نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[Saman_R]

دوستان سلام. اگه زحمتی نیست انشای من رو تصحیح کنید لطفا. من تازه شروع به نوشتن کردم . میدونم خیلی انشام بده اگه لطف کنید اشتباهاتم رو گوشزد کنید ممنون میشم.

#Most of the adults think#Most of the adults thinks that their children should not challenge with financial matters but others raise their kids more responsible for economic issues. As far as I am concerned I strongly agree with second attitude.

First, on of the most important aspects of education of children is teaching them how deal with economic problems. The life is tough and if the children didn't taught how save their money in order to use it for, they will not strong adults. The social investigation have been shown that most of the renowned and prosperous people in a society started to learn how to save their money and how to spend their money.

Another reason is that the children should be financially responsible is that they have to learn that every thing in this world earned by hard working. If they want mony they have work for it. The children should be taught that for making money they have work and they must be responsibile during their works. They should perceive that if they make mistakes or errors, they confront negative consequences. For instance, if a child did not his assigned work, he/she get punished by cutting he/her money budget.

Last but not least, managing the budget can help the youth to become more autonomous. A young man can find a part time job during his education. He can pay his tuitions and some expenses by himself. This let the children to feel independent from their parents so in future they can find job with higher self confident.

In conclusion, although children always tend to spend their monies with junk foods but they parents can help them to grow as responsible people. The children can learn not only how to save their money, but also they can learn how to earn it and how to become independent.

It’s satisfactory for a person who has just recently begun to write.
I'm sure you will be able to write immensely perfectly in the not too remote future
Provided you consider the tips in PDF
GOOD LUCK

[NAZYCH70]

اگر امکانش هست این رایتینگ رو هم تصحیح کنید...

The author describes that in the United States employees typically work five days a week for eight hours each day. However many employees want to work a four day week and they accept less pay in order to do so. He asserts that this option can provide more profits for both companies and the employees. The lecturer otherwise explain that this option doesn’t have any positive effect on the profit of companies and employees lives.
The author explains that the shortened work week would increase company profits because employees would feel more rested and alert, so it doesn’t need to hiring more staff to ensure that the same amount of work would be accomplished, because for day employees wouldn’t receive more than 80 percent of the normal rate.in the end companies would have fewer prone-error employees for the same money which would increase company profits. In addition this option can reduce unemployment rates because some of the work load of employees who work four day in a week shifted to others. Thus for every four employees a new employee could be hired.
The lecturer explains that the option of a four day work week wont effect on company profits, or the quality of the employees lives. First reason is that this option will force the companies to hire more new workers. As he said these new workers will need more office spaces, computers and medical benefits. He mentioned that the cost of thing like health benefits can be the same whether the employees work four day or five. The second reason that he mentioned is that when the work week is shortened, many more jobs will become available and hiring new workers is costly, so it might some companies choose other options , they might ask their employees to work over time or some other might raise expectations and ask four day workers to do same amount of work they used to do in five days. So it wont be any additional jobs and it might the current job will become more unpleasant . In the end he explains that having more free time cant warranty the better life because four day workers should be concern about the stability of their jobs , and harm their chances to advance their career.

[alirrrrrr]

سلام دوستان. خیلی ممنون میشم یه نگاهی هم به انشای من بکنین. تشکر (:
People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Art has been known as the most significant feature which has always been taken into account in order to study history of an empire, nation or a place. Whatever seems to be scenic or pleasing is produced via a special skill or ability which is known as an artistic work. Nowadays, music also is known as one the most attractive joys of folk. Each of the artistic work has some reasons to be noticeable for the fans and anthropologists (as an interesting issue to evaluate different generations of people in different spot of the world). A question arises here is to what extend music is regarded important for most of people. A couple of music aspects that makes it powerful are written in the following for having a more profound analysis.

First and foremost, people who have been living these days are engaged with a lot of hardships which poses a lot of physical and spiritual problems for them. The proliferation of their problems is due to their more stress for their work load in order to have a luxurious life style. So, people are used to do something to have a better relaxation and forgetting whatever have been happened in their work places. Music could be regarded as an easily accessible everywhere and every time to have a better feeling. Actually, music could be listened to have an unrealistic happiness by listening the exaggerative happiness that is held in a specific music.

