نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[Saman_R]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان عزیز و آقای سامان عزیز که زحمت رایتینگای ما رو میکشن
اگه یه نگاهی به رایتینگ ما بندازین خیلی ممنون میشم.
Should a new restaurant be built in your neighborhood?

I can see both advantages and disadvantages of a new restaurant established in my neighborhood. Although in my own opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

In the first place, establishing a new restaurant accelerates our traffic problems; we will have more restricts to find parking lots, specifically at weekends. Moreover, since some people stay awake the whole night while drinking and dancing. When leaving the restaurant, they might be preposterous, nonsensical and asinine; as a result, they may make noises, threaten natives, or drive nonobservant. This is not the kind of thing I like to see in my neighborhood.

In the second place, we need a pharmacy and a library rather than a restaurant. I would prefer to see one of these businesses founded in my neighborhood, rather than a restaurant. Any one of them would be beneficial to the residents and would preserve the reticent and inexpressive atmosphere of our neighborhood.

On the other hand, establishing a restaurant in our neighborhood has its advantages. For instance, we can serve meals there, instead of cooking in emergency cases; when we are tired, or we invite our friends, going to restaurant can save our time and energy. Correspondingly, we can spend more time beside our friends; meanwhile, we’ll have a cheerful and excited time. Additionally, a restaurant can be a convenient place to hold a wedding reception or birthday ceremony.

As has been noted, a new restaurant could disrupt the quiet lifestyle of our neighborhood. It might bring jobs, save our time and energy for more essential works, rather than cooking, it can facilitate holding ceremonies and birthday receptions, give us a chance to find new friends; nonetheless, it would cause traffic, noise, unsafety, particularly at night, and it would occupy the terrain which is more beneficial to be exploit for other aim. This is why I would oppose a plan for a new restaurant.

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[Saman_R]

سلام. قبل از هر چیز از سامان عزیز تشکر میکنم بابت زحمتهایی که میکشه ای کاش سایت قانون امتیازات رو یکم بهش انعطاف بیشتری میداد که بهش برای هر پست امتیاز داد و مجبور نباشی تا چندتا امتیاز به این و اون بدی تا دوباره بتونی برای فردی که مد نظرت هست امتیاز بدی. چون من فقط رایتینگ میذارم و افراد زیاد تصحیح نمی کنند که بتونم امتیاز به چندین نفر بدم و مشکل امتیازدهی دارم.
این رایتینگ چهارم من هست ممنون میشم یه نگاه بندازید و نظرتون رو بگید.
Writing 5:



Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.



Transportation and roads are related to each other, it is a significant matter in the modern life. Today, our transporting is strongly depending on roads and highways, and governments have a fundamental role by spend more money on improving it. Public transportation not only is economical for the people but also its pollutions are low, but highways and roads’ condition must have standard quality inasmuch as highways with poor condition can be danger and states should spend bevy of money on developing roads and highways. So, I believe its priority is more than public transportation.

Highways’ quality is a crucial matter that governments should spend more money on improving it, because it can be danger for the people, when highways don’t have standard qualification for cars and transporting, statistics for accidents are increased. As a matter of fact, people’s safety can be depended on roads and highways qualities. Moreover, roads with bad condition can damage to cars and vehicles, as a result people and governments’ costs are enhanced.

Having more routes and ways is an integral part of communications and trading. It goes without saying that trading with other countries and cities for governments and businessmen is so important because they can make vast money and improve their economic which is very depend on countries routes and ways. For instance, some companies need routs and ways to transport their productions to another cities and countries which is more economical than another ways like airlines, and seaway. In addition, having more roads can decrease traffics in cities this result is saving time for people.

To sum it up, both of transportation and routs are connected together and have principal figure in our life. But in my point of view, spending more money on improving roads and freeways is more substantial. Because, routs with high scales can decrease accidents rate and increase safety. In addition, it is an essential need for states and their business that have a vast of routs and highways. So, governments should have more attention to improve freeways and roads.

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[Saman_R]

Do you think I am over explaining thins? For this set I had no time to revise and correct my mistakes in the exam time? Should I spend less time elaborating on issues?
Thanks for your extremely helpful comments in advance?

Integrated part:
The professor makes an attempt to respond meticulously to the issues raised in the passage, and the arguments she make, cast serious doubt on the authenticity of the claims mentioned in the reading, and make it strongly likely that Chevelier's memoirs are credible historical resources.

