less time with agricultural machines and can have more leisure time. Furthermore, many businesses need to monthly calculate their account which needed more time to do precisely. Nowadays, engineering calculators or basic computers can solve this problem in minimum time.
Others would mention that developed technology cause to harm environment. It harm nature, for instance people more and more than past are cutting down forest, for provides their companies and vehicles fuel or developing new city in such land which are created by progressing in technology. It cause that washing away soil and eventually flooding. In addition, this process leads to extinction of many species. One of the example is extinction of Iranian tiger because of destroying its habitat.
Pollution is another disadvantage of technology. With the recent improvement of technology, there are many vehicles like cars, buses, subways and motorcycles. All these devices consume fuel and release their toxic waste gases in the environment which cause having unhealthy air and global warming. Additionally, the number of companies and factories are increasing, they release their trash in water which is one of the reasons of water pollution.
All in all, if all the factors are contemplated, it is easy to reach a conclusion that if people try their best to use technologies to increase their relief and minimize their harm to the earth, they can improve in their life and keep their green planet.

[heidary4444]

با سلام وعرض دوستان خسته نباشید ممنونم نظر بدید که تونستم خواسته هارو براورده کنم یا نه؟

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news resources.

In this advanced era, people are dealing with vast particular subjects in order to refresh and improve their knowledge. Despite the fact some people believe that reading much variety of information sources makes people update, some other think it is just waste of time. I personally concur with the former group's idea. I will explicate my point of view thought the following paragraphs.
One of the reasons that immediately coming to mind at first some source of information have discussed totality and have a general knowledge. There are many useful causes which have represented information without any reasons and details and we can encounter on the internet, newspapers and so on. As a representative example, last week I went library as studying and researching after that I found a book on my major which had a litter material about my Research project. Although I did not find a book in order to get relevant knowledge, at the end I decided to an enquiry on the internet. As a result, I received my favorite date by many reasons and details. Moreover, general themes of any news are useful but for many question and problems or some subject that you are interested in, we need more details and valuable knowledge. Hence, by checking many particular subjects besides the general knowledge, we can get lots of pieces of information and details.
Furthermore, some of the sources of the information are archaic and not confidential. In this cause, some of the science people such as professors, instructors, and other learners should pay attention to the date of information and source. Here is an example to illustrate this, in my university student should write an article about the methods of renews energy and when we try to look for information about this, we face lots of antiquated knowledge after that by studying others scientific 's article we can receive the lastest information. Needless to say, studying update and new information have a positive effect rather than primitive knowledge. In addition, every day we have the big challenge of technology, science and some infection diseases and so on and the people should have a variety of modern information to more understand and they can attenuate problems.
To make it brief by the above reasons, getting information from the variety sources have many benefits but some origin have a general knowledge and some origin does not have an update information. As a result, by studying many resources in the different way we can find the lastest knowledge.

[vhbhajy]

سلام خسته نباشید من باتوجه به توصیه هاتون سعی کردم ایده هامو بهتر بنویسم ، ممنون میشم نظرتونو بگید.

technology make the world a better place to live or not?
Presently, when asked about influence of technology on making a world to better place to live, myriads of people would mention that it causes they have higher performance in their life. On the other hand, others believe that advantages of technology cannot surpass in its disadvantages. As far as, I am concerned, I want to investigate both these views and then conclude from them.
Multitude of people claim that progress of technology has direct effect on improving education process. Many devices like computer and multimedia provide easily access to a wealth of resources. As a case in point is search engine motors help to researchers that familiar to others points of view and articles. In this way, they have better opportunity to doing valuable research. Additionally, the Internet provides up-to-date news in each topics for their users. So, students and teachers can aware of newest material in their field.
Besides education, use of technologies can save a significant amount of time for their users. In past, farmers should harvest their crops by hand, but now they do their tasks in less time with agricultural machines and can have more leisure time. Furthermore, many businesses need to monthly calculate their account which needed more time to do precisely. Nowadays, engineering calculators or basic computers can solve this problem in minimum time.
Others would mention that developed technology cause to harm environment. It harm nature, for instance people more and more than past are cutting down forest, for provides their companies and vehicles fuel or developing new city in such land which are created by progressing in technology. It cause that washing away soil and eventually flooding. In addition, this process leads to extinction of many species. One of the example is extinction of Iranian tiger because of destroying its habitat.
Pollution is another disadvantage of technology. With the recent improvement of technology, there are many vehicles like cars, buses, subways and motorcycles. All these devices consume fuel and release their toxic waste gases in the environment which cause having unhealthy air and global warming. Additionally, the number of companies and factories are increasing, they release their trash in water which is one of the reasons of water pollution.
All in all, if all the factors are contemplated, it is easy to reach a conclusion that if people try their best to use technologies to increase their relief and minimize their harm to the earth, they can improve in their life and keep their green planet.

