نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[hamid_reza_]

حقیقتا ممنون میشم نظرتونو داشته باشم


TPO7
Do you agree or disagree,
It is more important for the students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts,

To agree or disagree with the statement that, ideas and concepts have more value for the students than facts, is a matter of scrutinizing their importance in the process of learning. Different people have diverse perspectives toward such matters, who find it legitimate persist that introducing ideas and concepts is the first and the most important step in learning process, while others maintain the opposite view and assert that knowing facts and examples matures one`s learnings. If one considers the following reasons, he or she would side with former side, inasmuch as I concern carries more weight, because ideas and concept can not only widen one`s horizons but also grow learners more creative and imaginative.
My first and foremost reason for holding such position, lies behind the primary goal of learning systems, which is educating creative students with an open mind for new ideas and putting ideas and knowledge in their everyday lives. The educational systems must not just disseminate the ability of reading, writing and repeating the old fashioned science, such students could not be productive for their society when they are introduced to job market, because their minds are somehow limited just to what they have told, as a matter of fact they cannot generalize the scientific rules into novel forms. such goals of a learning program can be met just by familiarizing the learners with rules and concepts, then letting the to find their real evidence and applications in life, in this way the concepts are extended, which the students will find really eye-opening.
Furthermore, when a learner approaches a problem by himself, the result will be significantly more permanent and the various aspects of the issue will be better examined, on the other hand, when all the needed stuff are given to a student, his or her mind will be limited to such information and one cannot mature the data, extend them and put them in action. It is worthy to say that, because of the aforementioned reason, in most industrial countries with pioneer educational system it is said to the teachers to let the students to think by themselves and share their ideas with the class about thought lessons. Based on my personal experience, the most valuable passed courses during my higher educations, were those that had a part of writing a paper or researching about the subject.
All in all, nobody can dispute the inevitable importance of growing smart, creative and innovative children for future of our nation and this goal might not met just by putting a little bit of the load on their own shoulders, but this may cause them some misleading and misunderstanding so the teachers have a very important mission in coordinating their immature minds to a high position.

[Souri_RS]

سلام
ممنون میشم رایتینگم رو بررسی کنید و ایرادات کار رو بهم بگین. من حدود دو هفته دیگه آزمون دارم. ممنون میشم اگه راهنماییم کنید چطور میتونم سطح نوشتنم رو تو این مدت بالا ببرم.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well

As I outlined earlier, please post your essay as an attachment. It would ease the examiner's work.
I applied some of the required amendments. I enclosed it in this post.
I strongly recommend that you not think in Persian prior to writing an essay. It should be significantly polished. I merely managed to show some major deficiencies existing in your essay.
Best,
Amir

[izadpanahi]

سلام دوستان من 6 روز دیگه تافل دارم به نظرتون با رایتینگ در این سطح امکان نمره ی 25 وجود داره؟
Writing 29: integrated
In the terms of whether the Edmontosaur migrated to the south in the winter, the reading and listening passage are contradictory to each other.

First of all, the reading passage makes the point that the Edmontosaur could not find enough food in the winter, because of the harsh weather condition; as a result, they must travel to south to find a sufficient supply for their foods. The listening passage, by contrast, suggests that the North Slope in the summer experienced 24 hours day light in that period resulting in vegetation abundance, when the winter came, these plants died and prepared an adequate food supply for Edmontosaur.

Additionally, the reading passage demonstrates that because the Edmontosaur lived in herds, they were able to migrate and coordinate their routs to the south. As opposed to the idea in the reading passage, the listening passage mentions that other animals such as one species of elk live in herds too; hence, they do not migrate. Some animals live in herds to protect themselves from predators.

Finally, the author claims that the Edmontosaurs could migrate as a result of their physical characteristics. They could move fast; consequently, they probably migrated from the North to the south in winter. However, the listening passage says that the Edmontosaur might be able to run fast but their children could not; consequently, they should stay in North during the winter.
Independent:
Education is of great importance to all societies, leading to develop a country with fast pace. Some people believe universities must spend more money on salaries for university professors; however, others believe this money can invest on the other vital issues such as developing a university for attracting students or doing other project. As far as i am concerned, universities must spend their money to develop their quality and invest on essential projects to improve their education quality.

