نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[Cielhaut]

سلام دوستان
ممنون میشم نظرتون رو در مورد رایتینگ تسک 1 بگین - این دومین رایتینگ من در تسک 1 هستش - متشکرم

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A teacher techs some skills. The teacher has more experience. We need to find the best way in our life. The teacher helps to people to have a better situation in a society. There are many ways to solve a problem that we may teach them by teachers.
Parents learn to children some skills but not all skills that they need them. For instance, an English teacher can learn English but parents may not know that to teach. A math teacher teaches to children some specific skills to solve problems in math, but parents may not familiar with them. Moreover, parents are busy to make a better life for children and they don’t have enough time to teach all skills.
Children must be ready in their life for future. The experiences of parents are not enough to make them ready. The teacher can recognize what the children’s talent. When the talent of the children is recognition, they will learn more things about their favorite skills. So, they will be professional in their fields and competent in tasks. For example, if parents are merchant or mechanic, their thoughts are about their skills and pay attention to them more than other skills that the children have. Thus, the children will be ready along with the parents’ skill by teachers for the future.
The children had better learn connection skills in a society. The environment of the home is limited to learn all social skills by parents. On the other hand, they must find some friends and be familiar with the relationship. It’s necessary for their life. The teacher can teach better ways to have a good connection with people and the best use of their opportunities. If the children have some friends and a normal connection with other people, they can figure out some opportunities pay attention to their skills. For instance, a child learned some software and his favorite is teach. If he knows what kind of software is necessary for the society, he can find an occupation in an institute to teach that.
At the end, parents are good teachers, but they don’t know and don’t enough time to teach all skills for children that are necessaries for the society. They know about their professions and may be a bit more that. But the children need to learn some skills pay attention to their talents. They must learn an up-to-date skill for their future. And it’s possible with other teachers, not just parents.

[pmforlife]

ممنون میشم نظرتون رو راجع به این رایتینگ بگین. خیای وقت بود چیزی ننوشته بودم و این رو بدون تایم گرفتن نوشتم و برای همین هم یخورده زیاد شد (422 کلمه) البته تو 30 دیقه میتونم یکم کوتاهتر ازین رو بدون کمبود وقت بنویسم.


?Virtual classes or real classes

Online services are one of the most important natures of21^st century. Virtual classes is a good example of these services. In contrast to those who believe real classes are the better choice for study, I am of the opinion that virtual classes are more fruitful due to time-saving and cutting down the expenditure. This essay will explore each reason in depth.

To begin with, time is one of the most significant aspects of everyone’s life, which all people try to save as much as they can. In real classes, there are many situations, which consumes students’ time. The time needed to go from home to school and back to home, times which the classes are canceled because of any reason and not having class in a row are just some examples of this time killing system. I very well recall all of those problems when I was studying at university. I never forget a day that I had a hard test. The day before it, I had to attend another class. It was at evening and I had to stay at the university since morning without having another class. The library was closed and because of my long way, it was not possible to come back to home. The worst part was that the class canceled and I ended up my day full of wasted time. I also failed the test. Thanks to the old educational system!

Equally important, money is a crucial concern for many students, which everyone tries to cut down any unnecessary expenses. Transportation expenditure is a source of spending money, which no one can escape from it in the real class system. It could seem not to be a major problem, but when you account the year round cost, it really becomes very high. I had experienced it as a student some years ago when I attended a university far from my house. I had to take the subway and a bus to reach the college. Occasionally when I was late, taking a taxi was the only choice to not being late at class. Then I found that getting a part time job is unavoidable. Hence, I started to work and had less time to study. The result was that my average score decreased considerably.

By way of conclusion, I firmly support virtual classes due to providing students a more efficient time scheduling and decreasing the total expenses of studying. I hope that in coming years, more universities provide online courses. It is a win-win strategy for both colleges and students.

[pmforlife]

سلام دوستان
ممنون میشم نظرتون رو در مورد رایتینگ تسک 1 بگین - این دومین رایتینگ من در تسک 1 هستش - متشکرم

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A teacher techs some skills. The teacher has more experience. We need to find the best way in our life. The teacher helps to people to have a better situation in a society. There are many ways to solve a problem that we may teach them by teachers.