سلام،

متن نسبت به قبلی کمی بهتر شده. دلیل های بهتری هم آورده بودید. ولی .......................

هنوزم متن شما از نظر گرامری جای کار زیادی داره. مشکل گرامری باعث ابهام در جملات شده. باید روی پرورش ساپورت ها بیشتر کار کنید. متن انسجام لازم رو نداره.
دلیل چهارم شما با دلیل سوم هم پوشانی داره.

در مقدمه کاملا شفاف بگو موافق هستی یا مخالف؟؟؟؟؟
در نتیجه گیری می تونی مثلا با خلاصه کردن دلایلت علت موافق بودنت یا مخالف بودنت رو نشنو بدی ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟


لطفا کامنت های بقیه دوستان رو حتما مطالعه کن نکات و راهنمایی های اونها میتونه باعث پیشرفت شما بشه!!!!

در اولین گام: سعی کن مشکل گرامری خودت رو حل کنی
دوم: نمونه های امتیاز داده شده آفشیال گاید رو بخون و دقیقا درک کن چرا 5 امتیازی 5 گرفته و 4 امتیازی 4 و ......... دقیقا لازمه بدونی چی قرار بنویسی و چی قرار نیست بنویسی
سوم: در این مرحله سعی کن ساختارت رو درست کنی مثلا فعلا 5 پارگرافه با سه دلیل مثبت بنویسی بعدها خواستی تغییرش بده.
چهارم: باید با خوندن نمونه های نمره بالا علاوه بر آشنایی با ایده های جدید حتما حتما جملات جدید هم یاد بگیری. 185 نمونه جملات خوبی داره
پنجم: حتما باید به لکچرها انگلیسی بیشتر گوش بدید + بیشتر بخونید تا ذهنتون در جهت درست قرار بگیره. و جملات شما رنگ فارسی نداشته باشه

تنها تونستم بخشی از مشکلات گرامری شما رو بررسی کنم امیدوارم نکات ذکر شده مفید واقع بشن.


با آرزوی موفقیت برای شما!!!!

[vhbhajy]

با سلام وعرض دوستان خسته نباشید ممنونم نظر بدید که تونستم خواسته هارو براورده کنم یا نه؟

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news resources.

In this advanced era, people are dealing with vast particular subjects in order to refresh and improve their knowledge. Despite the fact some people believe that reading much variety of information sources makes people update, some other think it is just waste of time. I personally concur with the former group's idea. I will explicate my point of view thought the following paragraphs.
One of the reasons that immediately coming to mind at first some source of information have discussed totality and have a general knowledge. There are many useful causes which have represented information without any reasons and details and we can encounter on the internet, newspapers and so on. As a representative example, last week I went library as studying and researching after that I found a book on my major which had a litter material about my Research project. Although I did not find a book in order to get relevant knowledge, at the end I decided to an enquiry on the internet. As a result, I received my favorite date by many reasons and details. Moreover, general themes of any news are useful but for many question and problems or some subject that you are interested in, we need more details and valuable knowledge. Hence, by checking many particular subjects besides the general knowledge, we can get lots of pieces of information and details.
Furthermore, some of the sources of the information are archaic and not confidential. In this cause, some of the science people such as professors, instructors, and other learners should pay attention to the date of information and source. Here is an example to illustrate this, in my university student should write an article about the methods of renews energy and when we try to look for information about this, we face lots of antiquated knowledge after that by studying others scientific 's article we can receive the lastest information. Needless to say, studying update and new information have a positive effect rather than primitive knowledge. In addition, every day we have the big challenge of technology, science and some infection diseases and so on and the people should have a variety of modern information to more understand and they can attenuate problems.
To make it brief by the above reasons, getting information from the variety sources have many benefits but some origin have a general knowledge and some origin does not have an update information. As a result, by studying many resources in the different way we can find the lastest knowledge.