Second, as music have been popular, the vast majority of populace in different countries have listened and followed their own favorite singers' music. This makes a special power for the high-caliber singers. Furthermore, some singers have decided to extend their attitude about a social problems, a culture, a religion, and a policy that is held in a certain country in order to use their own power to change the problems that had annoyed them. Take, for instance, Shadmehr who is a Persian pop singer is living in the USA decided to make a special music video for the sake of those who had been arrested for having complained against biased behavior that is held in the country. Consequently, a widespread unhappiness for this happening was extended among people in the world and then the government have been obliged to unleash the arrested ones. In a word, there is a lot of historic problems that have been solved by the content of a music or what have been narrated in a music about that issue.

Taking all of the mentioned aspects of music importance into account makes it clear that music is not known just as a facility for having a fun time but could be regarded as a way to warn people about problems. Moreover, many a severe problem that has been solved by having been published a music about that issue. Finally, music will bring a better future and happier moments for us, if the singers keep going in the correct way.

[chemistrymaste]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان عزیز و آقای سامان عزیز که زحمت رایتینگای ما رو میکشن
اگه یه نگاهی به رایتینگ ما بندازین خیلی ممنون میشم.
Should a new restaurant be built in your neighborhood?

I can see both advantages and disadvantages of a new restaurant established in my neighborhood. Although in my own opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

In the first place, establishing a new restaurant accelerates our traffic problems; we will have more restricts to find parking lots, specifically at weekends. Moreover, since some people stay awake the whole night while drinking and dancing. When leaving the restaurant, they might be preposterous, nonsensical and asinine; as a result, they may make noises, threaten natives, or drive nonobservant. This is not the kind of thing I like to see in my neighborhood.

In the second place, we need a pharmacy and a library rather than a restaurant. I would prefer to see one of these businesses founded in my neighborhood, rather than a restaurant. Any one of them would be beneficial to the residents and would preserve the reticent and inexpressive atmosphere of our neighborhood.

On the other hand, establishing a restaurant in our neighborhood has its advantages. For instance, we can serve meals there, instead of cooking in emergency cases; when we are tired, or we invite our friends, going to restaurant can save our time and energy. Correspondingly, we can spend more time beside our friends; meanwhile, we’ll have a cheerful and excited time. Additionally, a restaurant can be a convenient place to hold a wedding reception or birthday ceremony.

As has been noted, a new restaurant could disrupt the quiet lifestyle of our neighborhood. It might bring jobs, save our time and energy for more essential works, rather than cooking, it can facilitate holding ceremonies and birthday receptions, give us a chance to find new friends; nonetheless, it would cause traffic, noise, unsafety, particularly at night, and it would occupy the terrain which is more beneficial to be exploit for other aim. This is why I would oppose a plan for a new restaurant.

[aksha]

It’s fascinating. A lot of unique and hard words by which the essay has been considered amazing
You should regard the paragraphs
array the paragraphs in 5
Some mistakes
Tips in PDF
Hope looked useful

GOOD LUCK

از saman_r بسیار سپاسگزارم.
از افراد متخصص و اهل فن تقاضا دارم این متن جدید را هم بازبینی نموده و مرا در بهبود مهارت رایتینگ یاری نمایند. پیشاپیش ممنون
Almost a century ago, Alexander Graham Bell and John Logie Baird present telephone and television to the world that they alter people’s lifestyle. It stands to reason that these changes affect facets of life and realize concepts that achievement to them was impossible such as telecommunication, tele-surveillance, and telepathy, to name but a few. Despite the amounts of effectiveness of these two inventions on people were not the same all through this time, television exerts a lot of powerful influence on people’s lives.
Apart from TV has indirect effect on people’s lives, no one can not overlook its direct effects on culture. Top powerful countries, namely the United States, Russia, and China, to name but a handful, enjoy visual media, or TV as a perfect tool for individual purposes, inasmuch as this medium has a direct effect on human mindsets. For an example, United States has hundreds of TV channels that quite a few channels not only are advocators of their government but they also can extend their attitudes. In addition, some countries attempt to eliminate traditional culture of some areas by massive production of cultural documentaries. In other words, these efforts, as well as political documentaries, are scheduled as ‘Political Culture’ for establishment of tranquility in the world. On the other hand, telephone is simply a tool for talking rather than advertising.
Training as well as upbringing are two traits of successful societies. Television can provide a wide variety of practical training programs for children, youths, and adults. For instance, some channels are named training channels and show cooking training, dressmaking training, and so on. Also, people need amusement and do rights that they spend their leisure activities. Therefore, television makes a lot of entertainment programs proportion to all ages. Telephone cannot contribute its own technology to the training as much as TV. However, it provides live talking between people rather than unilateral communication.
In conclusion, all this taken into account, I believe that the television rather than the telephone has its merit which far outweighs its demerits. Although the telephone brings some advantages, namely scheduling meetings and reducing unwarranted traffic, the television proves more efficient in our hectic lives in that it informs us of any latest news from all over the world and increases our general knowledge. In other words, the television attempts to diminish the boarders and close the distance between us and others.