The first paradox raised against the claims of Chevalier, being both truly opulent and being needy to borrow a considerable amount of money from his comrades, can clearly be explained using an alternative explanation. As is commonplace for most of affluent figures, Chevalier’s wealth was chiefly dormant in his manifold building and estates, and as is commonplace in comparable cases, it took some time before he could sell these assets and accommodate his pecuniary needs, especially considering the fact that he was a real gambler and as a result, could easily lose a significant amount of his wealth over a night.

It should also be noted that although, the memoirs of Chevalier’s meeting with Voltaire, has been written many years after their incidence, there are credible evidence that suggests, Chevelier had registered every little detail about these meeting the night they happened, and as some witnesses have stated, he frequently utilized some references and his personal notes from the past, to complete his memoir.

Regarding the possible exaggeration and fabrication that Chevelier might have intentionally made to his prison escape to make the book more captivating, there is enough trustable evidence that makes it very unlikely for him, to have just fabricated the whole story. First, there were more influential imprisoners who had really powerful contacts to exonerate them from the guilt, and by bribing set them free from prison, but nevertheless, none of them ever escaped from the same jail. Furthermore, an official document issued by the Venice government at that time, clearly is indicative of an imperative repair of one of the rooms in the prison, right after the date which Chevalier claims to have broken free from the building.

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[Saman_R]

Independent: Do you think TV ads for children aged 2 to 5 years old should be banned?

It is established beyond doubt, that advertising and it's flamboyant presence in our daily life, greatly impacts our decisions on variegated aspects of our daily activities and even our beliefs. What's more, children are dramatically more vulnerable to ads, especially the ones shown on TV, because of their inability to realize the big industry that feed from these colorful scenes. In the rest of my essay, I delve further into the specific reasons that makes watching ads on TV, chiefly detrimental and pernicious for children.

The psychology research has stated over and over that the first few years on one's life, plays an incredibly crucial role, on one's disposition and character later in their lifetimes. Now suppose, that such a susceptible creature, is exposed to themes and content that are totally inappropriate to them, e.g. the continuous crave for joy and completely new tastes, as is the key component in many food ads. This child, not only never learns to resist his instinctive temptation to seek every new product and new form of indulgence, but instead, totally craves for and actively seeks to engross himself/ herself in such experiences, while absolutely disregarding how it will affect his/her health condition. This lucidly translates to higher rates of obese and sick people that greatly afflict the society as a whole.


My second argument insists on the necessity of learning more crucial skills all children, ought to learn, but actually are overridden by TV ads. So as is the case in numerous ads, the plot contains an individual who is having a challenge or problem, and all of a sudden, out of thin air, find out about the perfect solution, which supposedly was right before their eyes, namely the product. This mentality leads him/her to believe that great solution just happen, without any hard work and perseverance, and this is exceedingly far from what happens in real life situations.


I've already touched on this matter, but to shed more light on it, I emphasize the adverse effect that TV ads on children's mental and physical health. Myriad of products that are incessantly advertised on TV, puts their dental health in danger, like many of the sweats and ice creams, the same goes for salty products like snacks and sausage , that later translate into high blood pressure.

All in all, the disadvantages clearly outweighs the almost nonexistent advantages of watching TV in children.

Expand the idea and organize it as far as you can, but make sure that this way won't take time a lot in any case.
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once again, Grammar
just a few typos
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[mani_faz]

Hi every one, thanks for all of your constructive criticisms.
This is for tpo 11, I have corrected the spelling errors( 7 for integrated,9 for independent)

Integrated part
The comments that the lecturer make on the content of passage, clearly exhibits that she believes that the text has lost the big picture of the issue and also neglects many crucial detail pertinent to the decline of literature.

Reading the passage, one might get the misleading conception that literature pieces are the only true form of high caliber, intellectually stimulating, kind of books accessible to lay public in today market. In contrast, the professors astutely stress that, that's far from truth, since there are many well-written professional captivating books written in areas like popular science, political analysis, and history that can induce the same kind of curiosity and cause individuals to think more critically.

The professor also calls attention to another delusion presented in the reading, the notion that only literary works contribute genuinely to culmination of culture in the society. Whereas, in reality, there are a variety of artworks that play the same pivotal role in escalating the level of cultural appreciation in modern world communities. She specifically talks about fascinating, mind boggling, tracks of music and captivating carefully-directed movies that many people today spend their time on, and take great interest in, because of the high level of aesthetics and contemplation in such works, that cultivate their imagination.