سلام،

تمامی علائم نشون میداد که صورت سوال رو اشتباه متوجه شدید. لطفا صورت سوال رو یکبار دیگه با دقت بخونید. بحث سر different news resources منابع مختلف خبری هستش.
توی نت جست و جو کنید برای این سوال کلی نمونه خوب نوشته شده که میتونه بهتون ایده بده و دقیقا متوجه بشید مشکل کجا بوده.

لطفا قبل از ادامه دادن به نوشتن مشکلات گرامری خودتون رو یکبار برای همیشه حل کنید!!!

با آرزوی موفقیت!

[peyman1390]

با عرض سلام خدمت دوستان. خیلی ممنون وقت میزارید و زحمت تصحیح و ارایه نظر رو قبول میکنید. من برای اولین بار اینجا متنمو میزارم , ممنون میشم از راهنمایی های شما استفاده کنم.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past.

All parents across the world want to help their children's education since they know that in the modern world, the education can bring them prosperity and success. Therefore, they try to be more involved in their children's education starting from elementary school until their children graduate from the university. Here are my reasons which will be elaborated in the next
paragraphs

Firstly, nowadays parents are more educated than before which cause the major difference. In the past the parents were uneducated or at some cases, they studied just until the high school level. Now we see, most of the parents have graduate degrees and they knows all about education at all levels of their children's education. Most of them, understand how to solve the basic mathematic questions, answering the physic problem or they much know about the literature. Therefore, since they know the lessons their children's are learning, they sometimes may make tests or take exams to know how much their children's have understood the class material. For example, my father was the teacher of Arabic language in the high school. Each time that I had an Arabic language exam when I was in high school, he took the exam before the school to be certain I know the lessons and sometimes he clarified me some points I could not understand well.

Furthermore, the parents can give advice to their children since they own more social experience than before. They all know that the college their children attend is very important for children's future. Thus, they try to encourage their children to pick the high-ranked college since they provide more opportunities for them. In addition, the university they graduate can be important in a job interview and graduation from a top university will facilitate their way to catch the job. On the other hand, since most of the students attend the college with their parent's financial support, the parents can give advice to them to pick the university appropriate to the financial condition of the family. Furthermore, choosing the right program to attend is
another important issue for the children. In this case, parents can give the advice to choose the major that now has a better job opportunity while considering their children's interest

To put in a nutshell, the parents now are more involved in their children's educational process since they know more about education than before. The present parents can easily recognize
the latent potential their sons or daughters have and can help them to use their potential in the future. The father who sees his son is very talent in drawing the houses can give advice to him to choose the Architecture major in high-ranked university.

[vhbhajy]

سلام،

تنها فرصت شد تا بخشی از متن شما رو از نظر گرامری بررسی کنم. دلایل و ساپورت ها نسبتا خوب بودن ولی مشکل گرامری باعث ابهام در جملات شده. امیدوارم نکات ذکر شده مفید واقع بشن.

با آرزوی موفقیت!!!

[Mehran1986]

سلام دوستان،
خوشحال میشم نطرتون را در مورد رایتینگ زیر بدونم. تشکر.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would he more satisfying.
Life is challenging. In order to cope with different vicissitudes in the life, which can make a bad condition for us, we need to choose an appropriate job. If the job that we do not like it, we will not completely do it in the best way. Although selecting a suitable occupation is so imperative, in my opinion, the people should utilize their opportunities easily. The bases of my views are financial, personal and professional.
Financially, today, because of the inappropriate economical condition, which makes the people living circumstance so hard, there are not jobs sufficiently available in the society. Statistics have shown that because of the recession in all around the world, the accessibility to jobs have been significantly reduced. Similarly, in this condition, the bribery has been increased noticeably, and the nepotism will be available in the most of the governmental organizations. Therefore, if a person who is so poor and living far from the city, he or she cannot find job possibly. On the other hand, these days the job is like a treasure, if we find one, we can preserve it.
From a personal perspective, when we find a job, even if we are not satisfied about it, we should simply start our work elementary. By using this method, the people can achieve more experiences in their jobs, and then improve their situation considerably. An engineer, for instance, who graduate from university, which he does not have an enough information, he or should need to gain variety sciences and techniques. When he or she gather a lot of information, he or she can progress in his career. Consequently, he or she can obtain everything that likes to have as an engineer.
Professionally, most of the successful managers who thrived in their jobs, they begin with a simple job. More satisfaction jobs are for the bosses, but even if they are so profitable, they learn different skills from the a secure job. Most of the artisans who are impressively transplanting the border of the science and technology, they have been dealing with numerous workers, working in the hard situations, and keep learning from their counterparts.
In conclusion, with all these reasons that taken into account, the people have to be satisfied with a job which they know that will be paid nominally. If the economical conditions deteriorate, they will not be so penury. Because the information that they gathered from a job, they individually improve in that work and vigorously strong in their field of expertise.

