نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[Saman_R]

Dear Al2miN,
I corrected your essay. It is with a great regret that your essay suffers from a lot of mistakes. But, there is no point in worrying over things you can't change.
You can get easily through this. If you practice a lots, you'll be able to write well.
I think those grammatical mistakes in which you are stuck, can be broken down less than a month, by reading Grammar in Use.

GOOD LUCK

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and develop your essay.


Learning is an essential need for humans. Some people think learning by themselves is better and others think that it is better to have a guide or teacher. I am agree with they who think have a teacher is better. I feel this way for two main reasons. First, learning is more by teaching with a teacher. Second, teachers can teach better and quickly. For these reasons, I feel that it can be a logical and better choice for me.

First, acquisition from a teacher is more. Interacting with a teacher gives more information. I remember that when I was a student, sometimes I had to learn by myself. I felt to need a guide who has more knowledge about my course, and answers to my questions. For example, when I tried to learn mathematical at home, I faced with many problems and questions that was boring for me. Because, I did not know how I could solve those. Sometimes I didn’t learn completely. Moreover, teachers have more knowledge. They spend a lot of time for studying and teaching on their course which are taught by them. They have a lot experiences of education and teaching techniques. They can solve many problems which are related with learning and convey more information to me.

Second, teachers can teach better and learning is quickly. Teaching is teachers’ job, and after a long time to teach, they have more ways to teach better. For instance, I could not learn a subject on my course. I spent a lot of time to learn it, but finally I could not learn it, and I asked about it of my teachers. He taught me it by a simple example. In addition, questioning is a way for educating. When I have a teacher for my learning, many of questions are asked. I can learn better when I have somebody who solves my problems. Furthermore, Teachers know how they should motivate students to learn better. I remember when who my teacher encourage me to asked questions about some problems. I had to think and I was excited me to study better.

To sum it up, I feel that learning with a teacher is the best way to instruct for me. Because I am learned more by a teacher, and they can teach better. I believe that there really is no better way to learn for me.

سلام ممنون میشم نظرات شما رو بدونم من چند ماه دیگه باید امتحان بدم. جدا از مشکلات گرامری نظرتون درباره کلیات مفهموی متن و انسجامش رو هم بگید خیلی لطف بزرگی کردید. با سپاس

[biocoder]

Hi dear friends
Please check out my essay then give me your all of suggestions,in fact,its subject belongs to TPO 2 independence writing task
Sincerely

http://s6.picofile.com/file/82039586...ting.docx.html

[Saman_R]

It is certainly one of the most outstanding integrated-writings I've ever read. I've expressed my comments and suggestions you can find it attached.
I hope you consider them helpful.
GOOD LUCK

سلام. این مربوط به قسمت اینتگریتد هست و بدون تغییر همون طوریه که تو نرم افزار نوشتم ممنون میشم نظرتون رو بگید. .

The professors doesn't agree that the new plan for working 4 days a week, will have the mentioned effects in the reading. He raises some specific concerns for each one of the improvements predicted, and repudiate them. Generally, he believes the idea is underdevolped and in further investigation the flaws will be evident.

First of all, he thinks that this plan not only has no positive impact on the company's profit, it will actually decrease it. Since when the workload is reduced, the company has to hire new employees and this will need futher investment, because the new clerks need training and they also should cover their health insurance. In addition to that, expenses like health insurance, are totally irrelevant the amount of hour an employee works and need to be provided regardless.

Further more, having more employees the company should also buy new equipments such as desks and computers to accommodate the needs of the larger employee population. He also believes that maybe adminstratives in the company, will expect the 4days working employeess, to be as productive as the traditional clerks, thus leading them to be under more pressure and stressful in their own jobs, and consequently further decreasing their job satisfaction.

Last but not the least, he thinks it's being too optimistic to think that employees will certainly benefit from fewer work hours, since their employers might ask them to stay overtime to do their jobs, because they think they are not efficient enough. So maybe they don't actually get the chance to spend more quality time with their families and improve their lifestyle and happiness in their personal life.