The last remark is about the alleged declined interest of audience in literature that is considered to be blameworthy for the decreased investment in literature by publishers. She concretely states that, this situation is more created because of the murky quality of today literature writers rather than the alteration in audience taste. To illustrate this, she emphasizes that many books written now, are not even appreciated by the more senescent audience who read more avariciously before, simply because books are just difficult to read and present nothing new.
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Independent: Some believe that Internet is providing a lot of valuable information, others think much information creates problems.

From the very first day we first laid our feet on this planet, we continuously faced an increasing need for acquiring information, and this very same necessity, led us to the invention of many modern forms of mass communication and broadcasting, the most recent of which, is magnificent invention of internet. I chiefly advocate and endorse the argument, that the widespread access to information, made possible by the internet, has provided us with numerous advantages and benefit, which entirely dominate the pitfalls of such massive access to content.

The universal access to the information, regardless of age, race, socioeconomic status, is exhilarating and a great tool for modern societies that are constantly looking for better, more efficient ways of promoting democracy. To clarify this, one just need to consider how harder it is now, for governments and other political institution, to pursue their mendacious goals, by spreading fallacious information about their inner working through mass broadcasting of false news that indoctrinate people into their designated goals. This is due to the empowering power of internet, which grants access to everyone, to test and analyze the authenticity of each tiny piece of information in ambivalent neutral third parties that publish and propagate information, using their websites.


Another equally important faculty of internet, is that it enables individuals to access free openly available source on the net. The most well-known example of this, is the massive online encyclopedias which are consistently perused by experts in the fields, for validity, and thus provide extremely accurate information, on almost all areas of human knowledge.


Recently the rise and popularization of massive online course providers has in turn, revealed another great potential of internet. The possibility and opportunity of accessing the best videos and tutoring on most of the scientific discipline, just using an internet connection. One just needs to think about the tremendous implication this has on underdeveloped, less illiterate, parts of world. Children and even grownups in these areas, can greatly benefit from these online courses and lecture, by improving their employability in their very fragile and complicated economies, through raising awareness about common misconceptions and false beliefs that exacerbate their already misfortunate situation, both for themselves and by dispensing this information among other members of communities.


All in all, in light of the presented arguments and reasons, I believe it's really hard to miss on great opportunities and benefits, created by the existence of this mean of universal access to information, and argue for its possibly negligible down falls.

[masoud677]

با سلام نمونه رایتینگ بنده رو اگر ممکنه نگاهی بندازین
من قبلا نمره 21 گرفتم میخوام نمره رایتینگ رو به 25 برسونم سه هفته تا امتحان دارم تو این رایتینگ غلط املایی ها رو درست کردم البته بهتره بگم غلط تایپی برای همین تعدادشون را 5 تا 6 تا در نظر بگیرید.

Do you agree or disagree with this idea:
Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed
Use specific reason and examples to support your idea.

In every home around the world, people have television for entertainment or other purposes. It is not surprising that every company wants to show some of its advertisement through television to improve its situation in markets. However, some companies utilize some methods to gain the attention of little children, this kind of business is designed for only marketing though; there are some side effects which should be considered especially for very tiny children.

Children generally cannot distinguish whatever is right or not, fantasy or real and etc. They live in a world without any tricks or lies; therefore, they can be easily adversely affected by some advertisements. Children cannot understand the border between reality and imagination. There are some evidences that some children hurt themselves after some advertisements or TV shows. Moreover, these kinds of advertisements which really want to envision a fantasy world cannot be analyzed truly by children; therefore, they cannot understand which kind of reaction in a real world is acceptable or not.

Some children really want everything they see, especially from TV. Some psychologists believe that parent should control the unnecessary demands of little children; otherwise, the real world can be very bad experience in the future. Therefore, some advertisements can disturb relationships in families, because they have bad effects such as after the rejection of the parents who want to refuse buying a toy. Children may think that their parents are not appropriate because they don`t act similar to some advertisements displaying some unrealistic parents who buy everything without any question.

In conclusion I think it is better to control some advertisements which envision some situations not being realistic. Children cannot distinguish exact meaning of some advertisements, especially when they want to imitate themselves. They should be older to figure out the exact message of TV advertising. In addition, some TV advertisings, including some other programs, can envision unrealistic behaviors in a family. Children may want to compare their parents to unrealistic people in TV advertising, which cause more struggling in families.

