نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[ipot]

سلام دوستان عزیز( خصوصا saman-r )

لطفا به این integrated essay هم یه نگاهی بکنید
همگی موفق باشید

In this set of materials, the reading passage revolves around three theories regarding the usage of "great houses"; on the contrary, the professor is at the loggerheads with the author over the theories. He rules out all the explanations and states that none of the theories is convincing.

First, the reading passage argues that "great houses" were used for residential purpose, because they are similar to recent "apartment buildings". In contrast, the professor refutes this theory and declares that, it is true that the exterior of great houses is similar to "apartment buildings”. But the interior of the houses is quite different. If the houses were residential, there would have been many fire places but there are few of them. In one of the houses there are fire places for 10 families,(.) while there are rooms for 100 families. Thus the inside of the houses casts doubt on residential purpose of the houses.

Second, the author states that the houses were used as storage places for grain maize, since the size of the houses is suitable for this purpose. Conversely, the lecturer believes that this theory is not supported by evidence. If the houses were used for storing grain maize, there should have been traces of spilled maize or big containers; while the excavations from the houses have not revealed traces of extra maize or containers yet. So this theory is unsupportive by evidence.

Finally, the writer asserts that the houses were used as “ceremonial centers”. Because excavators found large number of broken pots at a mound near the houses and the pots may have been used as festive meal containers. In contrast, the speaker casts serious doubt on this theory and states that besides broken pots, there were found other materials like building materials and tools. So the mound was a place for dumping trash and the broken pots may have been regular trash, like construction workers meals’ containers.

1. Should I end each argument either reading or listening with sentence adverbs like so, Thus, therefore? Or this approach is only required for listening argument?

[aksha]

سلامخواهشمندم این متن رو هم یه تصحیح کننده قوی تصحیح کنه.پیشاپیش ممنون

Individual Sports or Team Sports?
Nowadays, sports have an important role in ‘duty-life’ cycle of each society. Anyone in any society try to
plan for doing sports individually or by attending team sports, inasmuch as sports guarantee health. In
addition, the attitude of these individuals have a direct effect on providing a kind of sports in a society.
It stands to reason that this trait contributes to development of sports in any society. There is an exotic
people’s tendency to doing individual sports rather than team sports, although they watch team sports
such as football, volleyball, basketball, and basketball, to name but a few more.
Developed countries such as United States of America, Canada, England, and Russia, to name but a
handful, concentrate quite a few supply of investments on individual sports which have beneficial
effects on the place of these countries in the world. In this context, every country attempt to stable the
attendance in the universe by different ways. Accordingly, investment on individual sports with less time
and expenditure will be given them this goal in that the number of medals or stocks which is given in
individual sports especially some events, namely Olympics are more than in team sports. For instance,
China get the most medals in each Olympics, because it makes an immense investment in these
tournaments according to the number of athletes whom this country can evoke for competitions.
Psychological theory interprets individual sports as a solution for intrinsic motivation. Each sport
motivates athletes intrinsically or extrinsically. The intrinsic motivation satisfies psychological needs
such as competence, relatedness, and autonomy. Greater feelings of autonomy causing more freedom
to making decision lead individuals to solo responsibility for strategies of success. On the other hand a
large amount of coordination was needed for changing strategies indisputably in team sports. This
attribute even affects future life of emeritus athletes of individual sports who are proprietors of
successful business. In other words, the spirit of entrepreneurship of these individuals will be the most
essential factor of survivability in a predicament and todays, the presence of these individuals in a
society provides this evidence.
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, individual sports have some invaluable effects on policy of
countries and physical body of humans, although the excitement of team sports under the vision of
audience supposedly is more. Choosing each type of sport surely will be valuable, even though this
choice will be a constraint. It is possible that someone choose a kind of sport against one’s interest, but
there are some expectation that people select individual sports or team sports according to their needs
without considering effects of Orwellian level of government knowledge. So, selection of individual
sports for all goals represented above will be gainful.

[mani_faz]

Thanks for your support- Tpo 5--integrated

The reading proposes three possible applications for "great houses", but in each case, the lecturer repudiates them with strong evidence provided from experts in archeology.

The notion that these great houses were used as residential blocks might sound attractive if we just look at the outer facade of the buildings, but once we look more closely at the interior space, the counterevidence is hard to miss, so if the primary use was to accommodate families, one would expect a myriad of fireplaces to be found on which each family cooked their daily meals, but the evidence indicates that there are just a dozen of fireplaces in the building.

