نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[chemistrymaste]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان و همه عزیزانی که الان مشغول نوشتن رایتینگ هستن!
و عرض ارادت دارم خدمت خانم مینو و آقای سامان که زحمت رایتینگای ما رو میکشن.
این رایتینگ منه، دوستان اگه لطف کنن نگاهی بندازن بهشون، منو بسیار خوشحال میکنن و ممنونشون میشم.
Highways or public transportation?

Transportation system is considered of the most important propellants, affecting people lives in a society. A prosperous transportation system contains several portions which highways, roads, and public transportation system are located among the prominent parts. But if government finds itself in a stage of defining its priorities in transportation, should it place higher importance on public transportation facilities or should it prefer to invest more on highways and roads? There are many advantages in investing on roads and highways; as far as I am concerned, these advantages cannot surpass the benefits of investing on public transportation systems.

In the first place, I would like to say (please tell me a better phrase), we will have fewer air pollution in case of improving public transportation; moreover, government can manage to construct overpasses like S-bahn in Germany for public transportation travelers. The above mentioned overpasses help passengers reach the fascinating and picturesque landscape of the whole city which amazes any tourist and helps local people to feel more comfort and enjoy their travel.

In the second place, in case of tourists (I couldn’t find any better phrase! Would you please tell me a better one? Many thanks!) advances public transportation system helps visitors and new people to spend fewer money to rent taxi; besides, they can get to know more about local people and get familiar with the culture of the visited city. Coupled with, spending money to promote public transportation system, solves traffic problems, explicitly during rush hours; the most significant point is that there will be no need to produce cars in huge numbers or import in enormous quantities. Correspondingly, government doesn’t have to allocate much place to establish parking lots (or area???), highways and roads; rather, government can order to build parks and kindergartens.

Another key point, if we make an effort to improve the public transportation system of the place we live in, we won’t need to stay at long oil / gasoline lines or wash our car frequently; we will spend fewer money for insurance; comparatively, the probability of occurring grotesque and painful accidents diminishes; nobody will suffer from unpleasant noises of cars. Besides, the most important point is that the amount of water which is spent to wash the car, will be saved. Albeit, if we have a futuristic look toward unrenewable resources, I dare to say, we will save these resources for the next generations.

Given these points, we will have fewer air pollution, can reach a better landscape of the city, prepare more comfort and acquisition for tourists, reduce traffic problems and save the time, money, and renewable resources. Furthermore, less accidents will be occurred and we won’t suffer from unpleasant noises produced by cars, if we give more value to public transportation system.

[raminziaei]

سلام و با تشکر از همه عزیزانی که زحمت تصحیح نوشته های مارُ میکشن.
بیزحمت این انشاء رو هم بخونید و اگه نکته توش وجود داره بهم بگین. پیشاپیش با تشنر
Integrated (TPO#4)

The text and the article offer two opposing views on whether dinosaurs were endotherms. While the text lists reasons to be supportive of the idea that suggests they were endotherms, the professor counters those specific points and says that many scientists do not believe that dinosaurs were endotherms. He uses some examples and explanations to come to her conclusion.

First, the reading claims that finding dinosaurs fossils in polar areas is an evidence that supports the idea that they were endotherms because they could tolerate such a cold environment. The professor refutes this point by saying that in the past, polar regions were much warmer that today. In fact, they were warm enough to support such animals. Moreover, in the cold seasons, they might have migrated to warmer areas or they might have hibernated as a means to stay alive.

Second, the article posits that because dinosaurs' legs were located underneath their bodies, they could easily and efficiently run which is one of the characteristics that endotherms have. However, the professor states that the location of their legs does not necessarily mean that they were endotherms. In fact, there were used to support their huge weights, and because of them, they could grow to a large size which was considered as an advantage for them.

