نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[Bita]

متن نهایی(بر اساس متن ارسالی) بعد از همه تغیرات:

People attend colleges or universities to gain higher education. Nowadays life is more competitive and anyone who wants to succeed needs to be qualified everywhere especially in workplace. Academic environment helps in developing technical knowledge of students and offers them facilities to become familiar with industrial environments as much as possible.

I think, university is a place where people complete their transition from childhood to adulthood. They can learn and experience an independent new life, make friends, and meet many successful people. This gives them the opportunity to become familiar with different point of views. Meeting and networking with successful people is a very valuable experience by itself and can determine the success of students in future.


As students enter collage, they face many challenges both in classes and in their personal lives. Eventually, the students learn how to deal with these challenges and gain confidence in themselves. Of course, they may make many mistakes along the way, but the academic environment tends to be very forgiving.

In my opinion, higher education prepares student for their future, extends their social network, and helps them find better jobs after graduation. Therefore, most people prefer to have a collage experience.

[Pouya]

Topic # 3

[Bita]

متن اولیه:

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way
people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays people in modern cities do not have enough time for preparing foods. Hence, there have been created new ways for preparing foods easier and faster. Using special stoves for cooking such as microwave oven and special foods which are easily prepared are some examples of these new foods. There are such disadvantages of these new ways of preparing foods that I prefer specifying much more time to cook than eating food prepared in less than five minutes.

The most important feature in our life is the quality of living. Food we eat everyday is effective in this feature because our health depends on the quality of our lives. Fast foods such as sandwiches, pizzas, fried chickens and sausages are not healthy foods. They are fool of fat which we should cut down on if we want to be healthy and well-shaped

Food is more than something we eat. It's our life style. It shows our belief. Christians thanks god before having lunch or dinner. Most countries have special way to eat and that shows their culture. Preparing foods also helps families to be together. Members of families cooperate to make foods. Children could learn how to help their parents and Couples show themselves how they love each other. Therefore, sometimes cooking in efficient time sometimes is not the case.

With the reasons mentioned, I suggest that scheduling our time and specifying more time to prepare foods have such advantages that we can not ignore them and have fast foods. Preparing healthy foods not only make us healthy but also help us be happy.

[Bita]

متن در حال تغییر:

Nowadays, people in modern cities do not have enough time for preparing food{s}. {Hence, there have been created new ways for preparing foods easier and faster.} HENCE, EASIER AND FASTER WAYS FOR PREPARING FOOD HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED. Using special {stoves} OVENS for cooking such as microwave oven and special {foods} INGREDIENTS which are easily prepared are some examples of these new {foods} WAYS. {There are such disadvantages of these new ways of preparing foods that I prefer specifying much more time to cook than eating food prepared in less than five minutes.} THESE NEW WAYS HAVE SO MANY DISADVANTAGE THAT I’M WILLING TO SPEND MORE TIME AND COOK A GOOD MEAL AS OPPOSED TO EATING A MEAL THAT IS PREPARED IN 5 MINS.

{{I cannot understand the first sentence!}} The most important feature in our life is the quality of living. {Food we eat everyday is effective in this feature because our health depends on the quality of our lives.} FOOD WE EAT EVERYDAY AFFECTS OUR HEALTH. Fast foods such as sandwiches, pizzas, fried chickens and sausages are not healthy foods. They are {fool} FULL of fat, which we should {cut down on} AVOID if we want to be healthy and {well-shaped} FIT.

Food is more than something we eat. It's our life style. It {shows} REFLECTS our {belief} BELIEVES. Christians thank{s} god before having lunch or dinner. IN Most countries, PEOPLE have {special way to eat} EATING HABITS that {shows} REFLECT their culture. Preparing food{s} also helps families to be together. Members of families {cooperate} COLLABORATE WITH EACH OTHER to make food{s}. Children {could} CAN learn how to help their parents and couples CAN EXPRESS THEIR LOVE TO EACH OTHER {show themselves how they love each other}. Therefore, sometimes FAST AND EFFICIENT cooking {in efficient time sometimes} is not the {case} BEST.

{With the reasons mentioned, I suggest that scheduling our time and specifying more time to prepare foods have such advantages that we can not ignore them and have fast foods.}
DUE TO THESE REASONS, I PREFER TO SCHEDULE MY TASKS SO THAT I CAN SPEND MORE TIME FOR PREPARING FOOD. HAVING A HEALTHY FOOD HAS SO MANY ADVANTAGES THAT WE CANNOT IGNORE THEM. Preparing healthy food not only makeS us healthy but also helpS us TO beCOME happy.

[Bita]

متن نهایی:

Nowadays, people in modern cities do not have enough time for preparing food. Hence, easier and faster ways for preparing food have been developed. Using special ovens for cooking such as microwave oven and special ingredients that are easily prepared are examples of these new ways. These new ways have so many disadvantages that I’m willing to spend more time and cook a healthy meal as opposed to eating an unhealthy meal that is prepared in 5 minutes.

