دوستان سلام. در جواب یکی از عزیزان که SOP شون رو اصلاح کردم چند نکته بود که دلم نیومد با بقیه به اشتراک نذارم. امیدوارم کسانی که در حال نوشتن SOPهستند (که کار طاقت فرسا و بسیار مهمیست) از این نکات استفاده کنند.


Dear ****,

Here’s my frank opinion of your SOP (I hope you won’t get upset if I offer some criticism).

1) Your SOP had some blemishes here and there, in terms of grammar and sentence structure. I tried to correct most of your grammatical mistakes. Sentences are sometimes too long, fragmented and disorganized. The whole SOP is too long as well. You want a group of very busy professors to read your statement… If it’s too long or boring, they simply ignore it. Break down your sentences.

2) There are some neutral, extra or unnecessary information in your SOP. Read your work again and after each and every sentence just ask yourself: “What is this sentence going to tell the admission committee about me? What REASON does it give them to select me? What would I lose if I removed this sentence? Is this sentence providing FACTS or only my PERSONAL OPINIONS? If it’s a fact, did I support it with appropriate references? If it’s a personal opinion, is it going to IMPRESS the committee or ADD anything to their relevant knowledge of me?” You’ll see that many sentences could have been removed without hurting the purpose of your statement!

3) The good thing about your work is that it is (mostly!) YOUR work. Originality is probably THE most important aspect of any SOP. That’s why I didn’t rewrite the SOP and only corrected some obvious mistakes. Although a few sentences are clearly borrowed from templates, you did a very good job on maintaining the originality of your SOP. Remember that they won’t expect you to be absolutely perfect in English writing, and even some minor mistakes could be acceptable. What they value more is whether they can TRUST you with their money and time…

4) While I don’t recommend being modest in your SOP at all, I would not encourage bragging about yourself too much either. Don’t directly praise yourself! Highlight your records; let your advisor or your work place indirectly signify your achievements. Remember that the people you’re talking to are strong researchers, who (unlike Iranians) are very cautious about referencing. If you say, for instance, that so and so university is the best university in Iran (while it isn’t) they’ll definitely check it out! The last thing you’d want is their trust destroyed. I’m not implying that your SOP was bad in this sense. All I want you to consider is whether you would be able to reference your claims or not.


Good luck with your admission
Aboozar