[vhbhajy]

سلام دوستان،
خوشحال میشم نطرتون را در مورد رایتینگ زیر بدونم. تشکر.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would he more satisfying.
Life is challenging. In order to cope with different vicissitudes in the life, which can make a bad condition for us, we need to choose an appropriate job. If the job that we do not like it, we will not completely do it in the best way. Although selecting a suitable occupation is so imperative, in my opinion, the people should utilize their opportunities easily. The bases of my views are financial, personal and professional.
Financially, today, because of the inappropriate economical condition, which makes the people living circumstance so hard, there are not jobs sufficiently available in the society. Statistics have shown that because of the recession in all around the world, the accessibility to jobs have been significantly reduced. Similarly, in this condition, the bribery has been increased noticeably, and the nepotism will be available in the most of the governmental organizations. Therefore, if a person who is so poor and living far from the city, he or she cannot find job possibly. On the other hand, these days the job is like a treasure, if we find one, we can preserve it.
From a personal perspective, when we find a job, even if we are not satisfied about it, we should simply start our work elementary. By using this method, the people can achieve more experiences in their jobs, and then improve their situation considerably. An engineer, for instance, who graduate from university, which he does not have an enough information, he or should need to gain variety sciences and techniques. When he or she gather a lot of information, he or she can progress in his career. Consequently, he or she can obtain everything that likes to have as an engineer.
Professionally, most of the successful managers who thrived in their jobs, they begin with a simple job. More satisfaction jobs are for the bosses, but even if they are so profitable, they learn different skills from the a secure job. Most of the artisans who are impressively transplanting the border of the science and technology, they have been dealing with numerous workers, working in the hard situations, and keep learning from their counterparts.
In conclusion, with all these reasons that taken into account, the people have to be satisfied with a job which they know that will be paid nominally. If the economical conditions deteriorate, they will not be so penury. Because the information that they gathered from a job, they individually improve in that work and vigorously strong in their field of expertise.

سلام،

فرصت شد تا فقط بخشی از مقاله شما رو بررسی کنم. امیدوارم مفید واقع بشه

با آرزوی نمره بالا برای شما!!!

[Katayoont]

سلام و خسته نباشید خدمت دوستان عزیز ، با توجه به توصیه هاتون سعی کردم چندتا متن رو بخونم بعد متن خودم رو بنویسم خواستم ببینم تاثیری رو نوشتنم داشته یا نه ؟ ممنون میشم راهنماییم کنید.

?People more benefit from traveling to their own country than from travelling to foreign countries.
Travelling can give people many opportunity like expanding their outlook, amplifying their experience, and making new friends, but there is ongoing debates about traveling to own country or foreign countries. As far as, I am concerned, although travelling to my country is comfortable and economical, I adopt travel to abroad in light of the following reasons.
First, going to other countries leads to people see many scenes which are not in their own country. As a case in point is European people who do not have any desert in their country, they can travel to Asia or Africa to see desert land. Furthermore, there are many historical building all over the world like pyramid of Egypt or huge wall of Chine, obviously, seeing those is amazing.
Second, when people travel to abroad obtain refreshing ideas and novel ones. There are various kind of customs and foods in the world, so people can familiar to them and do their best in their own life. As a stunning example is an Italian cook, when travels to the China, can learn about different methods to preparing rice and in this way, expands his/her knowledge about his jobs. In addition, one imperative things in each country is their language. Passengers can familiar with new languages when they communicate among local people.
Third, one of the advantage of travelling to abroad is economic benefits. When travelers see a thing is unknown in their country, they can trade and develop their own business. In this case, people of this ilk can swell their wealth with importing that to their country. For instance, a man can become affluent by importing pills of dish washer to my country.
All in all, if all the factors are contemplated, it is easy to reach a conclusion that although traveling to own country is more comfortable and do not require a lot of money, going to abroad carries more weight in people’s life because they not only familiar to many new places and obtain many experience, but also would change their economic situation.