The food we eat everyday affects our health. Fast foods such as burgers, pizzas, deep-fried chicken, and hot dogs are not healthy foods. They contain a significant amount of fat, which we should avoid if we want to stay healthy and fit.

Food is more than something we eat. It is also our life style. It can even reflect our believes. For example, some Christians thank god before having lunch or dinner. Also, in most countries, people have eating habits that reflect their culture. Preparing food also helps families spend more time with each other. Members of families can collaborate with each other to prepare a meal. Children can learn how to help their parents and couples can express their love to each other. Therefore, sometimes fast and efficient cooking is not the best.


Due to these reasons, I prefer to schedule my tasks so that I can spend more time for preparing food. Having healthy food has so many advantages that we cannot ignore them. Preparing healthy food not only makes us healthy, but also helps us stay happy.

[bah_mod]

my writings

[Rory]

Hi Friends

I have written this for IBT, Independant writing sample, i am not sure how horrible it is. would you all read it and give me ur idea? I would be very thankful.
Look forward to ur opinions!

do you agree or disagree with the following sentence?

Pets should be treated like family members

Many people keep animals in their houses thus helping them as they would put it; still others would keep animals for reasons such as finding a company in order to avoid their own isolations or protection; whatever the reason may be for keeping the animals at home and thus pasting the name “pet” on them, would lead us to consider the question that “Are pets now a member of the family? “

Some would grow great passion towards their pets that even they become closer to them than family members. They feed them, bathe them, clothe them and even sometimes talk to them. If their pet gets sick, they would stay awake the whole night just like it is their own child and would do anything to get to the vet right away. In some countries there’s even a nursing home for old animals.
There are some however; who believe that there should always be a distance preserved between the life of animals and humans no matter how dear they are. Such people believe in diseases that might be transferred to human beings as a result of living too close to animals. This does not mean that they do not care for their animals or love them any less than the previous group, they just do not think that animals should be treated as a family member.

My personal idea is that animals have feelings and emotions and we are responsible towards them because humans in general have taken away the opportunity of life from many animals by destroying their ecosystem. Many cats nowadays cannot go hunting at night for food because there is nothing to hunt; and this is the problem that many other kinds of animals have. Besides; because human beings have more power than animals; this shouldn’t allow them to treat animals badly or use them for their own good. I do however believe that animals never become a family member and should never be treated as a family member because they are not human and I think even animals themselves would be happier to live in environment close to their own ecosystem rather than living in our houses or nursing homes; eating our food, putting on our cloths and sleeping in our beds.

To sum up, I would say animals should be helped out and protected but should be living in an environment close to their own way of living. This way both human beings will be safe of certain diseases which might be transferred to them and animals would be happier living in a condition closer to their own ecosystem.

[Behrouz]

اگه من می خواستم به این متن نمره بدم حتما 6(از 6)می دادم.متن درست و حسابی نوشتیاااااا!!!!!

[vahid1982]

خیلی خوبه فقط transition پاراگراف آخر رو اگه مینوشتی To sum up briefly به نظر من قشنگتر و بهتر میشد.
ضمنا پاراگراف آخر both معمولا با and میاد منظورت از both human چی بود؟ شایدم من اشتباه میکنم.
پاراگراف اول مینوشتی isolations or protections بهتر نبود؟ (یه جورایی parallel تر میشه)
در ضمن من چیزی به عنوان thesis statement تو پاراگراف اول ندیدم.
من گرامرم چندان هم خوب نیست ولی به نظر اشکال گرامری توش زیاد باشه مثلا تو شرطی ها و ...
من pbt امتحان دادم و فکر کنم یه مشکل ibt این باشه که چون گرامر نداره بچه ها کمتر کار میکنن.
البته امیدوارم من اشتباه کرده باشم. به هر حال بقیه که وارد هستن نظر بدن بهتره.

[roodmona]

topic:
"Sometimes imagination is a more valuable asset than experience. People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible and thus can approach a task without constraints of established habits and attitudes."



please check and estimate my GRE score!

[left][right][code][left][right][left]now a day, while every task in the world accelerates more and more, may be it dosn`t seem logical to ignore the obvious results of other`s experiences. In numerous cases following the other`s experiences and considering them as

a pattern can be helpful. However, it could be dangerous as well as its usefulness.
aIn another point of view, if all of human beings had followed the issues of other experiences it would have harmed the innovation and creative mind of people in every field of science. By exploring in the history we can see, whenever a new knowledge has been born a conventional constraint of established habits and attitudes, has removed. For example, if professor Zadeh, innovator of fuzzy logic, had thought he had to just obey the classical rules of mathematic, he never could have found new branch of mathematic named Fuzzy logic. As another example we can mention to the many physics rules that have displaced many classical rules.
Finally, we must consider both side of the moon for achieving to the best result of existent experiences.