Please Revise My Essay

[hooman_teh]

.Thanks a billion Sara, I look forward to hearing your reply

The UK government spends a large amount of money a year supporting museums and galleries, it also subsidises the visual and performing arts. In my point of view these subsidies should be decreased and less money be spent in these kinds of interest.

There are enormous difficulties which Britons are faced with everyday, for instance, consider tenants who wish to have a small house on their own, so allocating a big proportion of the country's budget to these fancy entertainments is not fair, while some people are facing with various problems in preparing basic life requirements, such as, food, accommodation, job, etc.

On the other hand, for sure people in each society need various kinds of entertainments, hobbies, etc, to take and refresh themselves spiritually and physically after all exhaustive daily works. Otherwise, they may become depressed and as a consequence, psychological sicknesses may start to spread all over the country. The
?remaining question is what should the government do

To sum up, I tend to think that, governors should consider different factors, such as, unemployment rates, poverty incidence, etc, and then decide how to share the budget
to cover all these areas in the best way

.

[hooman_teh]

hi Sara please do me a favour again

As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even starting work. This is an undesirable situation. Do you agree or disagree? ( insight into IELTS page 120

)

Collage education is very popular amongst youngsters these days. Despite of past centuries, everyone no matter boy or girl, rich or poor can pursue his or her education in higher degrees. I tend to think that, everybody should have this right.
Nowadays, universities play a pivotal role in educating people all over the world. The number of scholarships is increasing rapidly and it shows the world's need to professionals. However, one may claim that because of these enormous educational facilities, a large number of people can get college degrees and it devalues academic qualifications.
In spite of this fact that, academic degrees are devaluing day after day, in my opinion, we do need this devaluation, because we live in active and cosmopolitan communities, everyday inventors introduce a new innovation as a result of living in the Information Technology age. Therefore, everyone should adapt himself or herself to this dynamic world.
On the other hand, in some developing countries, such as Iran, where people live in poverty and the population is growing dramatically, there are not enough vacant job opportunities and this leads to a rush for taking vacant positions, everyone tries to get higher education to take the job and this causes devaluation in qualifications.
To sum up, having too many graduated people is necessary in a well-developed country with advanced technology, various industries and vacant job positions; however, we should not forget that each country needs workers, farmers, civil servants, etc, beside specialists to survive.

[Sara.Sh]

As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even starting work. This is an undesirable situation. Do you agree or disagree? ( insight into IELTS page 120)

Collage education is very popular amongst youngsters these days. Unlike past centuries, everyone no matter boy or girl, rich or poor can pursue his education in higher degrees. I believe that everybody should have the right to choose his academic path.
Nowadays, universities play a pivotal role in educating people all over the world. The number of scholarships is increasing rapidly and this indicates the world's need for the expert. However, one may claim that due to these enormous educational facilities, a large number of people can get college degrees which devalue academic qualifications.
In spite of the fact that academic degrees are devaluing day after day, in my opinion, we do need this devaluation, because we are living in active and cosmopolitan communities, everyday inventors introduce a new innovation as a result of living in the Information Technology age. Therefore, everyone should adapt himself to this dynamic world.
On the other hand, in some developing countries, such as Iran, where people live in poverty and the population is growing dramatically, there are not enough job opportunities and this leads to a rush for taking vacant positions, as a result, everyone tries to get higher education so that he can take a job and this conduce to devaluation in qualifications.
To sum up, having too many graduated people is necessary in a well-developed country with advanced technology, various industries and vacant job positions; however, we should not forget that each country needs workers, farmers, civil servants, etc, as well as specialists to survive.

[hooman_teh]

Sara, do you know you are my hero? thanks a lot

The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and maybe unlikely to learn. Eventually we will have a polarised society and this lead to serious social problems. (Page 83 insight into IELTS)

Nowadays people waste less time for doing routine and time-consuming tasks such as paying bills, buying an aeroplane ticket, book a train ticket or even ordering a pizza. How is it possible to do this variety of works without need to do them in person?
Information Technology is a way which omits unnecessary and repeated bureaucracies in all kinds of works and services that governmental or private companies have served. For instance, in past people had to stay in long queues to pay an electricity bill, therefore they lost a great deal of time. Or even for buying a plane ticket, they had to do it in person while you can do it simply with a click these days, by means of Information Technology. Internet is one of the powerful tools in Information Technology's hands for doing quick and incredible works in a short time. People can go shopping, work, find new friends and even visit old relatives who live every where around the world no matter how far they are through their web cams, so Internet connect people, cultures, languages, etc.
On the other hand, there are still a few people who do not know much about these great changes and how do they work; this group of people may avoid or afraid of this new lifestyle and as a result, can not benefit from them. In fact the people of the group form a small part of society, often old men and women who have retired and unable to learn this new technology.
To sum up, the numbers of people who can not or do not want to learn and use these new innovations are not too many and it will not lead to a polarised society, logically this makes no problem.

[hooman_teh]

سارا خانم يه گوشه چشمي چيزي منو تنها نذار...

