نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[moradimina15]

سلام از دوستان کسی هست همه رایتینگ های tpoرو برا هم تصحیح کنیم

[Mechatronic]

سلام از دوستان کسی هست همه رایتینگ های tpoرو برا هم تصحیح کنیم

سلام

ایدۀ خوب و قابل قبولی هست. درسته که کاربرانی که اینجا رایتیگ میگذارند برای تصحیح، لزوماً متخصص تصحیح نیستند اما هر زبان آموزی که لب آزمون باشه، میتونه دست کم یک نکتۀ آموزشی برای سایر دوستان داشته باشه و اینجا ارائه کنه. به علاوه، محدود شدن موضوعات به لیست رایتینگ های TPO باعث میشه که تصحیح کننده ها هم رغبت بیشتری نشان بدند.

برای راحتی کار، لیست تاپیک های تمام TPO های موجود، پیوست شد.

موفق باشید.

[minoosaba]

سلام، دوستان ممنون میشم لطف کنید و رایتینگ من را تصحیح کنید. لطفا نمره و هر نظری که دارید و به من بگید. ممنون از لطفتان!


Companies should spend money on improving the work skills of their employees

There is no single shadow of doubt that the both technology and science are progressing with an unbelievable pace, which persuades individuals to maintain themselves updated. Some individuals hold this concept that owners of corporations are by no means responsible for the knowledge of their employee. However, opposing to this prevalent belief, I am of the opinion that they should allocate a significant budget to enhance their skills related to their career owing to the fact that it increases their profit significantly, save employees’ time, and attracts more elites.

First, nowadays, the world is turned to a competition field; consequently, the corporations ought to improve the quality of their corporation having direct relation with the skills of their
employees to earn sufficient money. In fact, in the business, investors tend to have cooperation with the companies the employee of which are updated and aware regarding novel science and methods. Hence, not only is not it considered as wasting money, but also it increases the asset of the corporation. For instance, when I worked in the Saze company located in Tehran, Iran, a couple of years ago, circa 2013, its founder held some beneficial classes concerning the Auto Cad software, which has an undeniable influence on its income.

Second, participating in the classes individually, employees consume a large amount of time, which is able to be prevented by spending money to teach them in the corporation. As a case, there is seen a heavy traffic in the streets of the Tehran; as a result, an employee has to spend approximately 3 to 4 hours to attend in merely one class. Hence, he is prevented to work full time there while he is able to work extra hours to do his responsibility more efficiently by attending classes held by the corporation.

Last but not least, to become prosperous, the corporations attempt to hire elites graduated from prestigious universities by allocating sufficient budget on the educational programs as their advertisement. In other world, elites desire to improve their knowledge daily and has tendency to work in a company in which they are able to improve their knowledge besides working. As a point, my uncle embarked on establishing a construction corporation three years ago without any allocated asset for education; hence, seldom did adroit experts intent to work there.

In conclusion, I appreciate this point of view that the corporations should have an allocated budget for improving the related skills of their employees, and its benefits overweigh drawbacks. Consequently, I hope individuals having opposing concept will be convinced by the materials presented in this essay.

hello
very good
Good luck

[minoosaba]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان عزیز،
عرض ارادت خدمت خانم مینو که مدتیه اینجا سر نمیزنن و دلم براشون تنگ شده
دوستان اگه زحمت بکشن به رایتینگ ما نگاهی بندازن ازشون بی نهایت ممنون میشم.


Should teenagers work while they are students?

In some families, teenagers have jobs while they are students. As far as I am concerned, the idea of working along school life is not a nice idea according to the following reasons.

In the first place, part time jobs may affect a teenager’s school life and home life. Working several hours a week, is a relatively a long time. On the other hand, working is a time consuming activity which causes tiresome; after work, a teenager has to sleep for a long time to become fresh. He / she misses dinner time beside family. Teenagers may be almost grown up, but they still need the companionship and support that get from their families. He / she misses family gatherings. He / she wakes up at midnight while family members are slept. This new schedule makes him / her get bored, lose his / her appetite to work hard during the rest of the day and eventuates unfavorable results.

In like manner, the most important purpose of attending school is to gain knowledge (or learn?). In school, teenagers learn how to get ready to enter society and enroll different activities. A teen must study deep and broaden his horizon; he / she must memorize school lessons at home. This process is not possible if one decides to work after school and the teenager cannot afford school’s expectations.