[raminziaei]

سامان عزیز، واقعاً ممنون بخاطر وقتی که میزاری و زحمتی که میکشی.
ممنون میشم اگه دوستان عزیز این مقاله رو هم بخونن. (خیلی از اصطلاحات رو از یکی از مقاله های خانم مهناز یاد گرفتم، با تشکر از ایشون)
ممنونم.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should study non-fiction.

It is established beyond doubt that what we study has a crucial influence on our future. It has been a controversial issue for a long time, and it goes without saying that we should choose it carefully. I, personally, believe that it is important to study fiction due to the fact that it can improve our lives’ quality, but more important is to study non-fiction which will lead to a more successful future.
It is an indisputable fact that studying fiction promotes our life style. By studying fiction we can learn some materials and concepts which we have not thoroughly thought about so far. For instance, while life after death is not an ordinary subject to think about regularly, it is one of the most popular concepts in film-making industry. In fact, it has revolutionized lots of people’s attitude toward their way of living. Moreover, according to a scientific fact, it develops our creativity which results in becoming a more intelligent individual. A recent study at Purdue University has revealed this fact that focusing on fiction cause some new parts of our brains which have been dormant so far to start functioning. This example clearly shows how studying fiction can be beneficial.
However, studying non-fiction is much more important in comparison to fiction for some reasons. The first reason that comes to mind at the first moment of thinking about this issue is that studying non-fiction will result in a lucrative job. As a matter of fact, it is worth mentioning that there are more job opportunities with high incomes for those who major in it. No matter how qualified a person is, it will be a better chance for him to find an appropriate job than those in other fields. Last but not least reason justifying the claim mentioned above is that a person who studies non-fiction, in the future, will probably have a high status in the society. While, it may seem unfair to those who are interested in fiction, it is a fact. For example, my father is an exceptionally adroit doctor, and as a result, he is so popular, renowned, and respected in my home town. On the other hand, a musician lives in the same area who is as outstandingly skillful in his own field as my father, but only a minority of local people even know him! It indicates that people do not care enough about fiction.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned arguments above lead us to the conclusion that studying non-fiction is more indispensable than fiction. Although fiction improves our quality of lives and helps us become more creative, non-fiction guarantees our future success and popularity. But that was just a story in a nutshell. Actually, there are some other reasons and examples, supporting the claim, which are not mentioned above. All in all, I readily concur that “people should study non-fiction”.

[Al2miN]

سلام. قبل از هر چیز از سامان عزیز تشکر میکنم بابت زحمتهایی که میکشه ای کاش سایت قانون امتیازات رو یکم بهش انعطاف بیشتری میداد که بهش برای هر پست امتیاز داد و مجبور نباشی تا چندتا امتیاز به این و اون بدی تا دوباره بتونی برای فردی که مد نظرت هست امتیاز بدی. چون من فقط رایتینگ میذارم و افراد زیاد تصحیح نمی کنند که بتونم امتیاز به چندین نفر بدم و مشکل امتیازدهی دارم.
این رایتینگ چهارم من هست ممنون میشم یه نگاه بندازید و نظرتون رو بگید.
Writing 5:



Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.



Transportation and roads are related to each other, it is a significant matter in the modern life. Today, our transporting is strongly depending on roads and highways, and governments have a fundamental role by spend more money on improving it. Public transportation not only is economical for the people but also its pollutions are low, but highways and roads’ condition must have standard quality inasmuch as highways with poor condition can be danger and states should spend bevy of money on developing roads and highways. So, I believe its priority is more than public transportation.

Highways’ quality is a crucial matter that governments should spend more money on improving it, because it can be danger for the people, when highways don’t have standard qualification for cars and transporting, statistics for accidents are increased. As a matter of fact, people’s safety can be depended on roads and highways qualities. Moreover, roads with bad condition can damage to cars and vehicles, as a result people and governments’ costs are enhanced.