[Saman_R]

I really enjoy reading your essays. You can find my comments and suggestions through pdf, attached.
GOOD LUCK

این یکی هم مشابه وضعیت قبلی ، برای قسمت مستقل نوشتم. ممنون میشم ایراداتش رو بگید
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
.
We live in a world, replete with people who suffer from obesity who consequently are struggling with medical condition that not only deteriorates their quality of life, but also burden the economy because of the eminent costs related to these diseases.

As the famous saying states, prevention is always better than cure, and the prevention in this case is, trying to encourage more people to take part in physical activities like sports , and somehow incorporate excercizing into their daily life. Thus I believe it is equally imortant to invest and put emphasis on sport activities, as we do on matters like quality of education, especially in an institution as widespread and ubiquitous as college, that encompasses the majority of the people in the society.

Besides that, as it has been noted by many scholars thoroughout history, physical activity also improves the mental health and improves the overall satisfacion people get from their life. This is due to some biological causes, such as the release of chemical like endorphins which makes you happier, and also other reason namely that, since doing physical activities also usually is tantamount to being more outgoing and spending more times with others, thus being less prone to clinical depression, which is another critical issue in today's society.

As a side note, I also believe that physical activity and social gathering will give the students a more comprehensive view of life, one which be later really helpful for the rest of their lives. For example, they get the oppurtunity to be involved in a larger circle of activities like writing a journal, playing a theather and managing an association, that will help them identify their strengths and capabilities and also gain experience in areas like interpersonal skills that are vital to their ability to be a prosperous and useful member of their societies. Further more, they also learn that how to overcome obstacles they will probably encounter frequently later in life, by first handling a lighter version of them in college life, like handling how to manage an angry member of the play group efficiently, without hurting him/her and their selves.

To sum it up, I strongly believe in the power of social and sport activities in improving the experience of college student and I advocate the view of putting equal emphasis on these matters, and decrease our obsession with the curriculum and education standards.

[mani_faz]

Hi, everyone. I almost feel bad posting another writing right after getting the first one corrected, but I need to improve my writing any way. There were 7 spelling problems and I've fixed them for better readability. This is for integrated task.

The professor believes working collectively on projects in a company, is not after all a really brilliant idea. He express his opposition using an example of a company, which deployed this method and regretted it afterwards because of adverse results.


It can be deduced from the reading, that working in groups will enhance the productivity of the organization, since group members contribute moderately equally to the project's goal, and as a consequence, finish the task faster. But in contrast to that, the lecturer states that, the members of the group can be divided into two large parts, some of them are "free riders", who contribute a negligible amount to the process, and the other group, the over productive ones who do most of the work. He clearly points out that while free loaders are not entitled to be recognized for their efforts, they still get their benefits in the name of group.

On the other hand, the over-accomplishers are not content about their job since they are putting a lot of energy and in return receive no reputation for their hard work, since every success is attributed to the group as a whole, contrary to what the reading suggests, and this will decrease their enthusiasm and spirits.


Furthermore, in the reading it is assumed that group work improve the amount of times required for each project, but that does not seem to be the case. Because in reality, it will take a tremendous amount of time for group members to reach consensus. In addition to that, the group dynamics prevent some individuals from ever contributing their ideas, simply because of the fact, that some influencers in the group chiefly determine the results. This phenomena also decreases the opportunity for some truly creative ideas to be implemented, because the influencers who have the consensus of most people, repudiate these ideas. So in conclusion, it is highly probable that some risky decision are never taken. At last, no one takes responsibility for decisions made, since every one blames it on the group consensus.

[Saman_R]

It is not the UN resolution, hon. You can paste this right here.
Joke aside, you are very professional in writing. I think you should publish your essay somewhere, after obviating those trivial flaws that can be beheld in the pdf, attached.
GOOD LUCK

Hi dear friends
Please check out my essay then give me your all of suggestions,in fact,its subject belongs to TPO 2 independence writing task
Sincerely

http://s6.picofile.com/file/82039586...ting.docx.html

[mani_faz]

This one is for independent task.I've corrected 7 spelling errors. Thanks in advance

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.



