نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[mani_faz]

Hi everyone. This is for tpo 13. Thanks for your comment beforehand.
Integrated part: (4 spelling error’s been corrected)
The lecturers believe that although salvage logging might sound like an attractive alternative at first, once one consider a longer period of time, it becomes evident that it can cause serious damage to the forest, and that economical gain it provides, in unstable and transient.


Reading the passage, one may get the wrong notion that salvage logging is doing good to the forest environment by allowing and making up space for the growth of new trees. In contrast, if we consider the situation which is caused by stopping the natural decomposition of dead trees, which in fact just deprives the soil from acquiring necessary minerals essential to its future recovery, the advantages of salvage logging instantly lose significance especially in the long run. Meaning that the future poor soil cannot support the necessary milieu for growth of new trees anymore.

Furthermore, even though it is rightfully stated in the passage that the presence of dead trees increase the population of insects, the effect of these insect is not as detrimental as it suggests. Concretely speaking, spruce bark beetles have been living in the forest for hundreds of years, without ever causing an anomaly and problem to the ecological conditions of the forests. What's more, dead trees also constitute a large habitat for other species beside insects, like birds. Taking the dead trees away from the forest, is tantamount to destructing the natural habitat of such species, which leads to an imbalance in the ecological circumstances.


In addition to that, there are serious doubts on the efficacy of economical benefits that occur as a result of salvage logging. For instance, the process of acquiring the dead wood for economic uses later, usually requires expensive equipment that totally neutralize their future use as raw material in the factories, as is indicated in the reading. Besides, complex costly additional processes should be deployed to use the dead woods, compared to natural intact wood which further increases the cost. On another note, the jobs created in this way that the text mentions, are mostly filled by external workforce who have special training and skills, thus actually negligibly contributing to decreasing the local employability.

Independent : Is it more beneficial to travel inside your country rather than visiting foreign countries?
Since the advent of motorized vehicles, traveling across countries and continents has constantly gained popularity, and has become a less cumbersome, expensive activity, restricted to esoteric individuals, becoming a more accessible form of entertainment for people. Having said that, I would argue that people still gain far more benefits from traveling inside their own countries, than they would traveling abroad. I \delve into the reasons that support this perspective in the rest of my essay.

The most obvious advantage of traveling inside one's country, is that it's substantially cheaper than taking a vacation abroad. This decreased economical pressure, also makes room for more types of recreational activities during your trip. I mean, you can start to spend the additional sum of money, on more crucial activities like going surfing and eating luxury that obviously enhance the whole experience. What's more, the additional money can be spent to include more people in the trip, which definitely elevates the level of enjoyment and satisfaction you would get from your vacations.


From a different perspective, opting for in-country traveling has some indirect benefits. Nowadays, sustainable local economies are commonly suggested by economic experts, as means to prevent financial recessions and havoc in communities. Spending money in different regions of your country, through activates like dining at restaurants, accommodation in local hotels, visiting natural parks and museums in the area, all significantly contribute to strengthen the economy of the region, through supporting the local businesses and services that would otherwise fail and vanish after some time.

On a more important note, seeing various parts of your country, familiarize one with all ethnicities and dialect present, and rites and traditions they evince, which on a large scale and in the long run, translates into cultivating a feeling of unity and common interest. This acquired feeling, will discourage individuals intrinsically, from racial discrimination and mockery of certain minority groups, which I view to be an astounding achievement culturally.

To sum it up, I think it's not hard to see the manifold advantages that in country traveling provides in the light of presented arguments and reason, and I believe everyone will concur with me on this matter.

[mani_faz]

Hi. It seems no one has corrected my last 7 writings. Anyway, I’m still looking forward to that. This is for tpo 15. I have one question: I think that in the independent part, the last reason is kind of off-topic, am I right about that?
Integrated: (6 spelling errors)
It can be inferred from the lecture, that the professor firmly believes that the solutions proposed in the passage cannot effectively exterminate cane toads or even worse can eventuate in ecological disasters.

The statement that a national fence will prevent cane toads to dominate unaffected areas seems very unlikely, because a simple observation shows that most of the cane toad's eggs lie in streams and river, and undoubtedly a fence won't stop the flow of currents, no matter where it's built, as a result, this plan is doomed to fail, since just a few young cane toads and their eggs are enough for the colonization of intact areas.

