نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

[minoosaba]

با سلام
این اولین متنیه که نوشتم . ممنون میشم تصحیح کنید
The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour gide.

Do you think that the individual traveling is boring? Some people prefer spending their time with him/herself, but in my view, trip with the group led by a tour leader is more fun and enjoyable. Although, the visiting nature and environment places, maybe more interesting in person, however, I prefer to visit new interesting places with the group guided by a tour leader, because it has more positive side than the individual trip.

The most positive feature of a tour leader is, having many major information about the places that you will have visited. In this way, you can get more knowledge about the new area easily and instantly. Moreover, it makes your visit more enjoyable too. For example, two years ago, when I was a university student, I have gone to Isfahan with my classmates and we had a tour leader. Even though, I had a trip before that to Isfahan, but the tour guide made me a difference and interest perspective. I couldn't believe, because I thought it was a first time that I have visited this ancient and fascinate place.

Another criteria reason is, saving to you more time and money. When you know where place are more significant to visit? Or when time of day is better to visit some places like museum or monument? It certainly leads saving your time and money. As I recall, five years ago, me and my little brother went to the Hamadan city for the first time and we hadn't any experience and information about this city, we found that we didn't visited some major and significant monument after we came back from Hamadan and the hotel that we have settled was very expensive too. Our hotel was very far from the center of the city that it leads to spending more time with transportation.

In conclusion, having a person who guide you lead to having more data and information about everywhere you visited and saving your time and money during the travel.

سلام.

متنتون رو پیوست کردم.

موفق باشید.

[mani_faz]

سلام. این مربوط به قسمت اینتگریتد هست و بدون تغییر همون طوریه که تو نرم افزار نوشتم ممنون میشم نظرتون رو بگید. .

The professors doesn't agree that the new plan for working 4 days a week, will have the mentioned effects in the reading. He raises some specific concerns for each one of the improvements predicted, and repudiate them. Generally, he believes the idea is underdevolped and in further investigation the flaws will be evident.

First of all, he thinks that this plan not only has no positive impact on the company's profit, it will actually decrease it. Since when the workload is reduced, the company has to hire new employees and this will need futher investment, because the new clerks need training and they also should cover their health insurance. In addition to that, expenses like health insurance, are totally irrelevant the amount of hour an employee works and need to be provided regardless.

Further more, having more employees the company should also buy new equipments such as desks and computers to accommodate the needs of the larger employee population. He also believes that maybe adminstratives in the company, will expect the 4days working employeess, to be as productive as the traditional clerks, thus leading them to be under more pressure and stressful in their own jobs, and consequently further decreasing their job satisfaction.

Last but not the least, he thinks it's being too optimistic to think that employees will certainly benefit from fewer work hours, since their employers might ask them to stay overtime to do their jobs, because they think they are not efficient enough. So maybe they don't actually get the chance to spend more quality time with their families and improve their lifestyle and happiness in their personal life.

[mani_faz]

این یکی هم مشابه وضعیت قبلی ، برای قسمت مستقل نوشتم. ممنون میشم ایراداتش رو بگید
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
.
We live in a world, replete with people who suffer from obesity who consequently are struggling with medical condition that not only deteriorates their quality of life, but also burden the economy because of the eminent costs related to these diseases.

As the famous saying states, prevention is always better than cure, and the prevention in this case is, trying to encourage more people to take part in physical activities like sports , and somehow incorporate excercizing into their daily life. Thus I believe it is equally imortant to invest and put emphasis on sport activities, as we do on matters like quality of education, especially in an institution as widespread and ubiquitous as college, that encompasses the majority of the people in the society.

Besides that, as it has been noted by many scholars thoroughout history, physical activity also improves the mental health and improves the overall satisfacion people get from their life. This is due to some biological causes, such as the release of chemical like endorphins which makes you happier, and also other reason namely that, since doing physical activities also usually is tantamount to being more outgoing and spending more times with others, thus being less prone to clinical depression, which is another critical issue in today's society.

