نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[sarahphysics]

سلام دوستان عزیز میشه نظرتون رو در مورد این رایتینگ بدید.
پیشاپیش ممنونم.


Individual learning vs. group learning

Learning process is a crucial subject which is studied these days.as a sequence, many scientists have researched about how can learning be more efficient? Truly, an appropriate method of learning could help people in all aspects of life. Since Individual learning and group learning which will be discussed in this essay, generally are the most concern for people and particularly for parents. Depending upon personal experiences, personality traits, and experimental concerns I find that some people hold the idea of group learning meanwhile, others pretend to do agree with individual learning. However, I hold the view that group learning is more efficient vs. individual learning. There are several easily identifiable reasons for the claim that I am keen on mentioning two of them.
Firstly, in general, in groups everybody contributes her/his ideas. And as a member of the groups you can come up with new ideas. For instance, in a circle of friends, you may talk about different issues, at the same time, you can hear many different attitudes and see the subject as their points of view. Another example to illustrate the benefits of it is that when members get stuck in a new problem, unfortunately they can talk over their problem with their partners in the group. Probably, they are not experienced enough to deal with unfamiliar set of problems.
Secondly, in groups people can make a company with others and it is more interesting. All of the students may be tired of studying or learning process and a groups could encourage them to learn more and more. What I am trying to say is that there has been a sense of competition in groups. And students or members feel inclination to be more active in groups. For instance, there were some associations in our university. Last semester I participated in some of which are about my major. Unbelievably, I got much more done in my lessons as a result I got excellent grade in my courses.

To sum up, at first blush it seemed quiet debatable to draw a conclusion that learning in groups is better or not. But it is crystal clear that the advantages of it are much greater than learning individually as I mentioned in essay.so to the best of my knowledge learning in groups is more efficiently.

[Tarkan78]

Hi friend
Thanks for the essay
I skimmed your essay and would like to encourage you to think about the following hints

Your work is rather hard to understand as it has several syntactic & grammatical mistakes. Plus your word selection is not well and it means you have to broaden your active En words effectively and sufficiently. Plz read more and memorize new words as much as possible, and then try to use them repeatedly in your essays
Read more grammar books since it seems your grammar still needs to be improved
Read English essays more and more, in particular TOEFL essays available on different books! I'd like to suggest you "Answers to All TOEFL Essay Questions" which was really productive book for me when preparing for the test. The book titled above contains numerous standard essays whose scores are all 6 out of 6. I'm sure it works very well to you

Hope the comments could be beneficial
Good wishes

سلام دوستان عزیز میشه نظرتون رو در مورد این رایتینگ بدید.
پیشاپیش ممنونم.


Individual learning vs. group learning

Learning process is a crucial subject which is studied these days.as a sequence, many scientists have researched about how can learning be more efficient? Truly, an appropriate method of learning could help people in all aspects of life. Since Individual learning and group learning which will be discussed in this essay, generally are the most concern for people and particularly for parents. Depending upon personal experiences, personality traits, and experimental concerns I find that some people hold the idea of group learning meanwhile, others pretend to do agree with individual learning. However, I hold the view that group learning is more efficient vs. individual learning. There are several easily identifiable reasons for the claim that I am keen on mentioning two of them.
Firstly, in general, in groups everybody contributes her/his ideas. And as a member of the groups you can come up with new ideas. For instance, in a circle of friends, you may talk about different issues, at the same time, you can hear many different attitudes and see the subject as their points of view. Another example to illustrate the benefits of it is that when members get stuck in a new problem, unfortunately they can talk over their problem with their partners in the group. Probably, they are not experienced enough to deal with unfamiliar set of problems.
Secondly, in groups people can make a company with others and it is more interesting. All of the students may be tired of studying or learning process and a groups could encourage them to learn more and more. What I am trying to say is that there has been a sense of competition in groups. And students or members feel inclination to be more active in groups. For instance, there were some associations in our university. Last semester I participated in some of which are about my major. Unbelievably, I got much more done in my lessons as a result I got excellent grade in my courses.