Besides that, it is also extremely unlikely that these houses were used to store grain maze as is suggested in the reading, since if that was the case, we should have been able to catch and obtain some traces and remains of this crop in the excavations happened there. That's really far from the result of excavations done, that shows no sign of grain maze or its remains and sediments.

Although it's true that enormous mound has been found in the site, but that's not the whole story. In addition to that, remains of other materials like large construction materials and sand is also abundant in the building, making it very probable that, the pots found at the site were actually the dishes of construction workers in which they dined, not a sign of huge ceremonies held there. So there is an alternative explanation that clearly justifies the artifacts (pots), and thus the theory about great house's use as ceremonial centers is eliminated.

------
Independent: People are spending a lot of time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they have to do.

It's an inevitable fact that the flamboyant options the modern world offers to us, makes it very hard on us to resist the temptations to spend all our life indulging ourselves in enjoyment and just ignore more critical, harder to manage tasks. I would argue that in fact, most of the people in the society have given in to that temptation, and have difficulty dealing with real life hardhsips in their lifetime. There are a number of arguments that support my view on this matter, which I delve into in the rest of my essay.


Nowadays almost everyone has access to a cell phone by which they can engross themselves in various activities like social media and other social apps, so that little time is left in a day for spending time with their own family or friends or other cooperative activities similar to that. This is really tragic, because in my opinion, this is the dominant contributor to elevated number of people who have depression and other mental maladies, pertinent to the notion, that we have deprived ourselves from more positive, real contact we inherently crave for, and instead have chosen to bond with virtual people who can harm us much more easily than a face to face interaction possibly could.


The second supporting reason is that when we indulge ourselves in fulsome personal enjoyment, we tend to lose the real goal of life, and that's not surprising at all, since the human mind can only handle a handful of matters at a time. So some college students totally lose the right attitudes that ought to have in university to excel at their studies, and just focus on just what feels enjoyable at the moment like hanging out with friends, procrastinating the required assignments and just completely abandoning the control of their personal matters. This result in a number of tragedies later in their life because they've never learned how to take control of their lives and navigate thorough real challenges.


In conclusion, I advocate that we are over emphasizing on the hedonic apect of our lives and that a more realistic, more balanced view toward our lives would be much more beneficial for us.

[Saman_R]

Thanks Saman for your kind words and your time.

This is for tpo 4. I’m trying to write a new essay everyday so that I can constantly improve. I had 4 spelling errors in each task, which I’ve corrected.

Integrated:

The lecturer provides enough satisfactory arguments that makes the validity of mentioned arguments for endothermity of dinosaurs very unlikely.

First of all, regarding the argument that dinosaurs ought to be endotherms, since some of them lived in Polar Regions, in fact it turns out that at that time, polar regions were not as frigid and icy as they are now, and were actually warmer, warm enough to allow non-endotherm animals to survive. In addition to that, these dinosaurs could hibernate or migrate like many species do, to decrease the adverse effects of coldness.


Besides that, the idea that dinosaurs should be endotherms because their legs are located below their bodies does not sound quite right too, because there are more convincing reasons that explain this anatomical feature, namely that, this status is extremely helpful for mammoth and gigantic animals and can better support the weight of huge animals, as is the case for dinosaurs who definitely took advantage of their huge bodies frequently.

Last but not least, although haversian canals have been found in these creature's bones, another structure called growth rings are also prevalent in their bones, which functions to cease the rapid growth of bones. Thus in essence, one can conclude that, they had subsequent periods of rapid growth (when the weather was warm) and no growth (when the weather was extremely cold), and this pattern perfectly matches the knowledge we already have on reptiles who are not endotherms, and is far from the constant period of growth we observe in all endotherm animals with no exception.

Excellent as always
Intact
just a few typos

GOOD LUCK

[Saman_R]

Thanks Saman for your kind words and your time.

Independent task: In twenty years, there will be fewer cars than there are now.
Currently in many metropolitans all around the world, the number of cars exceeds the population of inhabitants by large, and this has caused some complex issues in urban areas. I personally envision that numerous forces will eventuate in decreased use of personal cars in 20 years from now, and below I point out and express these forces in greater details.

The first and probably the most powerful contributor to less popularity of cars, is the environmental issues created by the unabated use of cars. So just to name a few, excessive use of cars has led to uncontrollable air pollution, sound and noise pollution, and many other ecological plights of that ilk. We are right now clueless about what other measures we can take, to restore our cities to their once clean and balanced environment. So in essence, I believe that the only effective choice we might have to revive our environment is, abandoning this wrong notion, and decrease our dependence and excessive use of cars.


