Please Revise My Essay

[hon-mr]

I would be appreciated if one has time and check this new essay. I rectified the possible mistakes I realized . But if there is any, please let me know.

Thanks for your time and helps in advance.



The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, then those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays higher education is more accessible than before. Therefore so many students choose to continue their education in universities directly, though some prefer to work in order to earn experience or save some money to continue their education.
The groups, who prefer to enter universities directly, have their own reasons. First they want to save their time and graduate earlier to start their occupation earlier as well. Next is that educational material is in their mind and there is less risk to lose it by passing time.
In spite of those who go for higher education immediately, there are some students who like to be in society before continuing their education. This helps them to have an accurate understanding of the real world and relationships. They will see how their previous theoric information could come into practice. This even will give them a view of how to manage their future studies.
Hence not having a previous understanding of working area may possibly cause students to learn less in the future. A good illustration is my classmates who received a very low mark in one of the practical civil engineering subjects since they did not have adequate practical knowledge for that subject prior to take it.
Finally being in real business and working environment helps people to find their abilities, talents and position in society not only in the classroom and consequently give them the chance to select a related and suitable course for their further studies.
In conclusion, I believe that despite of the possibility to join higher education directly, being in working environment has more benefits and will definitely result in more successful graduates.

[saeedkakooei]

اساتید گرامی لطفا انشا بنده را تصحیح بفرمایید.
سپاسگذارم
“In the present age, it is no longer necessary to use animal-derived products, for example food, clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
…………………………………………� �………………

Some of people think that we do not need animal-derived products in the contemporary age. I strongly disagree with them. Mankind can not live without animals. We use animals to produce our food. We need their wool and skin for producing clothes, shoes and bags. Their bone and other orgasms can be useful in medicine fields.

In my opinion, it is not imaginable to live without animal-derived products. All people need to drink milk every day if they like their healthy. The existence calcium in milk will help to we have strength bone in our whole life. We use eggs in most of our food. Eggs have omega-3 that it can control the blood pressure. Although, we must use vegetables for a part of our feeding, but under nutritional problems will disturb us if we do not use meat in our diet schedule.

Today, it can be clearly seen that artificial products broadly use in everywhere. These products play a most important role in clothes industries, but we should know that the artificial goods are not as good qualified as animal-derived products are. For example, if you compare two shoes that one is made with artificial natural leather and another is made with natural leather. We can see the natural leather will have more life time and your foot will be safer in them. Also, the clothes that are made by using natural wool or skin will have better qualify than clothes are made by petroleum products. For instance, scientists made a cloth by using spider warps that is shot-proof.

Medicine factory extract calcium components from animals bone. They use these calcium components for producing calcium tablet. Some of animal orgasms have good merit for using in surgery. As you know, some animals such as rabbits and mice are used for research fields to scientists examine new medicine products on them.

In conclusion, it is necessary to we know the importance of animals in our life and we must know that we can not live without animals. They play most important role in our life.

[hon-mr]

I have uploaded the corrected essay here.
I hope it helps you.

[MNL]

دوستان خیلی خوشحال می شم اگه نگاهی به مال من هم بندازید

با تشکر

cambrige 6 page 30

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/3d17973f0b.jpg



Write at least 150 words.



There are a graph and a table provided below. They both reveal the result of water consumption having been printed lately. The conclusions derived are as follows:

The first graph cast light on a global water use by sector during one century (between 1900 and 2000). Starting with a agricultural usage: The most water consumption was belong to a agricultural usage over period of 100 years .In first half of century, agricultural consumption have been slightly increased from almost 500 km3 to 100 km3.but , in next half century, there was a sharp elevation in the water consumption using by agriculture up to 3,000 km3,as it shown in the graph.

Two other main consumptions,as we can see from first graph, are industrial and domestical use .In 50 back to back years starting form initializing year (1900) there were no t any big diffiert between both of them . Bothe were starting form approximately 3 km3 and reached to gently under 6 km3.but ,industrial use , same as agricultural sector, increased their consumption to around 1,000 km3 over 50 consequent years ,as understand from graph. In contrast, a slow trend is observed (form 4 km3 to nearly 300km3) in the water consumption which used by domestic people in same period of time.

The table illustrate water consumption in two specific countries in the year 2000.in this year, 5.2 million persons lived in Congo and also Congo had 100km2 irrigated land. Every person in Congo used 8m3 water in one year .In Brazil ,on the other hand, every person ,in one year, consumed 359m3 water and 26,500 km2 irrigated land existed for 176 million persons .





267 words

[mahdi62]

با سلام
من متشکر می شوم اگه کسی به متن زیر هم یک نگاهی بیندازد

To Whom It May Concern:
Respectfully,
It is hereby certified that MR ......, holder of ID card No ..... , born on July.13,1983 ,holder of Bachelor's Degree from ...... University in the field of Software Engineering, has been working in our company as C#,ASP.NET developer and .NET analyzer under the rule of I.R.I ministry of labour and social affairs from .... to ....., He used to cooperate directly with the MRS ...... as the manager in the field of software development. Some main duties he was involved,
1. Designing the infrastructure of the softwares using multi-tier technologies with C#.NET language
2. Accounting System Analysis with UML and ERD diagrams
3. Sales System Analysis with UML and ERD diagrams
4. Wage Management System Analysis
5. Administrative Automation System Analysis
6. Implementing the databases with MS Sql Server
7. Upgrading our COM components ,Utilizing the Microsoft Web Services
8. Upgrading our software to use LINQ and WCF
9. Designing our web portlets with ASP.NET and JQuery library
He understands .NET technologies well and he has a good grasp of knowledge with C# as well as ASP.NET applications, He has extensive range of knowledge in .NET technologies from version 1.1 to 3.5. He can create and manage COM+ components, as well as Web Services with WCF. Furthermore He has a great knowledge of LINQ to utilize the enumerable objects and databases more efficiently. He has a potent ability in analyzing the information systems and implementing them with C# while he has a great capability to debug the .NET applications as well.
The latest salary he received was Rls. 3,000,000 per month. We are satisfied with his performance and progress during her service.
For further information, please contact me, Eng. "………………" , Managing Director through the above mentioned telephone No. and address.
Managing Director
Tehran: December, 2009