To sum up, at first blush it seemed quiet debatable to draw a conclusion that learning in groups is better or not. But it is crystal clear that the advantages of it are much greater than learning individually as I mentioned in essay.so to the best of my knowledge learning in groups is more efficiently.

[sarahphysics]

Hi friend
Thanks for the essay
I skimmed your essay and would like to encourage you to think about the following hints

Your work is rather hard to understand as it has several syntactic & grammatical mistakes. Plus your word selection is not well and it means you have to broaden your active En words effectively and sufficiently. Plz read more and memorize new words as much as possible, and then try to use them repeatedly in your essays
Read more grammar books since it seems your grammar still needs to be improved
Read English essays more and more, in particular TOEFL essays available on different books! I'd like to suggest you "Answers to All TOEFL Essay Questions" which was really productive book for me when preparing for the test. The book titled above contains numerous standard essays whose scores are all 6 out of 6. I'm sure it works very well to you

Hope the comments could be beneficial
Good wishes

ممنون از وقتی که گذاشتید.میشه ایرادای خیلی ناجورش رو بگید؟؟؟
میدونم خوب نیست اما نمیدونم دقیقا کجاست ایراداش.

[Souri_RS]

Thank you for your post, please consider that each skillful member in this eminent forum will help you in order to improve your English skill. Therefore please be patient.
I am not in the position to revise your essay profoundly and expeditiously; however I have some concerns which can be beneficial in order to improve your essay.
Some major issues:
Too low used vocabulary. You should make use of a broad spectrum of words.
Too low the number of vocabulary. You should write above 400-450 words..
Too wrong words (check your spelling). Since a computer will also examine your score, it will affect your score adversely.
Too wrong grammar defects. I will provide some wrong structures in order to give you some indication of the level of these deficiencies,
We would then though (think) about our behavior(s) and asked (ask) ourself (ourselves) (whether they were the best choice)? (Why best choice? I cannot sense a relationship between behaviors and choices; maybe we can use :”whether we behaved in a good way or not?”
I think it is more appropriate for you to read “grammar in use book, published by Cambridge” to improve your grammar.

There is serious disorganization and underdevelopment. You should largely improve your writing skill.
Best wishes,

[vahabr1987]

Thank you for your post, please consider that each skillful member in this eminent forum will help you in order to improve your English skill. Therefore please be patient.
I am not in the position to revise your essay profoundly and expeditiously; however I have some concerns which can be beneficial in order to improve your essay.
Some major issues:
Too low used vocabulary. You should make use of a broad spectrum of words(I) i.
Too low the number of vocabulary[II]. You should write above 400-450 words..
Too wrong words[III] (check your spelling). Since a computer will[IV] also examine your score[V], it will affect your score adversely.
Too wrong grammar defects. I will provide some wrong structures in order to give you some indication of the level of these deficiencies,
We would then though (think) about our behavior(s)[VI] and asked (ask) ourself (ourselves) (whether they were the best choice)? (Why best choice? I cannot sense a relationship between behaviors and choices; maybe we can use :”whether we behaved in a good way or not[VII]t?”
I think it is more appropriate for you to read “grammar in use book, published by Cambridge” to improve your grammar.

There is serious disorganization[VIII] and underdevelopment. You should largely improve your writing skill.
Best wishes,

Dear Sour_RS
I want to clarify your mistakes and rewrite your post as well
Your range of vocabulary is obviously too low and you have to use a wide range of vocabularies related to the subject [ I
Your essay is under-length and you should obey the minimum length[II.
Too many wrong words (so check your dictation[III
since a machine also examines your essay[IV
Behaviour is an uncountable noun and you can't make it plural, be careful about this fatal error you have made.[VI
OR NOT, after whether is an informal structure and you should avoid using it, for more information check a grammar reference. [VII
your essay is seriously disorganized.[VIII

[bahargraviton]

یعنی چنین متنی 21 می شه نمرش؟؟؟؟

[shivajab]

29 نمونه رایتینگ تصحیح شده برای استفاده دوستان. (دو مجموعه ی 16 و 13 تایی مجزا)
موضوع:

do you agree or disagree? people behave differently when they wear different clothes. do you agree that different cloth can influence the way people behave?