Having more routes and ways is an integral part of communications and trading. It goes without saying that trading with other countries and cities for governments and businessmen is so important because they can make vast money and improve their economic which is very depend on countries routes and ways. For instance, some companies need routs and ways to transport their productions to another cities and countries which is more economical than another ways like airlines, and seaway. In addition, having more roads can decrease traffics in cities this result is saving time for people.

To sum it up, both of transportation and routs are connected together and have principal figure in our life. But in my point of view, spending more money on improving roads and freeways is more substantial. Because, routs with high scales can decrease accidents rate and increase safety. In addition, it is an essential need for states and their business that have a vast of routs and highways. So, governments should have more attention to improve freeways and roads.

[mani_faz]

Thinking of a queue, I think the queue is so crowded that maybe 1 month later, someone could take a look at my writing, but anyway human is just alive by his hope! I appreciate your help beforehand.(both of them have been corrected regarding dictation)
One general question: Imagine hypothetically (in tpo this happens a lot), that I have 2 options and just have time for one of them in real exam, to write the conclusion paragraph which almost exerts no special skill from me and is chiefly automatic, or to add another reason to already insufficient ones or maybe proofread my essay for obvious grammatical mistakes I might have made, which one should I choose for a better score?

Integrated part
The perception of the lecturer is that although the passage rightfully addresses the issues caused by petroleum use, the reading presents hydrogen-based vehicles too optimistically, and neglect important downsides it simultaneously brings about.

Contrary to what the reading asserts, hydrogen is not as accessible as it might seem at first glance. Despite being abundant in many natural resources, the process of extracting the appropriate artificial hydrogen which can be utilized as fuel for cars, is an exceedingly complicated and expensive process, like how the fuel has to be kept in extremely cold temperatures that require gigantic and costly machinery.

The second objection she raises is about how much the reading is sanguine about the extent to which, hydrogen-based vehicles reduce the pollution challenge we are dealing with now. One might elusively has the notion that since these cars produce no carbon dioxide, they don't contribute much to pollution. But taking a more holistic perspective, one can clearly see that, although the cars themselves do not directly cause contamination, the machinery and equipment used to produce the fuel operating those cars, are mostly oil and diesel based machines that greatly produce pollution.

The last remark she makes is regarding the supposed low cost, associated with the use of hydrogen-based vehicles. If we take a closer look, we realize that platinum which is an essential component for the chemical reaction that engender electrical energy from the hydrogen fuel, and consequently is an inevitable element in the design of cars is actually really scarce and rare, and as a result absolutely elevated the final prices for the product. This adverse condition is further problematic, because all of the attempts to find more efficient cheaper materials as an alternative to platinum have all failed and has been futile.

Independent part: Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.


No one can undermine the enormous impact that technology had made on our lives, especially in ways we approach challenges and difficulties, like how easily many of the formerly perplexing tasks like collecting and analyzing data, has become much more convenient and even at times surprisingly fun and entertaining. Although some critics rightfully point out to downfalls technology might have caused to our children, regarding losing the intrinsic curiosity of human beings, I would argue that the advantages in this case, clearly outweigh the pitfalls. I will elaborate in a more detailed manner in the rest of my essay, about why I hold this viewpoint.


It is incontrovertible, especially with the rise and ubiquitous use of social apps that sharing and getting your ideas across to the public has never been easier. Children in this era, are subject to this innovative tool from the very start of their lives and as a result are really adapt at taking advantage of them. Consider for example, an average pupil stuck on a homework question, now simply by typing his enquiry in the Google, he will most probably reach a really helpful and illustrative example, that tackles the very same problem, and which uses a truly cool and creative way of remembering stuff, that profoundly helps the child carve it into his mind. The fascinating things about this is that it happens in a matter of seconds and there is no restriction whatsoever on the audience that can access and benefit from that learning material.


Pertinent to what said above, now consider another aspect i.e., getting some ideas about how to go about a class project the child might be wondering about. Again with in an unbelievably brief time, the child can post a thread on the net, and get lots of feedback and invaluable help that would have been impossible to get his hand on, if there was no internet. This continual flow of mutually and cooperatively getting and giving help, can definitely lead the child to be more creative and open minded about whatever he might need to consider in future.