I strongly believe that opting for the truth, is the best strategy one should take in any social interaction, or as the famous proverb promises "honesty can go a long way". There are numerous psychological and practical factors that make us humans, more susceptible to being dishonest and mendacious. Unfortunately we live in a world, where the majority of resources are severely restricted, and at the same time, we want to lead a prosperous life, so at times, we might feel like telling lies is an inevitable option. But nevertheless, I still advocate probity and candor, pertinent to some reasons I will go further into below.

Although it might be a little hard to discern at first, we are all striving for solace and comfort in life, and having an easy conscious definitely paves the way for us to reach that equanimity. This is especially critical in our close relationship, i.e our friendships and families, since we spend most of our time with them.

Furthermore, from a more holistic view, if every member of the society, is honest in his/her interactions, this will certainly lead the society to flourish as a whole. So consider university, as one of the most prevalent social institution in communities, and now suppose that students are honest about their homework and never try to cheat in exams and just present their own work. Not only, they'll be more successful later because they are realistic about their abilities and potentials, but they also feel more comfortable before the exams because they've better mastered the materials as a result.

On a larger scale, we might also consider government officials who are candor and straightforward about the problems existing in the society. This honesty will improve a positive culture, the effects of which, includes a lucid understanding of the issues that will translate into more clear and effective solutions, which if deployed, will benefit all members of the community.


To sum it up, being honest can improve and enhance both the quality of life in a personal scale and at the same time, provide benefits for the larger social institutions. That's why I believe that we should move toward being more honest in our relationships
it all members of the community.
.

[nazhinee]

سلام... ممنون میشم یه نگاهی بندازین... این اولین رایتینگ من هست و تازه واردم ... لطفا خیلی بهم سخت نگیرین ....
تسک دو تی پی او شش
با سوال
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.
Passing time is one of the most important part of human kind lifestyle. As through it, lots of things change and affect directly or even indirectly on the way we live. Although some thinks today's life is much easier and more comfortable than in the past, some does not believe it. In my point of view, nowadays life is more easier and comfortable compare to my grandparents' childish. May be lots of reason can prove my opinion; Three of those are: modern inventions and technologies have made everything easy. Healthcare improved and as a result we live more comfortable. At last social improvements help lead everyone to a better life.
The main aspect to point out is that new inventions vastly affect our lives. In this case, technologies help every member of family and bring them comfortability. As you can see, mothers can easily handle a large party without further difficulties. Dish washers wash the dishes, Microwaves heat or even cook meals, and you say it. As another example, the son of the family, which is a college student, just reclining his seat and surfing over the internet to prepare his research paper. Think of this 100 years ago, he would go to library had a lot of difficulty finding books and so on. So, I think technologies make our lives much easier by changing the way we do things.
Another reason for that is about improving health care services. In the past lack of healthy environments, antibiotics, and equipped hospitals have major effects on people life and just a little sickness could disrupt a whole family. For instance, in those years heart problems might readily lead to death. But now, heart surgeries are very common. As a result of healthcare issues we can easily pass many sickness difficulties just because we live in recent years.
Finally, I think these days’ people are more social than any other time and care more about each other. In a social life everyone wants to help others, so living can be more comfortable. For example, imagine Japan Sonami. They were virtually wretched. But one things help them to back to everyday life, and that was the world community helps. Everyone around the world wanted to help them. Even a poor Asian or African country may help, just because world's people want to care about each other. All the free organizations around the world want it, so living now is much easier than some years ago.
In sum, though some may yet believe that our grandparents’ lives were easier, I think our lives are much easier and more comfortable. Not only inventions and technologies prove my opinion, but also healthcare and social life improvements can be adequate for that. At last I think as the time passes the earth can be a better place to live, if mankind want it of course

[Saman_R]