Furthermore, the professor has compelling reasons that make her believe that an attempt to eradicate cane toads using massive and nationwide volunteering program might have the wanted goal, but will also have several devastating by products. This is due to the fact that, most of these volunteers are inexperienced individuals who do not have much knowledge about how to distinguish cane toads from other native frogs in Australia, a distinction that is even hard to make for professional ecologists, thus they will also harm and kill the native frogs, that play an important role in balancing the ecosystem, which at the end causes imbalance in the nature.

In addition to that, eliminating cane toads from their habitats by use of a virus that exclusively affect them so that they fail to reproduce and grow, is also a perilous endeavor that may bring about disastrous outcomes. That's because some pet collectors and scientists will inadvertently move these infected frogs, to other parts of the world, like South America the original habitat of these creatures, and considering the high rate of spread of the virus, soon it will afflict local indigenous frogs, and will lead to a steep decrease in their numbers. This in turn, acutely affect the whole cycle of ecosystem adversely and might lead to unrecoverable changes, due to the importance of cane toads in the ecosystem there.

Independent: Do you think is it a good idea to teach young children about money so that they become financially responsible adults?(7 spelling errors)
Undoubtedly, one of the greatest concerns of almost all parents, is to raise their offspring so that they can lead a prosperous life and manage economic situations effectively in the future. This can be easily achieved by a proper early education and guidance that children receive from their parents. Therefore, I strongly concur that children who learn to handle money appropriately, will turn to financially responsible grownups. Below I explain in greater detail the support for such a belief.

As has been corroborated by a large body of psychological research, habit don't grow overnight and take substantial time to form. What's more, the same sources indicate, that humans habits and lifestyle in general are chiefly determined before you hit adolescence life. Combining these two premises, it is easy to see how much critical it is, to edify youngsters as early as 7 years, on how to utilize and manage pecuniary matters rationally. Thus in essence, early education about how to dealing with money logically and letting them to practice what they've been taught, can deeply instill in children's brain salubrious financial habits that guarantee a much smoother life. From my own experience, my parents designated a specific sum of money for me as pocket money of every week when I was 8, and I've learned how to accommodate my needs with that amount accordingly, and many people now know me as an individual who can adroitly avoid financial challenges by spending wisely.

From a more holistic view, if children learn to wisely manage their money, they will also have better luck in handling other unlimited resources available to them throughout their life. To elaborate more, consider how much more smoothly can this individual handle his time more effectively, because s/he can prognosticate to some extent, what will happen in the near future if s/he just take it easy and let things take their natural course of action, because s/he knows that the same mentality in financial matters can cause devastating outcomes. So basically, they will also outperform others without proper financial education in many aspects of life.

Besides that, the economy in this era is so unstable and chaotic, that only people with great financial skills are guaranteed to survive its turmoil and ups and downs. So I advocate the view that it's a crucial skill for everyone these days, who want to succeed in life to learn how to manipulate money. Now children who will have to go through the increasingly tougher economic situations in the course of their lives in the coming years, should be an important part of such a plan

[ipot]

Hey friends, could you take a glace at my essay. I appreciate it

[nasrin17]

salam, I am new here, I am preparing for toefl and I have an essay that needs to be evaluated by professionals. Thank you so much
1) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

From the very beginning of history people always wanted the better, the best and the most. In my opinion people always want to follow the flow of life by doing what others do, and they are never satisfied with what they have. I support this idea with two reasons. First most of us have low self esteems and the second is the desire to progress.
People want to improve their self confidence with objects and buying extra items. What cause this low self esteem lies in wrong education that their parents use, what I mean is that if the parents couldn’t play their role as a supportive teacher, children would suffer from a gap in their personality and they would seek the environment to fill the gap with extra and more stuff. The other cause of creating these kind of children is schools, they are not fixing the personality problems with the children. That’s why I say low self esteem makes people want more to feel good.
The last but not the least important reason for this issue is the desire to progress. People throughout the history always wanted to have the better life, and for having the better life they are always wanting more inventions, new things, new houses and new life. Advertisements are playing the most important role in triggering the people to want more. Companies want people buy more to make profit themselves. They create fads and trends and make people follow them to be happier. As a result people are always wanting more to make a better life for themselves.
To sum it up, this is obvious that people are not satisfied with their life, and they are always wanting more. Everyone would agree with this idea for two specific reasons I mentioned above. First of all low self esteem and the last the desire to progress are the two cause for the fact that people always want more than they need. I truly wish for a day that we humans get to understand the fact that these are all in vein.