Another core capability that technology has equipped us with is, platforms that provide online massive courses, they encompass all areas of science, and are a great tool for anyone with a general interest in any field. I have personally seen many children, even under the age of 10, taking advantage of these resources to pursue their curiosities and think more creatively and innovatively about many disciplines, from an early age.

In a nutshell, I think the above mentioned arguments and reason provide a firm ground for my endorsement of the positive effect that technology has had, on prompting the creativity of the children in today's world.

[mahnaz_elec]

hello every one
this is the writting I just wrote as a test. This had been written in 30 min, and hence I could not correct it in time. In fact it is a raw version , full of grammatical and spelling mistakes.
I would appreciate any one who can give this writing a real score , just as ETS.
Best regards.

The best way to learn about a foreign country is to read newspapers and magazines from that country.

It is established beyond doubt that almost all of human beings are really curious to know about the way people from forging countris lead their lives. This is even more important when one intends to travel to another country for a vacation or for a job mission or even when he wants to immigrate there. There are varous ways of learning about a forging country. One of the most controversial questions which is often raised regarding this issue is that where the newspaps and magazines from a country are the most proper source of information in this regards. Althogh some people may argue that the these publications are the exact representer of a country, others maintain that there exist even better ways to learn about a special culture. As a matter of fact, I agree with the latter perspective and I will elucidate my point of view through the following paragraphs.
The first reason that comes to mind at the first moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that not always can one trust on all newspapers or magazines. It is an indispensable fact that there have always been people who made use of these media just for their own benefit. To shed some light on this issue, consider for example a newpapwer whoes publisher has a certain attitude of thinking. As a result, he intends to write about specific cultures and he covers only topics which are beneficiary for him. For example he satarts writing about religion of a people of that country and he might even excadurates about it. If one forging person trust this magazine, he will get mislead to an extent that he might even feel terrified about the people in that country.
The second reason which is worth mentioning is that inorder to get familiar with a group of people, the best way is to live with them for a period of time. Althoght this might be some how impossible in some case, for example if you could not afford tarvelling to a special country, It provides one with verey substantial information which he could not acquire them from any magazine or newspaper.
Last but not the least reason justifying the claim is related to the fact that magazine and newspaper can not always convey the real culture of people. Since these publications are official, they have to obey certain rules in their writing. Hence they might be a long distance between what is witten in them and the way people talk and live. Culture is convoved with manay slangs , proverbs, tradditions, etc and all of these can not be wriiten down. How can a magazine represent for example the real motional interaction among peoples of a country.
To wrap ot up,all the aforementioned arguments above lead us to the conclusion that magazines and newpaper are not the trustful source of information about a specific country. But that was just a story in a nutshell. Actually there are some other reasons and examples, supporting the claim, which are not mentioned above. All in all,I readly concur that” in comparison to publioshed media, there exist more proper ways to learn about a forging country”.

[mahnaz_elec]

hello every body
Here I am posting an example of an integrated task from TPO 19. I wiil appreciate any feedback from my friends.
regards

The author argues that there are substantial complains toward the "buzzing" tactic and some people even insist that it should be banned. However, the lecturer cast doubt on this claim and provides three reasons to vindicate his standpoint.
First, the reading cites that since buzzers are paid to praise a product, they are not honest and people cannot trust them. On the other hand, the lecturer notes that in fact buzzer are the individuals who had used a special product and since they are satisfied about that product, they praise it, not just because they are being paid to do so. He provided an example of himself in this regard. He mentioned that once he bought his cellphone and after he got satisfied with it, he accepts to buzz for it.
Furthermore, the reading asserts that since buzzers seem to be just private individuals, people tend to accept their endorsements less critically and as a result they accept their claims easily and this might harm the consumers. On contrary, the lecturer opposes this claim affirming that consumers buy a product by comparing its price, services, etc. and not just by believing what the buzzer had said. Hence if a costumer could not find the answer to his questions about a product, he would not buy it, even if the buzzer had endorsed it.
Finally, the author plays up the idea that the buzzing tactic seems to be harmful for our social relationships since each individual might consider any one nearby as a buzzer with a hidden agenda. In contrast, the lecturer contradicts this claim reasoning that buzzing is not a means of deceiving others for earning money. A buzzer accepts to endorse a product which he is sure about it. Hence people should not mistrust others just because they might be buzzers.