As a beginner you can convey your opinion to reader in a rather acceptable way that may fit a part of requirements. I've read and corrected that. By going through the pdf attached, you can see some tips and comments.
GOOD LUCK

سلام... ممنون میشم یه نگاهی بندازین... این اولین رایتینگ من هست و تازه واردم ... لطفا خیلی بهم سخت نگیرین ....
تسک دو تی پی او شش
با سوال
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.
Passing time is one of the most important part of human kind lifestyle. As through it, lots of things change and affect directly or even indirectly on the way we live. Although some thinks today's life is much easier and more comfortable than in the past, some does not believe it. In my point of view, nowadays life is more easier and comfortable compare to my grandparents' childish. May be lots of reason can prove my opinion; Three of those are: modern inventions and technologies have made everything easy. Healthcare improved and as a result we live more comfortable. At last social improvements help lead everyone to a better life.
The main aspect to point out is that new inventions vastly affect our lives. In this case, technologies help every member of family and bring them comfortability. As you can see, mothers can easily handle a large party without further difficulties. Dish washers wash the dishes, Microwaves heat or even cook meals, and you say it. As another example, the son of the family, which is a college student, just reclining his seat and surfing over the internet to prepare his research paper. Think of this 100 years ago, he would go to library had a lot of difficulty finding books and so on. So, I think technologies make our lives much easier by changing the way we do things.
Another reason for that is about improving health care services. In the past lack of healthy environments, antibiotics, and equipped hospitals have major effects on people life and just a little sickness could disrupt a whole family. For instance, in those years heart problems might readily lead to death. But now, heart surgeries are very common. As a result of healthcare issues we can easily pass many sickness difficulties just because we live in recent years.
Finally, I think these days’ people are more social than any other time and care more about each other. In a social life everyone wants to help others, so living can be more comfortable. For example, imagine Japan Sonami. They were virtually wretched. But one things help them to back to everyday life, and that was the world community helps. Everyone around the world wanted to help them. Even a poor Asian or African country may help, just because world's people want to care about each other. All the free organizations around the world want it, so living now is much easier than some years ago.
In sum, though some may yet believe that our grandparents’ lives were easier, I think our lives are much easier and more comfortable. Not only inventions and technologies prove my opinion, but also healthcare and social life improvements can be adequate for that. At last I think as the time passes the earth can be a better place to live, if mankind want it of course

[Saman_R]

As always Excellent.
See the attached file
GOOD LUCK

Hi, everyone. I almost feel bad posting another writing right after getting the first one corrected, but I need to improve my writing any way. There were 7 spelling problems and I've fixed them for better readability. This is for integrated task.

The professor believes working collectively on projects in a company, is not after all a really brilliant idea. He express his opposition using an example of a company, which deployed this method and regretted it afterwards because of adverse results.


It can be deduced from the reading, that working in groups will enhance the productivity of the organization, since group members contribute moderately equally to the project's goal, and as a consequence, finish the task faster. But in contrast to that, the lecturer states that, the members of the group can be divided into two large parts, some of them are "free riders", who contribute a negligible amount to the process, and the other group, the over productive ones who do most of the work. He clearly points out that while free loaders are not entitled to be recognized for their efforts, they still get their benefits in the name of group.

On the other hand, the over-accomplishers are not content about their job since they are putting a lot of energy and in return receive no reputation for their hard work, since every success is attributed to the group as a whole, contrary to what the reading suggests, and this will decrease their enthusiasm and spirits.


Furthermore, in the reading it is assumed that group work improve the amount of times required for each project, but that does not seem to be the case. Because in reality, it will take a tremendous amount of time for group members to reach consensus. In addition to that, the group dynamics prevent some individuals from ever contributing their ideas, simply because of the fact, that some influencers in the group chiefly determine the results. This phenomena also decreases the opportunity for some truly creative ideas to be implemented, because the influencers who have the consensus of most people, repudiate these ideas. So in conclusion, it is highly probable that some risky decision are never taken. At last, no one takes responsibility for decisions made, since every one blames it on the group consensus.