[Sara.Sh]

The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and maybe unlikely to learn. Eventually we will have a polarized society and this lead to serious social problems. (Page 83 insight into IELTS)

Nowadays people spend less time doing routine and time-consuming tasks such as paying bills, buying airplane tickets, booking train tickets and even ordering pizza. How is it possible to do all these various acts without being physically present?
Information Technology is a way to omit unnecessary and repeated bureaucracies in all kinds of work and services that governmental or private companies have served. For instance, in the past people had to stay in long queues to pay an electricity bill, this, led to losing a great deal of time. Similarly, while a plane ticket was needed, people had to do it in person something that you can simply handle by a click these days, by means of Information Technology. Internet is one of the powerful tools in Information Technology's hands for doing quick and incredible work in a short time. People can go shopping, work, find new friends and even visit old relatives who live every where around the world no matter how far they are through their web cams, as a result Internet connect people, cultures, languages, etc.
On the other hand, there are still a few people who do not know much about these great changes and how they work; this group of people may avoid or be afraid of this new lifestyle and as a result, can not take advantage of them. In fact people of a group form a small part of society, often old men and women who are retired and are unable to learn this new technology.
To sum up, the number of people who can not or do not want to learn and use these new innovations are not too many and it will not lead to a polarized society which logically makes no problem.

سلام

بابت تاخیر عذر می خوام

[hooman_teh]

Dear Sara, thanks ever so much for your help, I really appreciate it. I would be grateful if you could say roughly what score I may get in my upcoming exam in next two weeks in writing skill


In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

After graduation and before commencing a new course of study at a university, each student has to choose his course wisely in order to have a bright future; so some countries offer a one-year period to their students to work or travel and gather some useful information about their interest, I think this can be a great help.
Having one-year time for experiencing whatever you think of it and finding new aspects about it may be very useful. For instance, in my country, Iran, after graduation from high school, students take part in university entrance exam called "Konkoor", and instantly after that choose a field of study mostly with out any obvious sense about it; this is not a right process.
On the other hand, some may claim that, being far from educational environments, earning money and feeling of independency may impress youngsters and encourage them not to pursue their education in higher degrees. Although, this claim may be true to some extent, however, having a good sense of work places, travelling and adventure new countries and cultures, open new insights in front of the youngsters' eyes and even could change their lives.
As the last analysis, I believe that, thinking before choosing a university major is a crucial strategy, also its advantages are more important and significant than its negligible disadvantages; hence, I strongly believe that it can be a beneficial idea for all countries to help their high school graduated students with finding the best choice

[Sara.Sh]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

After graduation and before commencing a new course of study at a university, each student has to choose his major wisely in order to make a bright future; as a result some countries offer a one-year academic opportunity to their students to work or travel so that they can gather some useful information about their interests. I think this can be of great help.
Having a one-year chance for experiencing whatever you may think of and finding new aspects about it can be beneficial. For instance, in my country, Iran, after graduating from high school, students take part in the university entrance exam called "Konkoor", and choose a field of study mostly without having any clear idea about it which is not a suitable or even right method for continuing your education.
On the other hand, some may claim that, being far from educational environments, earning money and experiencing independency may impress youngsters and encourage them not to pursue their education in higher degrees. Although this may be true to some extent, having a good understanding about working atmospheres, traveling to and visiting new countries and cultures open new aspects of life in front of the youngsters' eyes which may even change their lives.
Finally, I believe that contemplating over your interests and goals before choosing a university major is a crucial strategy. Also its advantages are more important and significant than its negligible disadvantages; hence, I strongly believe that it can be a beneficial idea for all countries to help their high school graduated students with finding the best choice

سلام

خواهش میکنم

[hooman_teh]

Dear Sara thank you so much for your help, I can not tell you how grateful I am

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employers.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


The graphs below illustrate the most important reasons of studying amongst students with different ages and also to what extent their employers support them.
As the above graph shows younger students aged less than 26, study mostly because of their career in spite of the oldest group which 70 % of them study for their interest. Between these two age ranges, as students become older the interest in study only for their careers decreases and study out of interest become more popular.
Also the bottom graph depicts the amount of employers' support with respect to employee's age that suggests significant decreases by increasing in student's age and reaches to its lowest amount for 30-39 age group and then slightly increases up to 40 % for students over 49 year-old.
In the last analysis, by becoming older students are more interested in following their education on their interest and consequently employers try to support their younger employees more than their older ones.

[Sara.Sh]

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employers.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


The graphs below illustrate the most important reasons of studying amongst students with different ages in addition to what extent their employers support them.
As the above graph shows though younger students aged less than 26, study mostly because of their career, among the older group 70 % of them study due to their interest. Between these two age ranges, as students become older their interest in studying mainly for their careers decreases studying out of interest becomes more popular.
Also the bottom graph depicts the amount of employers' support with respect to employee's age which suggests significant decreases by increasing in student's age and reaches its lowest amount for 30-39 age groups and then slightly increases up to 40 % for students over 49 year-old.
In the last analysis, older students are more interested in following their education on their interest and consequently employers try to support their younger employees more than their older ones.