Parents learn to children some skills but not all skills that they need them. For instance, an English teacher can learn English but parents may not know that to teach. A math teacher teaches to children some specific skills to solve problems in math, but parents may not be familiar with them. Moreover, parents are busy to make a better life for children and they don’t have enough time to teach all skills.

Children must be ready in their life for future. The experiences of parents are not enough to make them ready. The teacher can recognize what the children’s talent. When the talent of the children is recognition, they will learn more things about their favorite skills. So, they will be professional in their fields and competent in tasks. For example, if parents are merchant or mechanic, their thoughts are about their skills and pay attention to them more than other skills that the children have. Thus, the children will be ready along with the parents’ skill by teachers for the future.

The children had better learn connection skills in a society. The environment of the home is limited to learn all social skills by parents. On the other hand, they must find some friends and be familiar with the relationship. It’s necessary for their life. The teacher can teach better ways to have a good connection with people and the best use of their opportunities. If the children have some friends and a normal connection with other people, they can figure out some opportunities to pay attention to their skills. For instance, a child learned some software and his favorite is teach. If he knows what kind of software is necessary for the society, he can find an occupation in an institute to teach that.
At the end, parents are good teachers, but they don’t know and don’t have enough time to teach all skills for children that are necessaries for the society. They know about their professions and may be a bit more that. But the children need to learn some skills pay attention to their talents. They must learn an up-to-date skill for their future. And it’s possible with other teachers, not just parents.

سلام.
البته من خودمم هنوز تافل ندادم و در حال تمرینم ولی فعلا تا بقیه دوستان جواب میدن یه سری نکاتی که به چشمم خورد و از خونده ها و کلاس رفتنام تا حدی میدونم رو میگم.
بخشایی که قرمز کردم ایراد گرامری دارن اکثرا، یا جاهایی هم لغت درست استفاده نشده، دو سه جایی هم که بولد شده رو خودم اضافه کردم تا متن از نظر گرامری درست دربیاد.

از نظر محتوایی هم من کلمه skill رو که استفاده کردی رو با رنگ سبز مشخص کردم. خیلی استفاده شده! میانگین هر 25 کلمه یه بار اسکیل تکرار شده.
مثال شخصی رو همیشه میگن خوبه که تو رایتینگ تافل به کار برد. شما استفاده نکردی. حداقل یه مورد رو تو پارگراف های بادی به کار میبردی.

سعی کن تو هر پارگراف بادی یه موضوع کلی رو اول مشخص کنی همون اول و بعد پیرامون همون بسط بدی ادامه اش رو.

جملات تکراری هم زیاد به کار رفته. به نظرم متن حتی کوتاهتر بشه بهتر ازینه که تکرارهایی به کار ببریم که خواننده حس کنه مطلبی نداشتیم و فقط خواستیم به حجم متنمون اضضافه کنیم.

حرف اخر اینکه رایتینگ معمولا پیشرفتش سریع تر از بقیه مهارت هاس و شما هم که هنوز تازه شروع کردی و مطمئنا این ایرادا رو زود میتونی رفع کنی.
موفق باشی....

[rezaamh]

سلام دوستان ممنون میشم کمک کنید



There is no doubt that parents play an essential role in family as to shape the characteristic of their children. Since they become busier compared to the past, their time get more limit as well. Although some people believe that the most efficiently use of limitation of time is doing some related work to children’s educational curiculium, others believe that children strongly need to play game and have leisure time in the rest of the day, when they are not in school. I, for one, subscribe to the latter idea for the issue of making them more successful in their schools and keeping them through a excellent fashion of upbringing.



To begin with, the achievement of students that earn from either playing games or doing sport with their parents can be considered in terms of preparing mentally and physically in order to start energetic new-day, as far as being successful in those of educational path is concerned. It is clear that, every day in schools, pressure burden from work calsses make children tried; consequently, parents, by planing a fun game in their limit time can definitely great help to children in order to get rides of their stresses. Additionally, sports make students' brain fresh. With this in mind, recently, an investigation among high-school students in Tehran shows that the students who are playing game besides their studying are always few step further than their classmates. At the same time, when the pressure of daily-classes not be released, it influences on students in wrong manner, and consequently cause they become hateful about the lessens, which should be learn in next school-day.