As a side note, I also believe that physical activity and social gathering will give the students a more comprehensive view of life, one which be later really helpful for the rest of their lives. For example, they get the oppurtunity to be involved in a larger circle of activities like writing a journal, playing a theather and managing an association, that will help them identify their strengths and capabilities and also gain experience in areas like interpersonal skills that are vital to their ability to be a prosperous and useful member of their societies. Further more, they also learn that how to overcome obstacles they will probably encounter frequently later in life, by first handling a lighter version of them in college life, like handling how to manage an angry member of the play group efficiently, without hurting him/her and their selves.

To sum it up, I strongly believe in the power of social and sport activities in improving the experience of college student and I advocate the view of putting equal emphasis on these matters, and decrease our obsession with the curriculum and education standards.

[Leon69]

سلام دوستان وقتتون بخیر
من زیاد اطلاعاتم بالا نیست ممنون میشم نظرتون رو در رابطه با این رایتینگ بگید,
همچنین اگه دوستان با تجربه لطف کنن بگن با این رایتینگ تقریبا چه نمره ای میشه از رایتینگ آزمون اصلی گرفت ممنون میشم

Tpo14
In my idea I think that however we should sightseeing inside our country, but Strongly believe that travel to other countries is striking more beneficial for people because they can get familiar with other people cultures' around the world; beside they can improve their standard of life level by traveling to industrial countries.

I think that people by going abroad can learn many kind of good behavior from foreign language people and let them to them know about their cultures as well. So easily people around the world can assist each other in improving relationships even though when you do not know their language. As a personal experience my uncle that was a religious individual travel to Germany due to a his business, and I remember when he came back to home his relationship was totally change that all the family got surprised, the most important change was this, that he could listen to all the opposite ideas that people with other religious have said, whether that is true or not; on the contrary before his travel he never ever had been tried to even listen to them. So I think sometimes it is necessary for us to travel to other countries for see other people with different ideas as well.

As a second reason for supporting my idea I think however traveling to other cities in our country is really helpful for us, but because of improving your knowledge in technology and even other countries citizens you should visit their life style especially by traveling to the developed countries you can have significant experiment for try to have better life. I remember that when my uncle had been came back he had brought a MP3 player for me as souvenir and at that time I have never seen before those kind of gadgets because there is not any device like that in our country so I even did not know that how ought I use that. Finally little by little when I learn how to use that I found out there is lots of enormous technology devices in developed countries such as Germany that I never have been thought about that, so I should strongly try for our country develop to achieve higher levels in the world.

Considering all of these reasons and example I think one of the most assistive method to improve both you and your country is traveling to other countries and make relationship with them especially the developed ones. So you can earn great experiments by traveling around world.

[Saman_R]

Dear Leon69
I have proofread your essay.
You can find it attached.
Good Luck

سلام دوستان وقتتون بخیر
من زیاد اطلاعاتم بالا نیست ممنون میشم نظرتون رو در رابطه با این رایتینگ بگید,
همچنین اگه دوستان با تجربه لطف کنن بگن با این رایتینگ تقریبا چه نمره ای میشه از رایتینگ آزمون اصلی گرفت ممنون میشم

Tpo14
In my idea I think that however we should sightseeing inside our country, but Strongly believe that travel to other countries is striking more beneficial for people because they can get familiar with other people cultures' around the world; beside they can improve their standard of life level by traveling to industrial countries.

I think that people by going abroad can learn many kind of good behavior from foreign language people and let them to them know about their cultures as well. So easily people around the world can assist each other in improving relationships even though when you do not know their language. As a personal experience my uncle that was a religious individual travel to Germany due to a his business, and I remember when he came back to home his relationship was totally change that all the family got surprised, the most important change was this, that he could listen to all the opposite ideas that people with other religious have said, whether that is true or not; on the contrary before his travel he never ever had been tried to even listen to them. So I think sometimes it is necessary for us to travel to other countries for see other people with different ideas as well.