Besides that, the technological advancements made in the recent decades, which are going to continue their exponential growth in coming years, will hopefully convince more people to use public transportation systems, instead of buying and using personal cars. For instance, consider the fact that almost all people in 20 years on, will have access to smart phones equipped with an app that show the movements and the schedule of buses and subway in real time in developing and under developed countries. Such tools evidently encourage more people to choose public transportation because of added efficiency. In addition to that, faster, more convenient trains and buses, with numerous amenities like air conditioner will further encourage them to do so.


Last but not the least, the business model in the future, will be more based on providing online services to customers, like shopping, learning, and entertaining people online, and this will obviate the need for many face to face services that citizen might need to engage in. Consequently, this will make the number of in-city trips to decrease significantly, and as a result, discourage people from buying cars to accommodate their daily needs.

Excellent
Better than ever
Tips in pdf
GOOD LUCK

[Saman_R]

Writing 4:
What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Having a good supervisor at a successful company is an essential need. A boss as a leader at the company has an important role at her/his company, because sometimes, her/his planning and decisions can change company’s situation to bankruptcy or success, and these can be a result of a bad or good planning. This result in that the supervisors at the companies should have many excellent qualities such as: good leader, having knowledge and responsibility.

Good leader is an acceptable view for everyone, that the boss must has it. There are many advantages in having a good leader as a supervisor at the company that the boss must has those, such as: passed the company in a difficult situations, managing her/his employees to achieve company’s goals successfully. For instance, the supervisor must know how he/she can lead the company to pass its problems, when she/he face with them, like financial problems, facing insolvency, and others dangerous situations which the company has faced with them and should pass them successfully for surviving. In additional, having elite employees is an excellent point for each company. It has some advantages, but its benefits are very more when employees are managed purposefully, and used of their performances for reaching company’s goals by the boss, it needs a person who has a bright mind, and has more capacities to think in an original way and leading.

Another brilliant quality that the supervisor must has, is knowledge. Without having knowledge, it is impossible that the boss can manage and lead the employees. Moreover, as a personally view I believe that somebody who is nominated for managerial position must have more knowledge than another employees who leaded by she/he. Because, the supervisor's position at the company is vital, and many important purposes and planning that are ran must acknowledge by the boss. Furthermore, employees implement somebody’s advices who having more knowledge better than somebody who having less knowledge. It means that the boss with more knowledge has more influences on the company’s worker.

Finally, I think the most curcial quality for everyone at the company is responsibility. It is an essential need for everyone in her/she live, and more vital for somebody who having the position as a head of the company. Look at the companies as a family member, the boss at the company is look like a father in the family, and consider employees as children in the family, it is logical that father’s behaviors impact on his children. So, imagine a situation which on the father don’t have responsibility to do his role as a leader and guide for his family. What will be happen? As a result, his children will be irresponsible, too. He can’t punish his children in the name of irresponsibility. Because he is irresponsible, too. In this view the boss can convey her/his significant feature to the employees. So, when she/he is responsible the employees will be responsible which is fundamental character to achieve prosper.

Long story short, the supervisor’s duties at the company is so significant. She/he can alter company’s condition and solve many difficult problems that the organization face with them, and impact on the other employees. So, she/he must has some substantial qualities and character like good guide and leading company well, having knowledge and responsibility which can transfer from the boss to working and lead the company’s to success.
یکبار مرور کردم متن رو و یکیری تصحیحات رو که فکر کردم باید جمله رو بهتر کنه اعمال کردم که بولد شده تو این قسمت. تا جایی که در توانم هست سعی میکنم درست کنم انشا رو ولی مطمئنا کمک شما خیلی بهتر هست ممنون میشم بیشتر راهنمییم کنید. سپاس

A Good Essay
Tips in pdf

GOOD LUCK

[Saman_R]

سلام دوستان عزیز( خصوصا saman-r )

لطفا به این integrated essay هم یه نگاهی بکنید
همگی موفق باشید

In this set of materials, the reading passage revolves around three theories regarding the usage of "great houses"; on the contrary, the professor is at the loggerheads with the author over the theories. He rules out all the explanations and states that none of the theories is convincing.

First, the reading passage argues that "great houses" were used for residential purpose, because they are similar to recent "apartment buildings". In contrast, the professor refutes this theory and declares that, it is true that the exterior of great houses is similar to "apartment buildings”. But the interior of the houses is quite different. If the houses were residential, there would have been many fire places but there are few of them. In one of the houses there are fire places for 10 families,(.) while there are rooms for 100 families. Thus the inside of the houses casts doubt on residential purpose of the houses.