By the same token, physical and mental growth will face difficulties if a teenager decides to work after school; he / she may sacrifice his / her time for sleep, exercise and social activities and definitely lack of these requirements takes him / her into difficulties.

Given these points, being concerned after school as a part-time job, can interfere with study program and school life, disrupt a teenager’s home life and face his / her mental and physical growth with problems. Not to mention that it takes away part of their childhood that cannot be ever replaced. In comparison with the whole life, teenage time is a very short period. I strongly recommend teenagers to devote their time to school life, family, friends and their interests. They must enjoy their best life time; they have at least future thirty years to work hard and to be excellent at their career.

helloo
good luck

[minoosaba]

سلام عرض میکنم خدمت دوستان عزیز،
عرض ارادت دارم خدمت خانم مینوی عزیز ،که زحمت رایتینگای ما رو متحمل میشن.
این رایتینگ ما رو عزیزان اگه نگاهی بندازن ممنون میشم.

Important qualities of a co-worker

We spend most of our weekly time in our workplace, besides co-workers, and other people, rather than our family. There is no doubt that co-workers’ temper and characteristics has high importance (I want to say: az ahammiate vizhei barkhordar ast). I’ve worked in several offices and I’ve found certain characteristics which all brilliant co-workers have in common.

In the first place, a nice co-worker should be cooperative. He / she must act well in teams. Owning the ability to be an exquisite teamwork promotes the team’s performance. In addition, he / she has a positive attitude which creates a pleasant working environment. He / she is not stubborn about changes in schedules or routines, doesn’t object when his / her action is revised. He / she has no problem with new procedures and welcomes changes when they are going to happen.

In the second place, a good co-worker should be considerate, adaptable, helpful, and sympathetic. He / she is willing to change his / her schedule to accommodate another colleague’s emergency. He / she helps co-workers in emergency cases specifically when falls behind in his / her work. In addition, we might get through a devastation, like a death in the family; a sympathetic co-worker never hesitates a moment for consoling us in order to cope with the catastrophes occurred.

The third, and the most important characteristic which an excellent co-worker is obliged to own, is to be honest and reliable. Honest (or being honest?) is human being’s best qualification. Since we can trust to a reliable person and tell him / her our secrets and because he / she gives the best solution to our problems because of his / her honesty, any person who has such a co-worker is a lucky one.

As has been noted, I gather people who are cooperative, considerate, adaptable, helpful, sympathetic, honest and reliable are easy to work. These group are classified as ideal c-workers and every human can get along well with them. It is said that one has the liberty to choose friends, but one may not have the luck to choose his / her co-workers. Having a nice co-worker is blessed and one must value good co-workers, while trying to be a good co-worker towards them.

hello
your file was attached
good luck

[sana02]

سلام دوستای خوبم. من هم یه دونه انشا دارم ممنون میشم نگاه بندازید. قبلش فقط یه سوال دارم.
من همیشه برای رایتینگ یک طرف رو انتخاب میکنم بسطش میدم و دفاع میکنم ازش. اما واقعا کم و بیش پیش میاد نه خیلی برای این طرف حرف دارم نه برای اونطرف. اینجور مواقع دلم میخواد یه چیز بینابینی بنویسم. اینبار دلو به دریا زدم یکی رو اینطوری نوشتم. میشه دوستان اهل فنی که تا به حال این مدل نوشتن رو دیدن یا خوندن و میتونن دربارش نظر بدن یه نگاهی بندازن وبگن کارم چقدر اشکال داره؟ به علاوه من دقیقا دو هفته دیگه امتحانمه. ایا توصیه میکنید من روی این مدل جدید دو سه تا بنویسم که اگه احتیاج شد روز امتحان بتونم از عهدش بربیام؟
به علاوه من چند تا جمله و استراکچری که همیشه خیلی بهشون مشکوک بودم و ازشون استفاده نمیکردم رو توی این انشام به کار بردم به خاطر همین تصحیح نامه این انشا خیلی برام ارزشمند خواهد بود و همین الان خیلی خیلی از دوستانی که زحمت میکشن سپاسگزاری میکنم. چند تا غلط املایی هم متن داره که از اونجایی که هیچ تصحیحی نکردم اگه فرصت و زمانشو داشتید و یه حدود نمره به من بگید خیلی خوب خواهد بود.
دوباره هم خیلی ممنونم.
سوال؟ دوستای تازه پیداکنیم یا دوستای قدیمی رو حفظ کنیم.