[nazhinee]

سلام دوستان ... لطفا یه نگاهی به نوشته منم بندازین ... خیلی خیلی ممنون
It is an indisputable fact that everyone wants to become successful in his/her vocation, university research, and so forth. But one of the most controversial questions which is often raised regarding this issue is that how do prosperous persons become successful? Two main lane of thought can be seen in the society. Some may argue that those people try new things and take risks, however, others may adopt a fully different stance and assert that they do what they already know. Personally speaking, I believe that successful people try new things and venture in their life and there are ample reasons which delineate this opinion. Two of which are: the rate of changes is very fast in this modern era and virtually through risking we can improve a lot.
First of all, the rate of changes in this modern era is too high. Every other day, we encounter new technologies, devices, methods and plenty of other new stuffs that without knowing how to utilize them to be skillful, we cannot seek a prospering venture. Online shopping is one of the most significant empirical witnesses that presages my point of view. For example, in my town there are a lot of stores that sell cellphones, but the first store that begin providing online shopping for its customers, is the most successful one. However, he was a skillful shopkeeper, but by means of new technologies such as internet he could earn more. Starting is easy, persistence is an art and I believe persistence is adjusting ourselves to the rate of changes.
The second reason which is worth mentioning is that by risking we can improve our skills. I strongly assert that when we venture, whether we succeed or even fail, we have won, because if we will succeed, obviously we have won, but if we fail, we have learnt a new thing and that is what things not to do in order to succeed. Seldom do we can find anybody that is disagree with the fact that failure makes smart. Thomas Edison efforts express this idea marvelously. He did one thousands experiments for one of his inventions and in every his failure others discouraged him, but he posited that he learned new things from his failures and this is why, eventually, he succeeded. So taking risk not only makes us stronger but also teaches us how to become more successful.
In conclusion, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that trying new things and taking risks are inevitable parts of a successful person. So try again, fail again, and fail better.

[mandana25]

سلام دوستان
لطفا رایتینگ من رو هم تصحیح کنید متاسفانه وقتی پاسخ به موضوع رو میزنم قسمتی برا اپلود فایل وجود نداره؟ چرا؟
ممنونم
http://s3.picofile.com/file/8206672126/tpo3.docx

[ipot]

سلام به همگی خصوصا اقا سامان, مرسی به خاطر زحمات بیدریغ

لطفا این integrated essay رو هم یه نگاهی بش بندازین. مرسی دوست عزیز

[Mojdeh_s]

سلام دوستان، ممنون میشم اگر نظرتون رو راجع به رایتینگ من بگید.

Question: Some students prefer classes with open discussions between the professor and students and almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with lectures and almost no discussions. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Education is a very important part of our lives. It provides us with valuable skills and knowledge for life, and is mostly offered in classrooms of universities. Some people believe that classes with open discussion between the professor and students and almost no lecture are more beneficial, while others are in the favor of classes with all lectures. I personaly prefer the latter one for two important reasons.
First, in classes with only lectures you learn faster. The teacher use the time of the class to fully develop facts and concepts with detailed explanetions that helps us to aquire the information quickly which may not be possible with the interruption of other students. For instance, when I decided to enter the graduate school, three years ago, I took some classes to prepare myself for the entrance university exam. One of the classes was the introductory to the mechanic of materials, which is a very sophisticated subject in my field, civil engineering. I remember the professor would dedicate whole the three hours of every session to cover one of the chapters, and he would do that with the most up-to-date and complete information that he could. As a result of that we learned every subject easily in the class without the need to review it in home, so we saved a huge amount time to enhance other skills needed for the test. As you can see, a class with all lectures offers students with so much knowledge to acquire the lessons with the least effor and the least time.
Second, you can have discussions with other students after class. In the classroom the professor teaches students the necessary information so that they can exchange them afterward to clarify the concepts better. For instance, in highschool I had a chemistry class. Each session the teacher would provide us with the principles of different subjects and their applications in our every day life. After class, we would gather to review them and also find another examples in the world around us. Therefore, all the concepts would fix into our minds forever. If we would do it in the class, it could have hurt us because it would have use up the time of class that our teacher would fill us with so much information.
In sum, having classes with only lecture and no discussions will benefit us in a way that we can learn faster and save our precious time, and also we can have discussions and exchange our knowledge with the classmates after class. Teachers should all present their classes with profound lectures so that the efficiency of them would be increased.