Secondly, another privilege of playing game or sport with children has to do with Upbringing them in decent way. One of the benefit received by a game or sport that facilitate parents' responsibility for learning it to their children is team-works, which plays an important role in those characteristics . Moreover they will be learnt helping each other through a game from their parents, and the most conspicuous ones improve relationships between parents and their children. In other words, playing game and sport definitely improve the emotional bond ties between them. Thus, the parents, the most important purpose of which is upbringing children, will make the condition ideal. On the other hand, if parents want to continuous the dead-space of educational system with their children in their free-times not only does not help children in their schooling, but also has detrimental influences on it.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that parent’s time limitation should be spent on playing game and sport with their children on the grounds the goals of educational and upbringing.

.

[ali136621]

سلام
ممنون میشم ایرادات این راتینگ رو بگید
Undoubtedly, Earth and its preservation can play an important role in the life of most people since leading a gratifying life is not feasible without it. While some argue that human beings have been tried to make the Earth a better place to live, others would disagree. I, for one, subscribe to the latter group on account of the substantial reasons which will follow.

First, the main reason is that humans’ activities have caused major pollutions. Thanks to scientific improvements, human being has made various products, ranging from chemical to biological ones, which some of them are completely harmful to the environment and can cause severe pollutions. Statistics demonstrate that air pollution due to cars is one of the most striking reasons for increasingly pollution and damage to the Earth. Also, Because of producing CFCs, chlorofluorocarbons or an especial chemical substance, the Ozone layer of the Earth is prone to be destroyed and so the existence of human being is in danger of being extinct. Furthermore, although the decomposition of plastic needs a great deal of time, maybe a century, we use plastic bottles to store water. Hence, human activities can afflict the Earth as far as the environmental pollution is concerned.

The second reason is that natural resources have been threatened due to human activities. Either extracting oil from the beneath of oceans, or changing coastal ecosystem may pose a major threat to the life of aquatic creatures. Furthermore, several trees must be cut for the production of papers and as a result of this deforestation would take place in the Earth. This means that human interference is one of the prime menacing reasons to the dwindling trend of natural resources. In this regard, there is a Persian proverb, the equivalent of which in English may sound like this, “preserve the natural resources to be alive,” which emphasizes the importance of natural resources and Earth in our life. As an illustration, in my own country, Iran, people are not accustomed to sustainable consumption, and as a result of this many rivers and lakes have been dried due to the overuse of their water. As you can see, human can endanger the Earth by destroying the natural resources.

All in all, human activities are not beneficial to the environment in where we live and Earth. Not only will human activities cause environmental problems to the Earth, but also it would destroy the natural resources. Hence, let’s care more about the Earth and not take its important role in our life for granted.

[ashky]

سلام خدمت دوستان و تصحیح کنندگان لطفا در مورد انشای من هم نظر بدید . با تشکر از وقتی که گذاشتین.

Earth is damaged by human activity or human activity makes the earth a better place to live


It is undeniable that human have made changes in the earth that they could live in a better and comfortable way. But here there is an arguable question whether it is influenced badly or
not I agree the former one which I will explain in the following paragraphs


To begin with, I feel that mankind harmed the earth because our natural environment have disappeared. Nowadays, people which they possess lands in countryside sells farmland for the
sake of money to the company owners. Company owner destroy natural environment to build construction for manufacturing new products. By reducing virgin and green space to advance technology and industry our planet got more affected than before. To exemplify, in my grandmother’s country there are huge amount of factory is built. I remember when I was a child how well the air quality was. However, today, air pollution is major issue in my grandmother’ region. Furthermore, local subjects are suffering from water contamination as well. So as you can see, industrialization is led to the negative impact on our planet, the earth

The second reason in supporting efficacy of human-being is that atmospheric conditions is getting worst in the few decade ago, as it cause health problems in the daily human life. Before inventing devices to comfort life, there isn’t such a serious health problems. But with emerging modern home electric furniture some sort of difficulty appeared. I will use an example to illustrate this. When refrigerator was invented for keeping foods and fruits fresh, nobody thought of its effect. Today many environmental scientists inform refrigerator makers that Osen layer, which is a layer that refusing the earth from the sun’s harmful radiation, is being ruined by implementing CFC gases in their products. In addition, these byproduct gases lead to not only affect other creature, but also cause physical matters such as skin cancer. So this example illustrate how human is affecting the earth in such a cruel way