Making friend is a human's fundamental need. All people like and need to be in relationship with the other people, especially with their friend. The question is that which one is more important, developing new friendships or keeping our old friends. In my view, people should work on both of them. There are numerous reasons why I think so and I want to explore only a few of more important ones here.

To begin, all people need to have someone who they can trust on. Finding such a person is not an easy task at all, and when you succeed to find such a person you name him or her "friend"; on the other hand, making a true friend is associated with many difficulties beacuse he or she should meet all your criteria for a real friend, and due to this, it is truly worthwhile to try to keep your friends. You may be in a situation that you do not have enough time to spend with your old friends; nevetheless, you should try to find to some quality time because you may need your friends to help you or to share something with them, something important such as your secrets, in future and that time you may become aware that you lost them; as it would be really hard to find an appropriate person at that time, you should try to keep them.

On the other side, making a new friend is as important, if not more important than keeping your old ones. The main reason is that all people change and and so do your friends and you; as a result, it is really possible that after a while you do not heve something valuable in common with your old friends. Besides, it is possible that you discover a new area of your personality and you need to be in touch with some one who is similar to you at that area; nonetheless, as it is a new area of your charachteristics, your old friends may be different from you at that new area, and due to this, you will not be able to match with them and you will need to make new friends.

To put it in a nut-shell, although, some people suggest that you should keep your old friends and some recommend you to focus on makeing new ones, I strongly suggest that you should work on both of them. Because in terms of your old friends, needless to say, you made effort to meke true freinds ,and hence, it is worth to keep them, and in terms of making new friends, as you would change, you would need to be in touch with some one who have something in common with you in your new intersts; as a resul, working on both of them will enrich your life.

[moradimina15]

سلام در باره رایتینگ منم نظر بدین ممنون میشم
Today people live in fast paced world which everything is changing with rapid speed. We see lots of new inventions and so many tools that are improving every day such as new versions of softwares and communication tools. To be success in this fast paced world, we have to learn how to deal with new situations. I personally prefer to take risks rather than only doing what I already know how to do well.

By studying well-known scientists and famous inventor’s biography we undoubtedly find out that they were more willing to try new things and upgrade their achievements. For instance Edison was tried 2000 material to produce electricity. The more ones encounter new events, the more experienced he become. Furthermore, if people take risks in their life, eventually they will be brave person wiht sufficient self-confidence to face with problems and overcome to tough situations.

I cannot deny that if we give a choice to people to do what they are familiar with or do something new, most of them tend to choose objects that are well experienced in. But in real word they have less chance to face with the same situations that already know how to do well. I'm a math teacher and every year I have new students with different kind of behaviors and attitudes. Besides, new softwares and equipments are invented that I have to use them in my teaching, and adjust my-self with new teaching methods.


Last but not the least, taking risks can enrich our life. Our life will be more exiting with experiencing difficult positions of decision. When we encounter with risky situations, making good decision and waiting for a result is very exiting experience. I'm risk-taker person and personally believe in living life in the edge and I am sure just by trying new things we can get new success. Furthermore, we feel more satisfaction by achievements come from risky situation and doing repetitive work is very boring.

From what has been discussed in above we may conclude that taking risks can cause self-confidence, more knowledge to deal with real word and add enjoy to our life. All this factors are very crucial in reaching our aims and being successful person.

[anil87]

سلام دوستان
مصححان و نویسندگان همگی خدا قوت.
بی زحمت یه نگاه هم به دست نوشته ما بندازید.

Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries


Undoubtedly vibrant and fresh students would be prosperous in their education and research, this is doable if universities persuade students to participate in sport activities, besides investing a tangible amount of money on sport facilities. However, I don’t think it is logical to expect that the fund dedicated to sports affairs should be exactly the same as the one allocated to libraries. Because the main goal of students from going to university is exercising their brains not their bodies, also students are supposed to be skillful in their scientific major not in their sport field .So, libraries need much more fund to be completely mobilized than gyms.
First, student make their best to be accepted in a university and get involved in scientific issues challenging their minds and thoughts to learn how to think better, find solutions and make firm decisions being future doctors, engineers, artists and managers. They are not at the universities to exercise their bodies but their minds. They go to libraries, to find precious resources for their studies, researches making their knowledge treasury more rich. In addition, libraries are calm places that student can stay and study for a long time putting aside their concerns without any distractions. So, universities should spend a lot to facilitate their libraries with the most up to date scientific resources, medias such as computers with useful programs installed on them and a suitable place large and convenient enough to study in.
Moreover, students must learn different skills related to their future career, specially they should be dominant in a few fields being qualified enough for job opportunities. They are not going to take part in international sport competitions. So, much of the universities budget should be utilized to build more dedicated libraries. For example each department should have distinct library for its own which includes specific technical resources related merely to the fields of that department. Astonishingly, we can see in many universities, department don’t have independent libraries and their students just have access to central library, at the same time these universities start different expensive sport carnivals each year.
In a whole, based on the aforementioned reasons, I think although universities should pay attention to sport activities and invest on them but it is not necessary to spend as much as they do for libraries. Instead, by determining one or two sport course each semester as arbitrary ones and provide moderate facilities, persuade their student to take part in sport activities.

[amir_tamadon]

ممنون میشم یکی از دوستان رایتینگ منم بخونه
TPO اول - تسک 1

,The reading states that the idea of employees working four-day a week is beneficial for their company and their own and provides three reason to support. However the professor explains that four-day a week working is not a good idea and refutes each of the author's reasons

First, the reading claims that in four-day weekly work, employees feel more rested and they would make fewer costly error. As a result it would increase company profits. The professor rejects this point by saying that reduction of workweek does not make more profits for companies. He states that the company forces to add more workers and training new workers costs so much. Furthermore, the company have to allocate more office space and computers to new workers

Second, the author posit that for the country as a whole, it would reduce unemployment rate. Conversely the professor says that the company might raise expectations and if five-day week workers think that they do as same amount of work as four-day workers do, their current jobs become unpleasant for them

Finally the authors says that employees could spend more free time with their family and could improve the quality of their lives. The professor opposes this point by explaining that it could not improve their individual life’s quality. The professor points out that it could present the risk of decreasing workers ability and they might loose their jobs in the future. In addition, they may pass over for promotion chances in their company.

[minoosaba]

سلام دوستان
مصححان و نویسندگان همگی خدا قوت.
بی زحمت یه نگاه هم به دست نوشته ما بندازید.

Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries


Undoubtedly vibrant and fresh students would be prosperous in their education and research, this is doable if universities persuade students to participate in sport activities, besides investing a tangible amount of money on sport facilities. However, I don’t think it is logical to expect that the fund dedicated to sports affairs should be exactly the same as the one allocated to libraries. Because the main goal of students from going to university is exercising their brains not their bodies, also students are supposed to be skillful in their scientific major not in their sport field .So, libraries need much more fund to be completely mobilized than gyms.
First, student make their best to be accepted in a university and get involved in scientific issues challenging their minds and thoughts to learn how to think better, find solutions and make firm decisions being future doctors, engineers, artists and managers. They are not at the universities to exercise their bodies but their minds. They go to libraries, to find precious resources for their studies, researches making their knowledge treasury more rich. In addition, libraries are calm places that student can stay and study for a long time putting aside their concerns without any distractions. So, universities should spend a lot to facilitate their libraries with the most up to date scientific resources, medias such as computers with useful programs installed on them and a suitable place large and convenient enough to study in.
Moreover, students must learn different skills related to their future career, specially they should be dominant in a few fields being qualified enough for job opportunities. They are not going to take part in international sport competitions. So, much of the universities budget should be utilized to build more dedicated libraries. For example each department should have distinct library for its own which includes specific technical resources related merely to the fields of that department. Astonishingly, we can see in many universities, department don’t have independent libraries and their students just have access to central library, at the same time these universities start different expensive sport carnivals each year.
In a whole, based on the aforementioned reasons, I think although universities should pay attention to sport activities and invest on them but it is not necessary to spend as much as they do for libraries. Instead, by determining one or two sport course each semester as arbitrary ones and provide moderate facilities, persuade their student to take part in sport activities.

good luck dude