Finally, the reading says that there is a direct connection between endothermy and bone structure. In addition, the bones of endotherms usually include Haversian canals which make it possible for animals to grow quickly, and because dinosaurs' fossils show that their bones were full of these canals, the reading claims it as an evidence to show that they were endotherms. The professor opposes this point by explaining that the growth rate was not constant and consistent among dinosaurs according to the thickening ring which was observed in their fossils. There some evidence that show their growth had stopped for a while or had slowed down, and again, it had accelerated. On the contrast, endotherms have a constant rate of growth which indicates that dinosaurs were not endotherms.

In conclusion, the professor with some points in the lecture proves that the main idea in the reading is in doubt.

[minoosaba]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان و همه عزیزانی که الان مشغول نوشتن رایتینگ هستن!
و عرض ارادت دارم خدمت خانم مینو و آقای سامان که زحمت رایتینگای ما رو میکشن.
این رایتینگ منه، دوستان اگه لطف کنن نگاهی بندازن بهشون، منو بسیار خوشحال میکنن و ممنونشون میشم.
Highways or public transportation?

Transportation system is considered of the most important propellants, affecting people lives in a society. A prosperous transportation system contains several portions which highways, roads, and public transportation system are located among the prominent parts. But if government finds itself in a stage of defining its priorities in transportation, should it place higher importance on public transportation facilities or should it prefer to invest more on highways and roads? There are many advantages in investing on roads and highways; as far as I am concerned, these advantages cannot surpass the benefits of investing on public transportation systems.

In the first place, I would like to say (please tell me a better phrase), we will have fewer air pollution in case of improving public transportation; moreover, government can manage to construct overpasses like S-bahn in Germany for public transportation travelers. The above mentioned overpasses help passengers reach the fascinating and picturesque landscape of the whole city which amazes any tourist and helps local people to feel more comfort and enjoy their travel.

In the second place, in case of tourists (I couldn’t find any better phrase! Would you please tell me a better one? Many thanks!) advances public transportation system helps visitors and new people to spend fewer money to rent taxi; besides, they can get to know more about local people and get familiar with the culture of the visited city. Coupled with, spending money to promote public transportation system, solves traffic problems, explicitly during rush hours; the most significant point is that there will be no need to produce cars in huge numbers or import in enormous quantities. Correspondingly, government doesn’t have to allocate much place to establish parking lots (or area???), highways and roads; rather, government can order to build parks and kindergartens.

Another key point, if we make an effort to improve the public transportation system of the place we live in, we won’t need to stay at long oil / gasoline lines or wash our car frequently; we will spend fewer money for insurance; comparatively, the probability of occurring grotesque and painful accidents diminishes; nobody will suffer from unpleasant noises of cars. Besides, the most important point is that the amount of water which is spent to wash the car, will be saved. Albeit, if we have a futuristic look toward unrenewable resources, I dare to say, we will save these resources for the next generations.

Given these points, we will have fewer air pollution, can reach a better landscape of the city, prepare more comfort and acquisition for tourists, reduce traffic problems and save the time, money, and renewable resources. Furthermore, less accidents will be occurred and we won’t suffer from unpleasant noises produced by cars, if we give more value to public transportation system.

درود.
فایل ضمیمه شد.
متنتون خوب بود .
موفق باشید.

[minoosaba]

با سلام لطفا نظرتان را درباره رایتینگ زیر بفرمایید من دنبال نمره 25 هستم.فقط سه تا غلط تایپی داشتم.

Do you agree or disagree with this following statement:
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Creation is the first characteristic, distinguishes human from other animals. Our civilization, wealth, protective equipment and technological gadgets have been made of the power of our mind; or in the other word, ability of creation. Therefore it is not surprising that we should be more careful, because our modern industries will really need creative generation who are now child right now. However, I think the concerns of bad effects of new technologies on children`s mind is not always true.

I can nominate more useful technological and modern gadgets which have improved the standards of education. It is not surprising that the old-fashioned system of education had more problems in neglecting the smartness of children in classes. They forced children to memorize all materials rather than perceive and analyze them. One of the reasons of choosing these impractical methods was the lack of technology in classes. Teachers had plenty of students in classes and they had to teach all of them evenly. Therefore, without helpful technological gadgets like computers, internet and other sources, students were fully depended on their teachers without any expectation of opportunity to discover more things. Therefore, we can claim that more creative generation would be in the future.