First of all, universities should improve their quality as much as they can. For instance, laboratories, libraries, dorms or foods should have high quality and it is of great necessity in universities progression. By investing on laboratories, students are able to do their research with high tech equipment; as a result, the quality of education increases dramatically. Libraries play an important part in the quality of education. Students should access not only to enough resources such as books and journals, but also to a place, being suitable for study.

Moreover, the money can spend on vital project including, Master and PhD thesis or other project. Post graduation students can play excellent part in the universities education quality. Investing on post graduation thesis or research can lead a university to progress very fast and also affect the education quality. I will exemplify my point by a true story that happened to me. When i was study MSc, my university gave me a great deal of money to investigate the effects of laboratory equipment on student’s research. I did a research on this title and my paper was published in university journal. The university's authority members red my article; and prepared the equipment that i suggested; consequently, the university's ranking improve drastically.

To put in a nutshell, investment on these areas is much more essential for the quality of education, and to the best of my knowledge the benefits of these investment are far outweigh the benefits of increasing the salary of universities staff.

[alirrrrrr]

سلام و تشکر از همه دوستانی که زحمت تصحیح انشاها رو میکشن.
اگر یه لطفی کنین و انشای منو هم در حد زمانی که واستون مقدور هست تصحیح کنین کمک خیلی بزرگی کردین چرا که ایرادای کلیمو میخوام متوجه بشم. اگه یه نمره تخمینی و یا رنج نمره ای هم بگید خیلی ممنون میشم. چون من تقریبا 3 ماه دیگه میخوام امتحان بدم و 25 لازم دارم و چه نکته ای فکر میکنین(گرامر، کلمه، هردو؟، ساختار) رو باید بیشتر مانور بدم و بیشتر توی ذوق میزنه.
با تشکر

[Souri_RS]

سلام دوستان من 6 روز دیگه تافل دارم به نظرتون با رایتینگ در این سطح امکان نمره ی 25 وجود داره؟

I would like the essays to be posted in a separate attachment. Thanks.

سلام و تشکر از همه دوستانی که زحمت تصحیح انشاها رو میکشن.
اگر یه لطفی کنین و انشای منو هم در حد زمانی که واستون مقدور هست تصحیح کنین کمک خیلی بزرگی کردین چرا که ایرادای کلیمو میخوام متوجه بشم. اگه یه نمره تخمینی و یا رنج نمره ای هم بگید خیلی ممنون میشم. چون من تقریبا 3 ماه دیگه میخوام امتحان بدم و 25 لازم دارم و چه نکته ای فکر میکنین(گرامر، کلمه، هردو؟، ساختار) رو باید بیشتر مانور بدم و بیشتر توی ذوق میزنه.
با تشکر

Unfortunately, the used grammar, structure and vocabulary should be significantly restructured and rephrased to avoid ‘awkward English’. Please eliminate incorrect grammar and minimize ‘complicated language’.
Please see attached.
I am not in the position to give you a score, but it is still far from what you expect.
Bests,
Amir

[moj2013]

با سلام و خسته نباشید خدمت دوستان
در رابطه به مهارت رایتینگ چند تا مشکل اساسی داشتم خواستم دوستان بزرگوار راهنمایی کنن.
اول اینکه در شرایط امتحان نوشتن تعداد کلمات مناسب برام مقدور نیست و معمولاً بسط دادن موضوع کار سختی هست. (سرعت تایپ کردنم خوبه)
ثانیاً الان نمیدونم رایتینگهای من در چه سطحی هستن
در ضمن اگر عزیزان لطف کنن رایتینگ زیر که مربوط به TPO-2 هست رو تصحیح کنن خیلی خیلی ممنون میشم

.................................................. .................................................. ..................................................

Always telling truth is the most consideration in any relationship between people?

