راهنمای نوشتن SOP و درخواست نمونه های آن(لطفا SOP‌خود را براي تصحيح قرار ندهيد)

[SiyavashSTG]

دوستان من متن اس او پی رو یک بار گذاشتم که توسط یکی از عزیزان توصیه هایی در این زمینه به من شد، حالا دوباره متن اصلاح شده رو می ذارم، لطفا نظر بدین که من چه تغییراتی بدم، فقط من تا 2 3 روز دیگه می خوام مدارک بفرستم، اگه می شه زودتر راهنماییم کنید.

[nedafarzam]

Hello to anyone who read this at this moment,guys I really need ur help to take a look at my SoP and tell me how can I improve it.I rewrote it for several times but at last got confused .I'll be really appreciate that answer me as soon as possible.Thanx u all

[kazhal]

سلام

من یه sop نوشتم.می خواستم اگه کسی میتونه کمکم کنه براش ایمیل کنم که بخونه........البته به انگلیسی نوشتم

ممنون از همکاری های احتمالیتون

[sjjpo2002]

Hello to anyone who read this at this moment,guys I really need ur help to take a look at my SoP and tell me how can I improve it.I rewrote it for several times but at last got confused .I'll be really appreciate that answer me as soon as possible.Thanx u all

The English was good. The text is not bad for the draft version. There were many colors in the text. But, I prefer Blue. You may consider the following:

- the first paragraph carries some sense of exaggeration. Don't try to write that you're coming to save the world
-I don't like third paragraph. Just use two or three sentences of that subject to show that you are really interested! Talking too much about that kind of difference makes it worse.
- Try to establish a connection between each paragraph and, all to the first somehow

Good Luck

[kazhal]

با سلام
من در حین نوشتن sop یه سوالی برای پیش اومد. سوالم اینه : از اونجا که من لیسانس معماری بودم و الان ترم آخر فوق مرمت هستم، توی sop خودم به اینکه من مرمت خوندم هم اشاره کنم یا نه؟ (با توجه به اینکه قصد دارم برای فوق معماری اقدام کنم).

با تشکر فراوان

[Shaparak.r]

Sure, mention it please.

با سلام
من در حین نوشتن sop یه سوالی برای پیش اومد. سوالم اینه : از اونجا که من لیسانس معماری بودم و الان ترم آخر فوق مرمت هستم، توی sop خودم به اینکه من مرمت خوندم هم اشاره کنم یا نه؟ (با توجه به اینکه قصد دارم برای فوق معماری اقدام کنم).

با تشکر فراوان

[SiyavashSTG]

Hi everyone! I finally came to my SOP after 2 weeks. I'll appreciate if you take your time and give me some advice how to improve it.

[INGWAY]

Hi everyone! I finally came to my SOP after 2 weeks. I'll appreciate if you take your time and give me some advice how to improve it.

Here's my opinion:
1- I swear that "I swear" is going to kill all the possible effects of the rest of your SOP, JUST DELETE IT, who swears about his commitment? whole idea of SOP is to convey that implicitly.
2- Remove all the numbers and ranks and school names and course work > they belong to CV
3- Unfortunately 99% SOP's I see are more retrospective than prospective, yours is not an exception. you should try to minimize the past tenses and use those few alongside future tenses. Personal background is different than SOP you cannot merge PB and SOP together and many schools only need SOP and not PB. Have you seen anything on UBC's site about the expected contents of SOP they want?
4- usually a prospective PhD student's SOP should be deeper in terms of its breath of scientific feel, anecdotes and life experiences are not bad but should be minimized: elaborate more scientifically sound ideas and plans. make it as close as possible similar to a 'proposal', not as 'formal' as one, of course; but something that conveys your intellectual ability than storytelling ability. Many sample SOP's on Internet elsewhere are for high school students trying to get to humanity study programs in colleges, unfortunately many PhD prospective students use their themes in their own SOP's which is wrong; yours is not one of them, but I just mentioned it to warn you about the general feel of a good forceful SOP of a prospective researcher in deep scientific areas.
5- most important of all and a huge hole in most of the SOP's I see: expand the reasons of goodness of the school, allover the place, just mentioning that this school is good is not good enough, why is it so? you mentioned a certain lab and also in more than one place the name of the school, it's good but you should expand it, name professors you admire and relate their research to yours.
6- there are also other changes that I highlighted

[SiyavashSTG]

Thanks Ingway. That was really helpful
Wil it be okay if I use 'determine' instead of 'swaer' and make first sentences less heroic?

[ramtin jam]

کسی وقت داره sop منو بخونه و نظر بده؟ ( یک آدم وارد) اگه کسی این زحمتو میکشه بگه واسش ایمیل کنم. مرسی