The second reason is that some people cannot understand the usage of new technologies and unfortunately exaggerate the harmfulness of the technologies too. Some people think that all children use new technologies as the entertainment tools instead of useful books. They don`t know about a vast domain on the internet, which is specialized for electronic books, encyclopedias and, more generally topic, science. Children can find anything more effectively through the internet. Therefore, being among all resources of information can provide an opportunity to enhance the creation of children. Because of some limited accesses to information in the past; therefore, creation was an unexpected phenomenon in societies.

In conclusion, I think we should accept the fact that new technologies like computers and internet have improved the standards of education. Moreover, more access to up-dated information can provided more opportunities to improve the new ideas and creation especially for children.

درود.
فایل مربوطه ضمیمه شد.
موفق باشید.

[minoosaba]

سلام، خوشحال میشم نظر دوستان رو راجع به این رایتینگ هم بدونم.
پیشاپیش سپاسگذارم

Question

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Our planet is a very important part of our existence. It is where we are born, grow up and die. Some people believe that the Earth is becoming a better place due to human activities, while others say that human activities have caused the Earth severe damages. In my view, because of our doings the Earth is going to be an inhospitable place in the near future for two important reasons.
First, human activities have posed a drastic pollution on our planet. The things that people do in order to improve their living standards, actually have another side which harms the Earth. For example, the convention of automobiles has facilitated the way we commute. These automobiles such as private cars, public buses and so forth use natural resources like oil in order to operate that consequently add pollution to the environment. Industrial factories work and produce their products in the same way. As you can see, all activities that humans do to improve their lives, in fact cause serious problem to the Earth.
Second, people have changed the environment tremendously. When they go on vacation they leave their trash in the environment, they pollute clean waters, all of which cause damage to the Earth. For example, people use plastic bags as containers for their wastes, use plastic bottles, or even plastic plates, all of which never decomposes. They will stay in the nature forever. None of these could ever existed if it weren’t for the sake of the betterment of humans. As it is clear, all kind of materials that people use and the process in which they are made cause inevitable damage to our planet.
In conclusion, human activities add pollution to the Earth, and also they change the environment in a way that is not possible to restore to its original state. Let us hope in the coming years people become more aware of the consequences of their actions and become socially responsible in safeguarding our precious planet.

درود
فایل مربوطه ضمیمه شد.
موفق باشید.

[Habib_Nobakht]

نمونه ی رایتینگ من از TPO 4. غلط های املایی تصحیح نشده ن.
در صورت امکان، نظرتون رو در باره ی این نمونه بگید. و به نظرتون این رایتینگ چه نمره ای می تونه بگیره؟


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


This issue is one of the important issues in a lot of field of studies such as environmental studies and economics. although human beings are aware of the bad effects of using cars and other machines, but because of their tendency to having convenient life, using this convenient utensils will increase in next years. I vemently reject this idea because of a lot of reasons, three of most conspicuous reasons comes hereunder.
Firtly, there is no doubt that all of the people want to have a convenient life without any dissonance. the majority of people want to have comfortable and quick transportations. because of this tendency they will use more cars in order to arrive faster to their workplaces. for example, people have not any interest to walk whole the path that they can pass it in 5 minutes by car.
Secondly, people can be tempted by a lot of advertisement which advertise cars in order to convince people to buy their production. in my opinion, these car producing companies which use a lot of new convincing methods in seducing people, will be able to reach their goals. in addition, because of their influence in governments in some contries they can escape from limitations in producing cars.
last but not least, in developing countries and underdeveloped countries there will be increasing demand for buying cars, and because of the corruptions in government and lack of appropriate management methods, producing and selling cars will be out of control. in addition, because of this fact that the majority of these countries have not any specific and strict guidlines in preventing from pollution, the car producing companies will be able to produce low quality and air polluting cars, by low costs. it is obvious that low producing costs and cheaper cars will increase people's demand.
With taking these reasons into account, I strictly disagree with this idea that in next years, there will be fewer cars in use. although it can happens in some developed countries, but it it not reasonable to generalize it to all countries.