It is evident that we, human beings, by nature like to be triumph and in order to be successful, we all use a large number of things in our relationship with the other people. Some people are of the opinion that we have to be honest in any relationships and the other think otherwise. From my perspective, the key to being successful person in our lives, we have to be an honest person when we communicate with the other people. In this essay I would like to provide several reasons to corroborate my claim

First of all, when we are an honest person and tell truth in any relationship, we will be known as a reliable person. As a result, the other people can trust on us and always accept our statements and opinions and it will have some substantial advantages for us. For example, you suppose that we want to be a member of parliament, people would prefer to select us to be their representative in order to help them have a prosperous country. Therefore, telling truth will be very useful for us.

Moreover, sometimes, we can be dishonest and we are able to tell something fallacious in order to cajole somebody into doing something useful for us. In this situation, if we avoid telling untruth and try to be honest, we certainly solidify our personalities. Having a sound personality greatly help us to triumph and there are a myriad of merits

In addition, with a perfunctory glance at our children, we cannot disguise the fact that we do not want to have mendacious children. We are more inclined to have honest and reliable children. It seems to me that, one of the best ways to have artless children is that we have to teach them honesty in our word and deed. As a result, our children learn from us this positive point.

To put it in a nutshell, although telling truth in any relationship can be considered as one of the most difficult behaviors, there are a large number of virtues for us. I strongly believe that it will culminate in having such a sound and reliable personality that not only could adult rely on us but also our children learn to be honest person

[vahabr1987]

سلام دوستان عزیز، اگر میشه یه نگاه سریع هم به این بندازین، کامنت ها جنرال هم باشه کافیه.

.any suggestion will be highly appreciated fellas

[sadegh70]

ممنون میشم اگر اشکالاتم رو تصحیح کنید

If you were an employer which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.



Most of employers are willing to pay lower salaries. They believe that they should save more money to either expand their company or increase their revenue, while others maintain the opposite view and assert that employing professional workers would influence the chance of success of the company as a long-term effect. If one considers the following reasons would side with the latter view, because having experienced workers is the key to have a successful economic activity.
The main and foremost reason for holding this position, is that the workers are expected to perfectly do their jobs. Undoubtedly, inexperienced workers would cause some difficulties. This would become more and more important when the company is dealing with a sensitive matter like customers’ judgment. For example, the new product of Apple Company, iPhone 6 was a disaster for the company’s reputation because of some minor problems that only an experienced user would notices.
Furthermore, most of successful companies are proud of their professional human resources and state this as the major cause of being successful. In fact, there should be something to make a distinction between doing a job well and doing it perfect, and that is defiantly experience. By employing experienced workers, one can rely on their skills and concentrate on other aspects of the job. Otherwise, there is always this concern that something may go wrong and cause a difficulty.
Last but not least, using inexperienced workers because of economical purposes may even response in opposite way. Because a project may take say, ten workers to do, but if inexperienced workers are used it may take fifteen ironically, the company is losing more credit. That is because experience workers can do jobs quickly and also precisely.
All in all, employing experienced workers have definitely priority over saving some money. Thus employers should consider these reasons and try to use the most efficient and reliable workers. Although it may not seem economically feasible to hire workers with high salaries, the result would emerge in latter times. Everyone would agree that expending money for high salary workers is like an investment for future.

[ILU]

سلام ممنون میشم رایتینگ من رو تصحیح کنید. هر چند تمرین نداشتم و خیلی بیشتر از 30 دقیقه زمان برد ولی خوشحال میشم ایراداتش رو بگید.

با تشکر

[vahabr1987]

سلام ممنون میشم رایتینگ من رو تصحیح کنید. هر چند تمرین نداشتم و خیلی بیشتر از 30 دقیقه زمان برد ولی خوشحال میشم ایراداتش رو بگید.

با تشکر

Your essay is good and for most of the time your sentences are flawless although so simple . anyhow, sometimes you don't obey the punctuation rules especially in using the ; sign. in your essay, you have removed relative pronouns when the antecedent is object. Correct though this is in informal texts, I think you should use them to make as formal an essay as it could be. Way to go mate
Another point I would you care to know is the number of words you used repetitively .
job 11
skill 8
people 5
friend 5
you'd better the alternatives which may find by using corpus frequently.
good luck
PS: These comments are not 100 percent correct.