Please Revise My Essay

[hooman_teh]

سلام
خواهش میکنم

این دو مورد را پاسخ بدید من منظورتون را بهتر متوجه میشم

1 .چرا از زمان آینده استفاده کردین؟
2. تا جایی که من اطلاع دارم ایفل 3 طبقه یا بهتر بگم سه صحن داره شما چرا نوشتید 5 تا؟

Hi dear Sara, it was about a schematic plan of a project which is going to be built by France under Eiffel Tower, and it will have 5 underground floors,and engineers are working day and night to finalize its design. actually it was one of my topics for Task 1 of IELTS, in book named Insight into IELTS extra, sorry I should have mentioned it

[Sara.Sh]

Eiffel Tower is located in Parc du Champ de Mars, Paris. This tower is about 324 meters high and is about 10100 tones. Eiffel has two observation platforms: the first and the second platform with 57 m and 115 m height respectively with the total number of 1665 steps.
According to the schematic plan of the project, apparently this structure will have five stories. From the top, the first floor is allocated to ticket office, shops and restaurants are in the second level, then there will be a cinema and a museum on the third floor, and finally the forth and the fifth levels are assigned to become parking spaces. Moreover, interestingly enough the ceiling will be out of glass. In addition to the mentioned alterations, two lifts are designed to help the visitors moving between different floors

[hooman_teh]

I do appreciate your kindness and thank both of you so much, my beloved friend Sara and my new friend WAY2GO(I am not sure is this sentence grammatically correct or not but thanks anyway and please keep up the good work ;D)

[hooman_teh]

Dear friends thanks for your help here is another one. You know, I think my writing is demoting day after day and I do not know why

Nowadays, there are several kinds of media available, for example, television channels, radio stations, movies, books which are the oldest ones, and so on. All these media have upsides and downsides; therefore, no one can say which one is the most convenient one.
First of all, I would like to take a look at television as the most popular medium these days. Watching TV has many advantages, such as, enjoying your spare time by watching various humorous programmes, getting familiar with new technologies and news all over the world, etc, with spending a few hours on it. Next we have radio- a medium which has lost its popularity dramatically after invention of television; however, people still enjoy listening to music and news broadcasting from radio stations in their cars in traffic jams. The last medium that I want to go through, is book- a traditional kind of study and less interesting by comparison with new media, but still alive.
Despite being beneficial, each of the above medium has its especial inconvenience. Let us start with books. Some youngsters think that reading a book is a laborious work and they try to avoid it. I also think it is very time consuming and boring. On the other hand, when we examine radio stations not having visual effects make it less important and less favourable than TV for most of men and women. As well as these two media, television has its issues. Some parents are afraid of its effects on their children.
In conclusion, generally we can nominate television as the medium which affect human beings more than the others.

[Sara.Sh]

Nowadays, there are several kinds of available media, for example, television channels, radio stations, movies, books which are the oldest ones, and so on. All these media have advantages and disadvantages; therefore, no one can say which one is the most proper one.
First of all, I would like to take a look at television as the most popular medium these days. Watching TV has many advantages, such as, enjoying your spare time by watching various humorous programs, getting familiar with new technologies and news from all over the world, etc, with only spending a few hours on it. Next we have radio- a medium which has lost its popularity dramatically after the invention of television; however, people still enjoy listening to music and news broadcasting from radio stations in their cars while in traffic jams. The last medium that I want to mention is book- a traditional way for studying and less interesting comparing to new media, but still alive.
Despite being beneficial, each of the above media has its disadvantages. Let us start with books. Some youngsters think that reading a book is a laborious task and they try to avoid it as much as possible. I also think it is very time consuming and boring. On the other hand, radio stations, not having visual effects, are less important and even less favorable than TV for most men and women. Likewise, television has its own issues. Some parents are afraid of its possible negative effects on their children’s behavior.
Considering all the above mentioned media, we can nominate television as the medium which might affect human beings more than any other means of communication.

سلام
دو تا مطلب:

1. من فکر می کنم کتاب تو این دسته بندی قرار نمی گیره.
2. برای نتیجه گیریتون دلایل کافی ارائه نکردید. منظورم خط آخره

[hooman_teh]

Thanks again dear Sara

The table depicts some information about six family types and the percentage of poverty among them in Australia, in 1999.
As the table illustrates, the lowest amount of poverty refers to elderly couples with only 4 per cent, on the contrary, we have sole parents with the greatest poor population who constitutes 21 per cent of Australians. Also poverty is rare between single aged men and women since just 6 per cent of them are poor.
In addition to these, amazingly the amount of single people with no children who live in poverty is by a large difference higher than couples with no children; maybe because both husband and wife work to afford their daily expenses.
In the last analysis, the figures from the table indicate that most of sole parents live below poverty line and aged couples are the least poor people in Australia in 1999.

