Please Revise My Essay

**hooman_teh** · October 17th, 2008 02:47 PM

با سلام دوست عزیز mAhdi ببخشید بعضی وقتها بر خلاف مقررات تشکر کردم ولی واقعا" چطور میشه محبتی که سارا خانم به همه بچه ها داره رو در نظر نگرفت.من از شما به خاطر اینکه به این موضوع اشاره کردید هم تشکر میکنم( هرچند بر خلاف مقرراته) ولی باید به 1 طریقی به دوستایی که وقت میذارن و کمک میکنن بگیم که ازشون ممنونیم و می دونیم که دارن به ما کمک می کنن.

**somayehpoly** · January 13th, 2009 10:24 AM

hi . please revise my essay as soon as possible. I have a exam on Jan. 31th. Please help.

Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the flat that I rented a few months ago. Four months ago that I rented the accommodation, you promised to provide me a full furniture flat. Unfortunately after settlement I found several problems with the furniture. First of all, the kitchen faucet is out of work and water is always dropping through the sink. Secondly the fridge is too old and it makes lots of noise and it disturbs us especially at nights. Another problem is that the air conditioner has broken and the house gets really cold during the nights. I was very surprised to see a new-builted flat with this high rental price has such big problems. I am very disappointed with the flat I have rented. Therefore I expect you to repair the above mentioned furniture ASAP, or I will be forced to stop my payments to you.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely

**Amir Khan** · January 13th, 2009 01:13 PM

نوشته اصلی توسط somayehpoly

hi . please revise my essay as soon as possible. I have a exam on Jan. 31th. Please help.

Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the flat which I rented a few months ago. About Four months ago when after long search I rented this flas, I was supposed to have a neat, cosy flatbut Unfortunately after some days, I found several problems with the flat. First of all, the kitchen faucet does not work properly and the water is always dropping through the sink. Secondly, the fridge is too old and it makes too much noise and esepecially at night it really disturbs me. There is also some problem with the air conditioner; it has broken and the house gets really cold during the nights. It is really astonishing to see a new built flat with this high rent has such big problems. I am very disappointed with the flat and I expect you to fix the mentioned problems as soon as possible., .

I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely

**somayehpoly** · January 13th, 2009 03:35 PM

please revise my essay

Dear Mr. Smith,
I am one of your students and I am writing in regard to the English course that I have this semester. I’m afraid to say that I can’t continue studying this term.

I am working full time in a business company and these days due to the New Year holidays my work has became harder and I should stay at work longer and even sometime until midnight. So some days I can’t take part in the classes and the other days I am really tired to study. To overcome this problem I am looking for a part time job, but it may take ages. So I decided to drop out studying this term.

I understand that you have managed your time and canceling the class may resent you, but I hope you accept my apology and let me to have a class with you in the next semester.

I look forward to hearing from you at your proper time.
Yours sincerely,

**ghaasem** · April 13th, 2009 10:58 PM

In general, four typical causes are responsible for car accidents: human faults, inappropriate traffic rules, substandard roads and intentional or unintentional (unknowing) rule breaking. Minimizing car accidents requires eliminating these factors as much as possible.
Considering the first item, human faults, new efforts have been made to lessen them. Cars have been equipped with intelligent devices able to alarm the dangers such as: insufficient distance to the front car or any other objects at a certain speed or driving over the legal speed and so on. Although in some cases useful, much more should be done to improve these instruments.
Not being less important, traffic rules play almost the main role in directing the traffic, hence should be in such a manner guaranteeing easier driving, swifter and more secured traffic. Also they should be simple, clear and applicable.
As a third item, substandard roads also enhance the risk of accidents. This includes several issues such as those related to road engineering, efficient usage of traffic signs, etc.
Ultimately accidents happen as a result of disobeying the rules intentionally or unintentionally (unknowingly). While applying more effective ways of educating people the rules can be an efficient solution for the latter, the former should be approached by heavier punishments and fines of disobey dance.
Although realistically not possible to decrease the car accidents to a zero rate, especially because of the human factor, previous practices and evidences from developed countries indicates that implementing these methods and procedures significantly reduces accidents.

**ghaasem** · May 4th, 2009 03:41 PM

please!

**Robin** · May 4th, 2009 04:36 PM

نوشته اصلی توسط ghaasem

please!

Here is your revised essay.

In general, four typical causes are responsible for car accidents: human faults mistakes, inappropriate traffic rules, substandard roads and intentional or unintentional (unknowing) rule breaking. Minimizing car accidents requires eliminating these factors as much as possible.
Considering the first item, human faults mistakes, new efforts have been made to lessen them. Cars have been equipped with intelligent devices able to alarm the driver about the dangers such as: insufficient distance to the front car or any other objects at a certain speed or , driving over the legal allowable speed and so on. Although these devices can in some cases be useful, much more should be done to improve these instruments.
Not being less important, traffic rules play almost the main role in directing the traffic, hence they should be devised in such a manner guaranteeing that gurantee easier driving, swifter and more secured secure traffic. Also they should be simple, clear and applicable.
As a third item, substandard roads also enhance the risk of accidents. This includes involves several issues such as those related to road engineering, efficient usage of traffic signs, etc.
Ultimately accidents happen as a result of disobeying the rules intentionally or unintentionally (unknowingly). While applying more effective ways of educating people aboutthe rules can be an efficient solution for the latter, the former should be approached by heavier punishments and fines of for disobediance disobey dance.
Although realistically it is not possible to decrease the car accidents to a zero rate, especially because of the human factor, previous practices and evidences from developed countries indicates that implementing these methods and procedures significantly reduces accidents

phrases that are marked in purple, are the structures that seem unfamiliar to me. I am not sure if they are wrong, but they seem wierd.

good luck with your exam.