[ریحانه]

آدرس یه سایت که writing تصیح می کنه
http://www.onlinecorrection.com/

[chegini]

با سلام خدمت دوستان
اگر کسی بتواند یک نظر راجع به متن زیر بدهد خیلی ممنون می شوم. به نظر شما حدودا چه نمره ای می گیرم؟ و آیا می توانم تا 26 فروردین که امتحان دارم نمره 7 بگیرم؟

Question: One day the world’s oil and gas reserves will run out. The search for alternative energy sources like wind power, solar power, water power and burning waste are causing as much environmental damage as the oil and nuclear power they intend to replace. How far do you agree? What possible benefits do the alternative energy sources bring? Or what damage do they cause?

Answer:
Nowadays, one of the main concerns is the limited amount of the global oil and gas reserves. Scientists are on a run to find alternative energy sources such as wind power, solar power, water power and burning waste. Some believe that the search for these alternative resources of energy have as much pollution as the ones intended to replace, resulting in an equal environmental damage. Take, for example, water power. In order to be harnessed, a reservoir must be constructed, which in long turn will have a repercussion on the environment. Another example is burning waste, which probably causes as much air pollution as oil power.

Others, myself included, are of the opinion that if measures taken, these problems could be addressed. For instance, if scientists are able to find a way to use water power without the need to build massive dams, there will be much less side-effects. Moreover, the alternative energy sources are far more beneficial than oil and nuclear power sources. First, being unlimited, no measure has to be taken to preserve them for future generations. Second, the pollution caused by these powers is by far less than other powers. And last but not least, the cost of the suggested powers is much less than the sources they intend to replace.

In conclusion, the fact is that the oil and gas reserves are running out and the need for replacements can not be neglected. Moreover, the environmental pollution caused by the mentioned resources can not be denied. Therefore, scientists need to find a solution to replace these energy reserves with nature friendly ones, causing as less environmental damage as possible.

[Golnar]

سلام
من یه نمونه رایتینگم رو که توی همون زمان 40 دقیقه ای نوشتم اینجا آپلود کرد. به نظر خودم موضوع ساده ای بود (تست1 کمبریج5) و جای بهتر نوشتن هم داشت اما دفعه اول مواجهه با موضوع مطرحه!
دوستان صاحب نظر لطف می کنید اشکالات نوشته من رو بگید؟

راستی عنوانش اینه:

universities should accept equal members of male and female students in every subject. to what extent do you agree or disagree? give reason - relevant example

[Golnar]

من متن خودم و یه متن دیگه رو توی این سایتی که دوستمون ریحانه معرفی کردن چک کردم، خیلی مکانیکی این کار رو می کنه و کلا من تاییدش نمی کنم، ظاهرا برنامه اش یه کمی هم باگ داره! بچه پررو رو دارید؟ D:
البته ممکنه مورد به مورد فرق کنه. من به توصیه shad عزیز تجربه خودم رو به اشتراک گذاشتم.

منتظر نظر دوستان در مورد متنم هستم.

[rebvar]

دوستان لطفا متن اینجانب را تصحیح بفرمائید
با تشکر بسیار

Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in the modern society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In many historical films, we have seen some families which in them, parents educated their children themselves but (and nowadays) some people argue that this method can not be used anymore whatsoever and new methods should be examined even if current method doesn’t work very well.
Firstly, in the most of countries, parent should both work (both should work) excluding rich in rich families which their number s not considerable, as a result they don’t have enough time to have some studies and prepare themselves to teach their children and we can see in the news that today’s science developes (progresses) on a daily basis, specially medical sciences, then a teacher needs to update his/her knowledge periodically.
In addition, nowadays there are many various techniques to teach different topics, for example computer simulation or experimental films can be used in teaching natural sciences, laboratories for language learning or group activities related to fundamental social topics (principals) , and all of these methods definitely can not be provided in each home.
On the other hand, we all are aware of the love that parents have toward heir children then it’s clear that no one will feel more responsibility about the children rather than them. Also there is deep mutual understanding between them that this knowledge con influence on how much the child will learn the topic that is taught and because they have much more time together then he/she always can ask his/her questions and I think this opportunity is not or at least less available in official situations, for instance when I was in primary school in Iran although I had many questions or disagreements, I never asked them because most of the teachers would be angry and I remember that this problem wasn’t just with me.
In conclusion, I believe that home schooling still can be used but it depends on the country’s social condition and the level of education that we speak about. In which social conditions means there are many high educated parents on average in that country that have enough time to teach their children in primary levels or as another idea we can combine different types of schooling in a scientific manner in order to achieve high quality students and also we should be aware that this topics is not some unimportant imaginations because the statistics have showed the number of illiteracy has increased in developed countries such as the UK or the USA in the recent years.