Second, the author states that the houses were used as storage places for grain maize, since the size of the houses is suitable for this purpose. Conversely, the lecturer believes that this theory is not supported by evidence. If the houses were used for storing grain maize, there should have been traces of spilled maize or big containers; while the excavations from the houses have not revealed traces of extra maize or containers yet. So this theory is unsupportive by evidence.

Finally, the writer asserts that the houses were used as “ceremonial centers”. Because excavators found large number of broken pots at a mound near the houses and the pots may have been used as festive meal containers. In contrast, the speaker casts serious doubt on this theory and states that besides broken pots, there were found other materials like building materials and tools. So the mound was a place for dumping trash and the broken pots may have been regular trash, like construction workers meals’ containers.

1. Should I end each argument either reading or listening with sentence adverbs like so, Thus, therefore? Or this approach is only required for listening argument?

Excellent as always
well-organized
well- expanded
very intellectual
coherent
and a lot of positive remarks
tips in pdf
some errors, but trivial

GOOD LUCK

[chemistrymaste]

دوستان سلام.
بی زحمت نگاهی به رایتینگ ما بندازین. ازتون ممنونم.


Should university students be required to attend classes?

Among suggestions that could promote (or improve?) learning efficiency, the necessity of enrolling (or attend?) in classes has been argued frequently during the last years. Tradition tells us that attending classes are firm part of the learning process, while, there are some people saying it should be up to the students to decide whether they need to go or not. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, no matter whether students like it or not, they must attend classes.

First of all, I must say, I believe that studying out class, saves our time and makes learning process more comfortable. As an example, e-learning is one of the learning methods that doesn’t need any formal class. Students learn through visual classes and using computer and internet instead of pen, notebook and whiteboard. Being connected to professors, students do not need to go to campus; indeed, they can do their research and assignments at any place, e.g. a vacation hotel. Therefore, studying without a real class, will save our time and offer us a comfortable learning environment.

Another advantage of making class an optional choice is that people could customize their learning process according to their own interests and capabilities. Since classroom consists of students with different level of knowledge, one may not learn because of the fast speed of teaching, while another student might get bored because of the slow speed of teaching. But when one studies out class, he / she may accelerate or decrease his studying speed and go on to the further topics that motivates him / her.

On the other hand, attending class at regular time has its own advantages. Students have to concentrate on their studies at a classroom and teachers may give them a lot of information that are not written in the book, such as the way of learning lessons, researching, etc. Moreover, some physical exercises and experiments may only be done at real classes. They not only teach us knowledge, but also teach us how to extend our information about a subject and how to memorize important parts of a lesson.

In the second place, students can enroll in related seminars and group discussions when they attend in classes. They can experience good sense of teamwork, learn how to present and how to take notes and important points in seminars and group discussions.

Moreover, having to complete assignments on time gives students sense of responsibility. Also, sitting at a specific place at a specific time, prepares us for getting a job in the future.

In conclusion, I believe that students should attend classes, because (please tell me synonyms for because: since,…) attending classes gives them information that are not mentioned at books, helps them to be more responsible and on-time, and helps them to experience teamwork, and learn how to have cooperation at group discussions and teamwork.

[mahnaz_elec]

سلام دوستان وقتتون بخیر
ممنون میشم نظرتون رو در رابطه با این رایتینگ بگید,
همچنین اگه دوستان با تجربه لطف کنن بگن با این رایتینگ تقریبا چه نمره ای میشه از رایتینگ آزمون اصلی گرفت ممنون میشم. این هم اضافه کنم که این 15 امین نمونه رایتینگ منه. تو زمان مینویسم اما برای ویرایش وقت کم میارم. خیلی ممنونم میشم اگه پیشنهادی برای بهبود کارم بدین.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is easier for people to become well- educated now than in the past.
It is established beyond doubt that education has always played an important role in human being’s lives and well-educated people have always been respected in all societies. It is also an indisputable fact that in this modern era, the majority of people are highly educated. One of the most controversial questions which is often raised regarding this issue is that whether in comparison to the past, it is now easier for people to become well-educated. Although some people may argue that is a general truth that every individual could get educated in the past simply, others maintain that nowadays people can get educated more easily. As a matter of fact, I agree with the latter perspective and I will elucidate my point of view through the following paragraphs.
The first reason that comes to mind at the first moment of thinking about this issue is related to the fact that the number of schools and universities as well as the number of teachers has increased considerably throughout the history. This has provided more people with the access to academic facilities and as a result, nowadays, more people have the chance to get educated in comparison to the past.
The second reason which is worth mentioning is that in the past not all the people had the right to become educated. From a historical point of view, most of people in the past were illiterate since they had no other choice. At that time, only a privileged group of people had the right to become educated. Rarely could a typical individual go to school in the past. According to our country’s history, once there was a farmer who hired a teacher to teach his son. When the king got aware of this happening, he ordered to kill the teacher, so that other teachers would not do the same.
Last but not the least reason justifying the claim is that, according to recent progresses in technology, it is now both easier and chipper to access to the teaching materials such as printed text books or even the e-books. On contrary, in the past, not all the people could afford buying such requirements and hence many people were hampered from being educated, even when they had the right to become educated. A noteworthy well-organized statistics revealed by a sociology research in England indicates that more than 80 percent of people do not take the money they spend for their education as a strain on their budgets and they can easily afford it.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned arguments above lead us to the conclusion that nowadays, people encounter fewer problems for getting educated in comparison to the past. But that was just a story in a nutshell. Actually there are some other reasons and examples, supporting the claim, which are not mentioned above. All in all, I readily concur that “in comparison to the past, it is really easier to become well educated in this modern era”.