[minoosaba]

سلام دوستان ... لطفا یه نگاهی به نوشته منم بندازین ... خیلی خیلی ممنون
It is an indisputable fact that everyone wants to become successful in his/her vocation, university research, and so forth. But one of the most controversial questions which is often raised regarding this issue is that how do prosperous persons become successful? Two main lane of thought can be seen in the society. Some may argue that those people try new things and take risks, however, others may adopt a fully different stance and assert that they do what they already know. Personally speaking, I believe that successful people try new things and venture in their life and there are ample reasons which delineate this opinion. Two of which are: the rate of changes is very fast in this modern era and virtually through risking we can improve a lot.
First of all, the rate of changes in this modern era is too high. Every other day, we encounter new technologies, devices, methods and plenty of other new stuffs that without knowing how to utilize them to be skillful, we cannot seek a prospering venture. Online shopping is one of the most significant empirical witnesses that presages my point of view. For example, in my town there are a lot of stores that sell cellphones, but the first store that begin providing online shopping for its customers, is the most successful one. However, he was a skillful shopkeeper, but by means of new technologies such as internet he could earn more. Starting is easy, persistence is an art and I believe persistence is adjusting ourselves to the rate of changes.
The second reason which is worth mentioning is that by risking we can improve our skills. I strongly assert that when we venture, whether we succeed or even fail, we have won, because if we will succeed, obviously we have won, but if we fail, we have learnt a new thing and that is what things not to do in order to succeed. Seldom do we can find anybody that is disagree with the fact that failure makes smart. Thomas Edison efforts express this idea marvelously. He did one thousands experiments for one of his inventions and in every his failure others discouraged him, but he posited that he learned new things from his failures and this is why, eventually, he succeeded. So taking risk not only makes us stronger but also teaches us how to become more successful.
In conclusion, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that trying new things and taking risks are inevitable parts of a successful person. So try again, fail again, and fail better.

درود.
فایلتون ضمیمه شد.
موفق باشید.

[anil87]

سلام و خسته نباشید خدمت همه نویسندگان و تصحیح کنند گان. در صورت امکان انشا من رو هم ارزیابی بفرمایید و نظرتون رو درمورد نمره ش بگید.

با تشکر

subject : characteristics of effective parents

Definitely parents are the most effective individuals in any body’s life. They always make their best to provide their children with best facilities in addition to make them happy. In my view, two of the most important factors of effective parents are taking responsibilities of their children and caring about their emotional needs.
First, parents are responsible to provide the children with primary needs such as shelter, food, health and clothing in best qualities. Moreover, they should behave carefully due to children always consider their parents as their life patterns. Therefore , they would teach them moralities such as honesty and loyalty. Effective parents design a plan for the future of the kids, insisting on it with patience and tact. Based on the plan, they should provide the children with educational facilities and long term curriculums , prepare them for hard working, teach them to persevere when facing difficulties which all lead to standing on their own feet. They might also detect the kids talents and interests, directing them in correct path. Guide them to achieve various skills and making right decision about their future occupation. They ought to spend time with the youth , analyzing their behavior in order to prevent disasters such as villain’s abuse of the youth for instance deceiving them to take drugs.
On the other hand, they should take care of children’s emotional requirements. Fathers and mothers have to establish a friendly relationship with the adolescents in such a way that the teenagers consider them as reliable persons to a extent that reveal their secrets to parents. They should respect their children and their beliefs, even consult with them, utilizing their opinions, making them feel being valuable. They must give them a sense of security in urgent situations with their advices and also empathy. Parents may make understanding of sensitive conditions in which the kid has got into trouble. In such situations, not only they shouldn’t severely criticize him but also encourage him to solve the problem . In a nutshell, fathers and mothers should create a happy and attractive atmosphere in the house into which the children enthusiastically are absorbed and feel secure.
All in all, based on the above reasons, I believe that the most important characteristics of effective parents are being responsible about primary needs, training the children, educational issues and also considerate to emotional needs of their children.

