Salam and thanks for the essay. The following notes are of crucial importance
The main weakness of the current essay is its grammar (e.g. the last sentence of your third paragraph); check your grammar with penetrating eyes. Do not try using short sentence; instead, join them through the appropriate connections such as furthermore, on the other hand, plus, on the contrary and so forth. At the moment, your paragraphs are rather short
Write more! Your are asked to explain more both in your introduction and in your body paragraphs
Be careful about articles. For example, the missing of the article "the" is especially disturbing
Again, punctuation has to be done better
One more thing on which you have to focus and take a little bit more attention is your style in writing. You are well aware that Writing is different from Speaking. When reviewing your essay, one might feel that he/she is not ready, but is listening. For instance, "one might say" or "one might argue" are mostly common in spoken language not in written language
Wish you success

نوشته اصلی توسط
ITALY2006
Universities should accept equall numbers of male and female students in every subject.
to what extent do you agree or dissagree.
In recent years, with increasing in the number of universities, more people have succeeded to enroll in these educational centres. Whether men and women should study at same courses has sparked heated debate. In my opinion, gender differences should be considered in choosing scientific subjects.
It is undeniable that most university subjects needs people with special features. For instance, civil and building courses which deal with outdoor activities and physical ability, doesnt suits women. Moreover, job chances and economic opportunities are men-oriented so it is more likely that women suffer unemployment after graduation. Take an example, most of job opportunities in public and governmental sectors employ more men than women. Thereby, if universities continue to neglect of differences between both gender. It is highly possible that femal unemployment will rise among educated people in long term.136
One might argue that equal acceptance of male and female students in universities is a sign of a democratic and fair society and it removes existing discrepancies that hurt woman for long time. This viewpoint is flawed. In fact radical causes of gender inequity rooted in cultural values and traditional beliefs which hardly change. People may continue to study at universities, but they do not think of changing fundamental belief and negative assumption toward women. So the effect of educational equity maybe limited and narrower than expected.
According to above analysis, one can say that the equal accessibility of both gender to university course would not benefit women and society as whole. It may hamper the economy of country or does not suit women characteristics and natural abilities. It would be better to cope with society gender imbalances through frequent advertisement or media debates.
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