[minoosaba]

salam, I am new here, I am preparing for toefl and I have an essay that needs to be evaluated by professionals. Thank you so much
1) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

From the very beginning of history people always wanted the better, the best and the most. In my opinion people always want to follow the flow of life by doing what others do, and they are never satisfied with what they have. I support this idea with two reasons. First most of us have low self esteems and the second is the desire to progress.
People want to improve their self confidence with objects and buying extra items. What cause this low self esteem lies in wrong education that their parents use, what I mean is that if the parents couldn’t play their role as a supportive teacher, children would suffer from a gap in their personality and they would seek the environment to fill the gap with extra and more stuff. The other cause of creating these kind of children is schools, they are not fixing the personality problems with the children. That’s why I say low self esteem makes people want more to feel good.
The last but not the least important reason for this issue is the desire to progress. People throughout the history always wanted to have the better life, and for having the better life they are always wanting more inventions, new things, new houses and new life. Advertisements are playing the most important role in triggering the people to want more. Companies want people buy more to make profit themselves. They create fads and trends and make people follow them to be happier. As a result people are always wanting more to make a better life for themselves.
To sum it up, this is obvious that people are not satisfied with their life, and they are always wanting more. Everyone would agree with this idea for two specific reasons I mentioned above. First of all low self esteem and the last the desire to progress are the two cause for the fact that people always want more than they need. I truly wish for a day that we humans get to understand the fact that these are all in vein.

درود.
فایل مربوطه ضمیمه شد.
موفق باشید.

[minoosaba]

نمونه ی رایتینگ من از TPO 4. غلط های املایی تصحیح نشده ن.
در صورت امکان، نظرتون رو در باره ی این نمونه بگید. و به نظرتون این رایتینگ چه نمره ای می تونه بگیره؟


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


This issue is one of the important issues in a lot of field of studies such as environmental studies and economics. although human beings are aware of the bad effects of using cars and other machines, but because of their tendency to having convenient life, using this convenient utensils will increase in next years. I vemently reject this idea because of a lot of reasons, three of most conspicuous reasons comes hereunder.
Firtly, there is no doubt that all of the people want to have a convenient life without any dissonance. the majority of people want to have comfortable and quick transportations. because of this tendency they will use more cars in order to arrive faster to their workplaces. for example, people have not any interest to walk whole the path that they can pass it in 5 minutes by car.
Secondly, people can be tempted by a lot of advertisement which advertise cars in order to convince people to buy their production. in my opinion, these car producing companies which use a lot of new convincing methods in seducing people, will be able to reach their goals. in addition, because of their influence in governments in some contries they can escape from limitations in producing cars.
last but not least, in developing countries and underdeveloped countries there will be increasing demand for buying cars, and because of the corruptions in government and lack of appropriate management methods, producing and selling cars will be out of control. in addition, because of this fact that the majority of these countries have not any specific and strict guidlines in preventing from pollution, the car producing companies will be able to produce low quality and air polluting cars, by low costs. it is obvious that low producing costs and cheaper cars will increase people's demand.
With taking these reasons into account, I strictly disagree with this idea that in next years, there will be fewer cars in use. although it can happens in some developed countries, but it it not reasonable to generalize it to all countries.

درود.
فایل مربوطه ضمیمه شد.
موفق باشید.

[Hamedshaho1]

سلام دوستان
میشه لطفا نظرتونو در مورد رایتینگ من بگین؟
البته غلطهای املاییش رو خودم درست کردم
خیلی متشکرم
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
University student should not be required to attend classes. Instead, they should be able to receive credits through a final test or paper.