All in all, I contend that we make our plant a thing that is full of company smokes but rather unpleasant, because green spaces is vanished and because atmospheric circumstances are aggravated

[amirfahp]

what's your opinion about this


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to use printed material such as books and articles to do research than it is to use the internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In the recent years governments have tried to substitute green products like internet with other products. Therefore, I am completely certain that I am not concur with this statement. There are lots of reasons why we should use internet instead of books and articles. First, we can access to lots of informations in the internet free of charge, but if you want to buy some books you must to pay more money, therefore you can invest your money buy researching in the internet. Secondly, when you want to buy some books for your studies you must go to the city. Nowadays, cities are completely full of cars, so you should spend some hours to buy just a book, but if you buy it from the internet you can invest your time. Third, by using internet instead of books we can help governments to achieve their goals about green products. When we use internet, books publishers will trying to decrease their books products and publish articles in the internet, therefor by using fewer paper materials, paper factories do not need to cut trees to produce paper. Forth, using internet for research is easier than books and other paper materials. For example, when you want to search a specific keyword, in the book you have to search for many hours to find a simple keyword, but in the internet you can easily use search keywords tools to find your keyword just in a second. Another example is that you can easily edit your books or articles text by using online editor tools. There are lots of online text editor which can help you to edit books text. If you are using paper materials you have to use pen or pencil to take a note, therefore your books become messy and untidy. In conclusion, I am totally agree with using internet instead of paper materials for researching. By using internet we can gain more advantage than when we use books or paper materials

.

[Sharang]

سلام خدمت دوستان و تصحیح کنندگان لطفا در مورد انشای من هم نظر بدید . با تشکر از وقتی که گذاشتین.

Earth is damaged by human activity or human activity makes the earth a better place to live


It is undeniable that human have made changes in the earth that they could live in a better and comfortable way. But here there is an arguable question whether it is influenced badly or
not I agree the former one which I will explain in the following paragraphs


To begin with, I feel that mankind harmed the earth because our natural environment have disappeared. Nowadays, people which they possess lands in countryside sells farmland for the
sake of money to the company owners. Company owner destroy natural environment to build construction for manufacturing new products. By reducing virgin and green space to advance technology and industry our planet got more affected than before. To exemplify, in my grandmother’s country there are huge amount of factory is built. I remember when I was a child how well the air quality was. However, today, air pollution is major issue in my grandmother’ region. Furthermore, local subjects are suffering from water contamination as well. So as you can see, industrialization is led to the negative impact on our planet, the earth

The second reason in supporting efficacy of human-being is that atmospheric conditions is getting worst in the few decade ago, as it cause health problems in the daily human life. Before inventing devices to comfort life, there isn’t such a serious health problems. But with emerging modern home electric furniture some sort of difficulty appeared. I will use an example to illustrate this. When refrigerator was invented for keeping foods and fruits fresh, nobody thought of its effect. Today many environmental scientists inform refrigerator makers that Osen layer, which is a layer that refusing the earth from the sun’s harmful radiation, is being ruined by implementing CFC gases in their products. In addition, these byproduct gases lead to not only affect other creature, but also cause physical matters such as skin cancer. So this example illustrate how human is affecting the earth in such a cruel way

All in all, I contend that we make our plant a thing that is full of company smokes but rather unpleasant, because green spaces is vanished and because atmospheric circumstances are aggravated

I have attached your writing here along with my comments. Your writing suffers from the insufficient understanding of grammar rules. I suggest you start working on your grammar by making short sentences instead of more complicated and convoluted structures. (the grammar in use collection would be a good start to learn the basics of grammar). You've tried to use complicated sentences, but there is at least one grammatical error in each of them. You should also learn the correct use of punctuations and spelling.

[Armin1945]

سلام دوستان. اگه لطف کنید و یه نگاهی هم به رایتینگ من بندازین ممنون میشم.

TPO 11
Do you agree or disagree?
Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems?
Our modern era, has been called as the age of information. It is imperative for every community to update to new technological advances and daily news. Although easy providing information has caused to some detriments for various individuals specially teenagers, however I believe that world wide web provides precious updates for scientists and make the shopping a delightful experience.