[shivajab]

6 نمونه رایتینگ تصحیح شده.
do you agree or disagree: progress is always good.

[shanyj]

سلام دوستان.من امتحانم نزدیکه، ممنون میشم یه نفر رایتینگمو بخونه و نظرشو بگه. من نمره خیلی بالا میخوام، لطفا بگین چه موردی رو باید تقویت کنم تو رایتینگام.مرسی
In today’s world it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.


With the advent of the age of technology the whole world seem to be moving forward in an unprecedented and ever increasing pace making it difficult for mankind with his restricted abilities and resources to keep up with its pace. In this state of affairs, some emphasis on the importance of working quickly and taking the risks of errors in the result; meanwhile, others advocate slow and accurate work. From my vantage point the latter is by far more tenable of a view.
First and foremost, in some fields of technology there lies such a desperate need for accuracy and caution which hardly leaves space for mistakes. Any minuscule oversight in these delicate matters would result in unimaginable catastrophe and would have devastating consequences. Work fields involving human health are foremost among them, since they can’t afford a single slip. Take the example of Chernobyl disaster for instance, where a simple human mistake resulted in a tremendous catastrophe affecting the lives of thousands of innocent humans.
Additionally, given the huge competition among different businesses and agencies in today’s materialistic and fast-paced world, it’s completely irrational to let any error be in your work as it would serve as a privilege to your numerous potential rivals. In an automobile manufacturing corporation for instance, any error in the work, as prone to cause an unpredictably dire effect on the final result, is possible to make the entire company susceptible to be denigrated by the consumers and rivals.
Citing the great competition among businesses the world over, it’s not the quantity that matters anymore but the quality of the products and services. Consequently, the consumers on the one hand and the owners of enterprises on the other hand, seek high quality and error-free work instead of fast and error-prone ones.
To sum up, considering the probable problems posing as a ramification of working fast and inaccurate, the advantages of a slow but seamless work by far outweigh the pros of doing a quick job which may lead to unforeseen and in times irreparable difficulties.

[shanyj]

A matter of concern turning into an obsession for a great many parents is how to bring up their children so that they can enter the society as well-adjusted adults. I hardly believe that encouraging teenage children to take a part time job would be in harmony whit the goal the parents seek.
To begin with, in order to prepare to enter the community and construct for oneself a visible identity as a competent individual, children need to concentrate on their education. Spending their valuable time on working in their teenage years, children would be deprived of their very basic right of receiving a proper education. Their job would certainly interfere with their studies and consequently will damage the necessary educational skills and abilities they could acquire due to the lack of adequate time for school assignments.
In addition, children of this age are by no means physically capable of taking such responsibility as workforce. Handling the enormous pressure of the issues pertaining to the work environment is admittedly beyond the ability of a young person of that age. Placing the huge responsibility of taking care of a job’s obligation along with attending the school and doing it’s consequent duties will definitely damage the child’s health condition.
Moreover, adolescence is the most awkward stage of one’s life due to the enormous changes it brings about. Going through these huge changes and dealing with its undesirable consequences, children need the intense attention and care of their parents. It is the most irrelevant and irresponsible action of parents to leave these vulnerable creatures in such a harsh world. Parents would be more appreciated if they take care of their children and try to meet their emotional needs until they successfully pass this sensitive stage of life and develop a healthy and strong personality.
To put everything in a nut shell, because of the sensibility of the adolescence and its particular conditions, I assert that obliging children to take a part time job, would not serve as a preparation for their adulthood.