Nowadays most people learn from universities that compel students to attend classes. Whereas some people are convinced by the fact that university students should be free of attending classes and just asses assess through their final exams, there are others holding the opinion that it should be obligatory that students being presented in their classes. As far as I am concerned, it is vital for university students to attend classes in that not only can being presented in classes help them to learn better, but also it makes them more motivated.
The first aspect to consider here is that being presented at classes is very important factor that proceed students to a better learning. First it has been proved toward experiences that students that attend classes regularly achieve better results in their exam. Then, it becomes a good habit in most of educational systems in the world. In addition, controlling of teachers over students process of learning is essential. Teachers teach facts to the students and with being in thought with someone, individuals will definitely learn better. They can ask their problems from the teachers or other classmates and revise their mistakes. Moreover, Students are being tested regularly through oral exams or quizzes or other kind of evaluations that force them to study regularly.
Another subtle point which deserves a keen contemplation here is that attending classes put a positive influence on students to study and learn more efficiently. The key point is competing with other students. For example, a class that is full of girls and boys from different countries and nations could have a competitive environment that unconsciously forces students to study. Students want to be better than other students and prove that their gender, nationality, or age is better than the other, so they will study harder and harder. This is the most effective way of better learning. Also a good teacher can influence one that becomes more motivated and study harder. For instance, giving prize to students and clapping for them can influence their better studying. Although students that did not receive gifts may become a little disappointed, they will do harder and harder to approach the prizes in future.
By taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, one might come to the conclusion that attending classes is vital for the students. Students will learn deeply and with an excellent emotion toward their lessons. It is high time that everyone considered attending their classes so seriously.

[nazhinee]

سلام
بازم ممنون از لطف دوستانی که زحمت می شکن. این مربوط به tpo27 هست.
پیروز باشید
Taking risk in everyday life has become an indisputable part of the status quo. Most of us envision a better way of living, hence we pay a lot of attention to our following opportunities which are either a new job or a new friend. Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that people should accept every single opportunity they encounter, for example, the first secure job; However, others have an opposite attitude. From my point of view, we must consider our job opportunities from different aspects rather readily accept the first one. There are ample of reasons which illustrate my opinionsFirst of all, in most cases, being patient works. In the matter of fact, making decision hastily does not have an acceptable result; on the hand, pondering on advantages and disadvantages of any decision, however, is a little time consuming, it leads to a satisfying decision. A small example may give some light to this point. After graduating from high school, I found an opportunity to have a prospering job; although it was astonishing for a teenager, I like to continue my education. So, I decided to go to the university and right after the graduation, thanks to my higher education, I found a better job chance. Hence, it is only the matter time that reveals us the consequences of time and we must think about our opportunities more patiently.Moreover, there is also a more subtle point we can consider. All of us seek a pleasant offer and the first secure offer is not always the best one and, personally speaking, most of the time opportunities linger for a period of time until we have sufficient abilities. In other words, by improving our skills we can obtain better opportunities that suit us more. For example, a friend of mine had a lot of job offers, but he rejected them one by one. Once, I asked him why you are refusing all of his chances, and he answered:" The more I become knowledgeable, the more chances I have, I should still learn some other skills". He was right, finally, a great company hired him with a high salary because of his vast talent and abilities. It was a life-changing lesson for me that a secure job is necessary but not enough, so I should wait, improve, and then get a decision.Taking into account of all these reasons, we may reach the conclusion that it is more reliable to think over our opportunities rather choose the first apparently secure one; even though those who does not have self-esteem and are pessimist more or less take their first offer. Personally, I always encounter better opportunities after rationally rejecting previous one.

[minoosaba]

دوستان اگه لطف کنند و نگاهی بندازن و ایرادات رو بگن ممنون میشم
اگه حدودی نمره هم بدید که بدونم در چه سطحی هستم خیلی عالی میشه. این که نمی دونم در چه سطحی هستم برام خیلی اعصاب خردکنه.

Agree/disagree
Teacher should not make their social and political views known to students in classroom.

Whether the teacher should make their own political views known to their students in the classroom has always been a controversial issue in our society. Opinions in this filed are divided. Some people
believe that if the teachers disclose their political attitudes to their students they may decline their chance to have a good communication with all students since some students tend to connect each of their conflictions with their teachers to their different political views. Others have the opposite view and believe that this idea is advantageous. Generally speaking, I am of the opinion that teacher should make their views about political events known to their students due to several reasons as outlined below.
Considering the first reason, I accept it is as true that the more the students are exposed to different points of view, the better they gain a wide knowledge about the subjects. Needless to say, nowadays' media are trying to convince people that their ideas toward a subject is the only true fact and hinder others to hear others opinions. If a person is following a news press it is more likely to have a biased attitude toward a specific political group, and be not inclined to listen to others’ attitude. But classes can be a second place for students to hear at least another point.
Secondly, the classrooms are an ideal place to have a debate about different subjects, namely, politic. In my view, when a teacher expresses his idea about a political event or group, encourages students to share their views with the class, and in this situation some hot debates, which are a really an important kind of gaining wisdom, are more likely to take place.
Last but not the least significant pros of talking about political view by the teachers is that they may encourage other students, who are not involved with the politics, to get more information about the political situation of their society and play their own role in their community. This may convince students to consider polls and elections as a real chance to make their society a better place to live.
Based on the facts mentioned above, it can be clearly concluded that teachers, who share their views about the politic, have many positive effects on their students, namely, making students familiar with different points of view, leading hot debates which make students more aware of their political situations, and encouraging students to attend to the political events.