[Habib_Nobakht]

از دوستان مصحح و صاحب نظر خواهش می کنم، یه نگاه اجمالی به به نوشته ی من بندازن!
خواستم پیچیده ش کنم، ولی فک کنم سردرگم شده م.
میشه نظرتون رو در باره ی نمره ی این انشا بگید؟ و این که، این انشا on-topic هست؟

411 کلمه، کلا 4 تا غلط املایی داشت که تصحیح شده.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Advanced communications technologies such as email and texting have made our lives more impersonal.

since the beginning of this technology age there was a blaze of controversy between two advocates of technology's good and bad effects in human's life. the impersonality of internet and cellphone users also has been one of the major issues on today's world. although there is a lot of advantages in using new technologies, I personally believe that these new technologies such as E-mails and texting have made people impersonal. I have a lot of reasons for my standpoint two of most conspicuous reasons comes as followings:
the communication is one of the main needs of us and there is no doubt that it should be considered as one of our important preferences. E-mail and texting are the new ways offered by new companies in order to allow people to having fast communications. But I believe that using these technologies will not satisfy our need to communication. In addition, having face-to-face communication with other people can be helpful in being in psychological well-being. furthermore, in face-to-face meetings we can recognize our friends emotions and appropriately respond to them. and it is clear that it will improve our intimacy and emotional intelligence. on the other hand, in E-mailing and chatting we can not get involved in a really satisfactory relationship and all aspects of relationship is based on just messages that is sent. and there is not clear that what does really feel our contacts which is beyond of his/her device.
my second reason is based on security of being involved in such a non-personal communication. there are two major problems. first, these communications can be unsafe because it is possible that we lose some private information and there is also possible that other people by using impersonal profile and being friend with us, indignity us, by sharing our private massages and images. second, these technologies' low prizes seems to be unusual. no governmental or private company does not offer such type of free or low cost facilities for people. in Fact there is a reasonable paranoid attitude towards companies which offer texting, E-mail and free message sending. furthermore, these companies are suspected to sell our information to some government owned departments. Does any common sense accept such type of insecurity in these new communications?
all in all, although using these new technologies is unavoidable, but it really impersonalized people in their relationships. I always try to involve in face-to-face communication which is only thing that met my need to personal communication.

[nazhinee]

سلام
وقت همگی بخیر و ممنون از دوستانی که زحمت می شکن. لطفا نگاهی هم به این متن بندازین و نظراتتون رو بگید.
بازم ممنون

Young people do not give enough time to helping their communities. Agree or disagree?

Youth are one of the most essential part of the communities. Young people are the main resources of labor for developing a country and ,on the other hand, countries must care about their young people in order to provide their needs, and hence communities and their youth are mutually dependent on each other. Some people believe young ones gives enough time to helping their communities nowadays; conversely, others think they do not give enough time and attention to help their communities. From my point of view, youth , these days, do not care enough of their communities. There exists ample of reasons which illustrates my opinion; two which of those are: communities do not support youth, and individualism is growing more and more.First of all, communities do not support young people as well. It is their responsibility to create jobs, recreational facilities,and so forth in order to reveal a bright future for them ,and consequently if youth see such these toil from their community, they would give adequate time to helping the community in reaction. Unfortunately, seldom do we find communities with such a responsibility. For example, in my country government does not care about youth vocational education, so youth does not think whether the county need them to develop thi industry or not, likewise. Thus, communities are in charge for their irresponsible youth.In addition, nowadays individualism has grown, however, social networks have become an inevitable part of the communities. Since lives are becoming harder and harder these days and, people simply think about themselves rather consider or feel sympathy about others. For example, when a young person can not balance his/her costs and incomes, h/she does not care what is going on in his community; he want to afford his/her needs prior to his/her comunity's needs. So, growth of individualism persuade young people not to give time for their communities.By the way of conclusion, although some may think young people care about their communities, others contend an opposite point of view. I strongly agree with latter views, because not only do communities support their youth, but also youth are not responsible enough nowadays; even though I can envision a bright future if communities and youth supported each other.