To begin with, being update to new currents and technology is a necessary source for every academic accomplishments. This is a world that in every minute, a new scientific discovery has fulfilled or a new patent has registered. Thus, for every student, scientist and industry is highly important to being in touch with the new explorations. The internet provides such people easy access to a treasure of researches from every corner of the world by pushing just a button. For instance, a chemistry student cannot accomplish his thesis and research about complex reaction networks or biology cells or any subject without reading the prestigious journal articles and patents. In this regard, he or she can search through the web and find any kind of material he or she desired.

Although, easy providing the scientific materials is important, however, internet made the common people's life much comfortable as well. There is no surprise today, that you can order any kind of good you need by the internet. Indeed, the au courant advances in technology lead societies toward internet shopping. Thus. busy parents insted of wasting their times in large and crowded hypermarket, order what ever they want and save their times for family occasions. Moreover, by internet shopping you have much opportunities while you search different shopping webites such as Amazon or EBay. In this way, you feel more convenient form your shopping. In addition, you could save more money while you do not need to go to down town and paying for gas or bus. It is great shopping in any perspective.

In conclusion, graduate students, scientist and researchers can develop their researches by easy reaching to internet. Furthermore, every individuals can provide his or her needs via internet by simple search through websites.

[heidary4444]

سلام دوستان

من بعد از مدت ها اولین رایتینگم رو نوشتم چون 1 ماه دیگه حدودا امتحان دارم.
ممنون میشم دوستان نظرشون رو بهم بگن.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
From a broad perspective, in the current state of affairs we face, in which the nature of human relationships become more and more complicated, it is not far-fetched to presume that establishing (the or a) constructive connection with others plays a crucial role. However, the extent of veracity in relations is considered as a contentious issue. There is a growing number of people who contend that truthfulness is an integral part of relationships, and I personally repudiate this idea. In the ensuing paragraphs, the rationale behind this statement will be elaborated.
First and foremost, there is a wide array of interaction between people. There is no denying to the fact that human is a social creature, and the speaking capability distinguishes human relationship with other living things. Indeed, according to the approaches that individuals apply in order to communicate with each other determines the type of their relations. Take an experienced 50-year-old business man as an example.(,)Having consulted with the company's financial advisor, the man has decided to invest heavily in a new high-tech stocks and necessitate to hinder his components to become cognizant of this profitable investment. Undoubtedly, if his close friend, who works in a competitor's company, asks him regarding his intention, the astute man will come up with (the or a) garbled answer. In fact, he has no other choice but shading the truth since honesty (honestly) can jeopardize his investment. Besides, probably, so trustworthy is his manner that his companions know him as the most reliable person. Therefore, due to the complexity of relationships,honestly (honesty) is not always a (the) best attitude.
Another crucial point which should be taken into consideration is that people have(the or a) various point of view. It goes without saying that each circumstance is required to be scrutinized from diverse angles, and that is why each person's perception differs from another one. Consequently, rarely is the definition of a particular word the same in people's mind. For instance, imagine an employee who takes a day off owing to (a) terrible headache, and sends a () massage to get permission. Calling her to greet, her boss becomes dubious since her voice was not that much bad (worse) that she thought. Apparently, these two individuals were the two sides of the same coin. The boss expected that her terrible headache should be far more irritating, although the employees she is painful enough to stay at home. As a result, the matter is the way that people look through the situations.
To wrap up, it is more judicious to say that despite the fact that veracity constantly has been accounted as the inevitable principle in human relationships, it would not be sensible that always use it in our lives. Apparently, diversity in both human interactions and characteristics make people to not telling the truth, either consciously or not.

سلام
خوب هستید به نظرم خوب نوشتید اما بهتر هم میتونست با شه اینا مواردی بود که به ذهن من رسید چند نکته رو رعایت کنید اولا تو بادیهاتون از سعی کنید از کلمات خیلی پیچیده پرهیز کنید در عوض سادتر وطوری باشه که هم بستگی پاراگراف با دلیلاتون حفظ بشه .از طرفی در ابتدای بادی دلیل رو به طور کامل واشکار ابتدا قید کنید تا برای هر خواننده ای موضوع مشخص باشه.
به امید موفقیت بیشتر