درود.
فایل مربوطه ضمیمه گردید.
موفق باشید.

[mani_faz]

Hi again. This is for tpo 16, if it’s possible for you please take a look at my writing and give me some suggestions.

Integrated) 3 dict error’s been corrected)
The lecturer firmly believes that the new guidelines enacted in UK, eliminates the issues discussed in the passage to a large degree.

The reading raises the problem of lost, neglected artifacts during the constructions that happen at nearby sites. The new rules mandate construction managers and team to initially evaluate the site for potential archeological remains, before they commence the construction process. More concretely, they are required to examine the location thoroughly with the help of an archeology expert, and preserve or excavate the supposedly discovered artifacts appropriately, before they can proceed to begin construction.

Regarding the challenge of restriction of funding for archeological project to governmental organization and institutions, the new guidelines have taken some measures that provide an alternative source of financing for these projects, according to which, the construction company is completely held responsible to cover and defray all the costs associated with the artifacts situated at the construction site, such as the initial examination, emolument of archeologist working on the site, and any other errand that needs to be taken care of, to ensure the preservation of valuable artifacts.

On her last note, the professor states that the situation for archeology aspirants has gone through a dramatic change, after introduction of the new rules. In contrast to the past, where positions for archeologist were truly rare and restricted to universities, the new established law, totally encourages more experts to get involved in the excavations and research, by stipulating a compensation and payment for every part of the archeology process. This would mean, that professionals who are involved, in evaluating, analyzing, excavating, and writing reports and papers about their archeological findings will be provided with a competitive salary for each of these activities. This in turn, has greatly increased the number of professional archeologists to an unprecedented figure in the UK.

Independent: Do you think is it a good idea to travel in a group with the help of a tour leader? ( 3 dict error’s been corrected)
As is the case in many facets of life, we tend to rely and depend on the help of an expert in a specific field, to better and more efficiently manage our sources (i.e time and money) and eliminate possible flaws we might exhibit, like visiting a doctor when we are sick, or asking a housing agency to assist us to find out about that suitable dwelling we are looking for. Travelling is no exception, since even in ancient times, they were individuals who brought home the bacon, only by giving advice and recommendations to strangers in the city, providing them with accommodation and local food and showing them the attractions nearby. What's more, I firmly believe that traveling in a group with the help of a tour guide, is not just one option, but actually the best option. In the rest of the essay, I will go into greater details to discuss reasons for such a viewpoint.


The most obvious advantage of going on a vacation with a tour guide, is that it's comparatively much more economical than taking matters at your own hand. This is due to the interworking of tourism industry, because travel agencies guarantee the supply of passengers for hotel owners throughout the year, and in return receive lower rates for room and boarding, which in turn enables them to attract more tourists because of affordable costs and fulfill their promise and responsibility according to the contract.

Furthermore, tour traveling has the significant advantage of expenses being specified before you leave for your journey. This is a critical pro because you'll know how much money you are going to spend, and what kind of services you will be receiving, before your trip. This helps you plan wisely for your costs and have a better anticipation of how much the whole experience will cost you, so that you can better organize the additional activities you might be interested in, like visiting nearby cities or going on a safari.

On a different note, a tour guide is familiar with many of sightseeing locations and touristic attraction of your destination and the best way to reach to those places, and consequently can save you a lot of time and energy to look for such information during your stay there. This is especially important, if you are visiting another country, where you don't know the local language, and as a result have a hard time communicating your purpose to local people to ask for help.


In a nutshell, I strongly think that the reasons I've mentioned above are sufficient to persuade most of the people to concur with my choice, although I might have missed some points pertinent to this subject.