[mani_faz]

Hi everyone. This is for tpo 6, I’m really grateful for your continuedsupport.

integrated
The professor strongly believes that the criticisms posed upon Communal online encyclopedias are totally unfair and in fact are the products of sheer prejudice on their success and their widespread credit and use. She concretely asserts the reasons one might give to discredit the arguments presented in the reading.


The first issue that has been stated in the presented piece is that more errors and incorrect information are found in Online encyclopedias. This is far from the truth, because if we look for a comprehensive perfectly written encyclopedia, we will be disappointed in either online or offline format, and regarding this matter traditional offline encyclopedia are no better. What's more, there is an advantage in respect to online encyclopedias that traditional ones lack, namely the easy process of correcting mistakes online which can be done instantly and continuously.

The argument against the vulnerability of information in online encyclopedias is not true too. Because, there are many counter measures that have been taken to prevent vandals from altering the content and insuring the perseverance of critical information. This is achieved by putting some of the format in read-only format and restricting access to them by anyone. There are also some special editors in each subject that constantly review the materials for false modifications and correctness.

In respect to the third argument, which points out to the loss of hierarchical structure for more important core entries and their salience in online encyclopedias, one can conveniently repudiate it, because in contrast to classic encyclopedias in online ones there is no bound on the amount of content and so the ordering and salience of materials is irrelevant. Besides that online encyclopedias enjoy a greater diversity regarding the materials and disciplines, and unlike what's mentioned in the reading, in reality there are many excellent advanced scientific entries found in online encyclopedias and the presence of such articles is not scarce at all.
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Independent
Topic: life today is easier and more convenient than it was when your grandparents were children.

As the law of entropy in physics prognosticates "objects in the universe tend to take courses of action that finally lead them to reach a more chaotic state", we humans have proclivities to deal with more complicated, more turbulent types of challenges over time. Thus, I would argue that not only life hasn't gotten any easier for us, but actually it has taken many sharp turns that has made matters we could handle conveniently before, quite a challenging bewildering task for us.

For one thing, we are obliged to choose among a much wider choice of options. More concretely, my grandparents and their generation had pretty much a narrow somehow default set of decisions to make, namely, they know they had to marry pretty soon in their twenties and then have children and be busy taking care of them and watching them grow and deal with their lives. But for the modern citizen of the world, thing are much more complicated, they have to contemplate much more deeply about connubial matters, simply because, getting married and having children in this era brings about lots of responsibilities and financial hardships that not everyone can overcome.

In contrast to that, the older generation handled the matter really easily because they had not much to worry regarding the education and future of their children, since almost all of them, perpetuated the family business and as a result had a quite guaranteed basic level of satisfaction in life, but this approach is not helpful anymore, because the structure of the economy and its undesirability doesn't allow such peace of mind.


Another note I would make, is that we have to deal with problems that has solely arisen first, because of the very existence of more comfort and amenities. To further clear my point, consider the increased number of automatic vehicles and cars and the issue of air and sound pollution and the increasing environmental dilemmas. This problem is a prevailing issue that endangers many aspects of our life, namely that, it's putting our health and our very survival in danger, in a word, it's threatening the very survival of our species.

In the light of the above mentioned arguments, I believe one can logically reach the conclusion that the kind and the vastness of the issues we are facing now is really vast compared to those of our grandparents, and consequently, we have to possess a much deeper understanding of our situation to lead a standard life and prosper in our life journey.