[Sara.Sh]

The table depicts some information about six family types and the percentage of poverty among them in Australia, in 1999.
As the table illustrates, the lowest amount of poverty refers to the elderly couples with only 4 per cent, on the contrary, we have sole parents with the greatest poor population who constitute 21 per cent of the Australians. Also poverty is rare among single aged men and women: just 6 per cent of them are poor.
In addition, amazingly the amount of single people with no children who live in poverty is by a large difference higher than couples with no children; maybe because both husband and wife work to afford their daily expenses.
In the last analysis, the figures from the table indicate that most sole parents lived below the poverty line and the aged couples were the least poor people in Australia in 1999

سلام
خواهش می کنم. این بار اشکالاتتون بسیار کم بود.

[hooman_teh]

Dear Sara thanks for your compliment, you always inspire me

Marriage is one of the landmarks in everyone's life, a wisely choice may bring you happiness and luck while a bad one will devastate you vice versa; therefore people try to do their best in finding their partners. Meanwhile, parents are the most worried ones and they try to guide their children towards the best choice; however in some countries they force their children not just guide them.
In some parts of the world marriage is under supervision of parents and youngsters do not have the right to choose their mate freely. This notion has some advantages and of course lots of disadvantages. On one hand, since parents love their children and wish them happiness and success they try to find someone who matches with their children both physically and spiritually. They passed a lot of ups and downs in their lives and have useful experiences, so their choice is indeed base on real life issues. On the other hand, it is difficult for a young boy/ girl to be forced to marry with whom he/ she does not know and there is no love between them.
In developed countries, it is the most ridiculous idea that you can not choose your wife / husband on your own and the parent dictate you whom to choose. People in these countries, find their partners to marry with, and then they inform their parents about it.
This kind of marriage as well as the first one has pros and cons. Critics contend that this method is responsible for the increasing rates of divorce in the countries these days. On the contrary, others believe that everyone should have the right to decide for his/ her life.
In the last conclusion, I myself believe that we should go something between these two ideas, i.e. a personal choice with parents' recommendation and it might be the best case.

[Sara.Sh]

Marriage is one of the landmarks in everyone's life, a wisely choice may bring you happiness and luck while a bad one will devastate you and your life; therefore people try to do their best in finding their partners who matches them most. Meanwhile, parents are the most worried ones and try to guide their children towards the best choice; however in some countries parents force their children rather than guiding them.
In some parts of the world marriage is under the supervision of parents and youngsters do not have the right to choose their partners freely. This notion has some advantages alongside many disadvantages. On the one hand, since parents love their children and wish them happiness and success they try to find someone who matches with their child both physically and spiritually. They have experienced a lot of ups and downs in their lives and have useful experiences, so their choice is indeed based on real life issues. On the other hand, it is difficult for a young boy/ girl to be forced to marry with someone whom he/ she does not know and without loving each other initially.
In developed countries, it is the most ridiculous idea that you cannot choose your wife / husband on your own and the parents dictate you whom to choose. People in these countries find their partners to marry with, and then they inform their parents about it.
This kind of marriage as well as the first one has both pros and cons. Critics contend that this method results in the increasing rates of divorce in countries these days. On the contrary, others believe that everyone should have the right to decide for his/ her life.
All in all, I believe that we should choose a midway between these two ideas, i.e. a personal choice with parents' recommendation which might be the best case.

[hooman_teh]

Hi Sara I think someone has blocked my previous topic and has put all previous posts here I do not know why, if you know I would be grateful if you would inform me about that, many thanks again for helping me here is another, I need lots of help especially with this kind of topics,I think this essay is terribly full of mistakes hope you help me to tackle this like the others.

The top diagram shows the life cycle of the silkworm, and the bottom one illustrates different stages in the manufacturing of silk cloths.
From the top graph we can see that: eggs are laid and after a 10-day period silkworm larva will be born. These larvae eat mulberry leaf as a source of food and after four to six weeks silk threads are made by the larvae. The next stage for the larvae is to become cocoon that takes about 3 to 8 days time. At last, each cocoon is changed to a moth after 16 days.
The bottom graph shows the stages of producing silk cloth. In the first step, cocoons should be selected. After selection, they are boiled in water, then they are unwounded and that makes a 300-900 metre long thread. In the next step, the thread is woven and finally the woven cloth is dyed.