As a second reason for supporting my idea I think however traveling to other cities in our country is really helpful for us, but because of improving your knowledge in technology and even other countries citizens you should visit their life style especially by traveling to the developed countries you can have significant experiment for try to have better life. I remember that when my uncle had been came back he had brought a MP3 player for me as souvenir and at that time I have never seen before those kind of gadgets because there is not any device like that in our country so I even did not know that how ought I use that. Finally little by little when I learn how to use that I found out there is lots of enormous technology devices in developed countries such as Germany that I never have been thought about that, so I should strongly try for our country develop to achieve higher levels in the world.

Considering all of these reasons and example I think one of the most assistive method to improve both you and your country is traveling to other countries and make relationship with them especially the developed ones. So you can earn great experiments by traveling around world.

[ipot]

سلام دوستان. میشه این essay رو یه نگاهی بندازین و نظر خودتون رو راجع بش بگین. چطور میتونم بهترش کنم و کجا میتونستم از transition ها استفاده ی مطلوب کنم.
همگی موفق باشین
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

Every year a lot of students enroll in universities with the hope of finding jobs in the future. Recently facilitating beneficial education has hogged the limelight and become the source of contention between people. While a misbelief prevails among some people that only pursuing academic studies is beneficial and participating in other activities most of the time goes awry; there are other people, including me, who believe wholeheartedly that taking part in organization or club activities are as much important as academic issues and can bring about some beneficial consequences for students like job opportunity and social communication ability.

One of the main goals of every student is finding his/her niche. Students strive to reach this objective. Students by taking part in social activities like organization or club activities are able to have a chance to meet people and executives from a lot of companies. This opportunity increases their chance to find good jobs after graduation. Last year I participated in a biannual veterinary congress Istanbul, Turkey. The congress has a world- wide reputation and taking part in it is an honorable opportunity. I met a lot of professors from reputable universities and communicated with them. This valuable opportunity gave me the chance of finding a PhD position in a high rank university; thus, participating in organization activities can bring about suitable job opportunities for students.

Socializing with other people has always been an important matter in every person's life. By participating in social activities like club, students are able to relate good with their friends and their teachers and not lag behind from other students; moreover, socializing with other people prevents students from becoming depressed. There is a correlation between depression and the rate of drop-out among students. Statistics have shown that students with low communication ability lose their determination and fascination during education and are inclined to leave their education. Thereafter, club activities have positive consequences for students.

In a nutshell, coming across job opportunities, along with improvement in communication ability are the focal points of my argument. People who take issue with this stance cling only to this flimsy argument that taking part in extracurricular activities deviates students from pursuing education and have negative impacts on them.

[violet_bargh86]

سلام دوستان. میشه این essay رو یه نگاهی بندازین و نظر خودتون رو راجع بش بگین چون این اولین نوشته منه. میخوام بدونم چه سطحی هستم.
همگی موفق باشین
Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer individual sports. Which one?
Today, as it commonly sensed, the mental strain and stressful life rate which causes extremely serious and harmful effect on people’s personality and character that leads to encounter a harsh and coarse society. Exercising has a straightforward impression in converting a depression to succulence. Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer individual sports. I prefer to participate in team sports because it brings much exhilaration and memberships in a team, attain significant capability in solidarity and reliance.
Although individual sport has some benefits itself and maybe has advocate but in my opinion a team sport has significant advantages. The main reason that I prefer team sports rather than individual sports is that doing sport in a team affords more reliance in comparison with individual sports. In fact, all the memberships in that team rely on each other and this could enhance their self-confidence. Knowing that in crucial situations you have some ones around that could give you a hand to overcome, augment confidence. Furthermore, in a team there is much more exhilaration and joy rather than in an individual sport. A group of same age people always have some epigram words to change the atmosphere of a team even in the failure positions but if someone who participate in an individual competition and miss it would be disturbed while the aim of being involve in a sport is to feel cheerful and pleasant.
Another reason that I prefer team sports rather than individual sports is that a team sport could enhance alliance and solidarity since everyone who participates in a game wants success in the game and this cause increment in alliance between the memberships of the team. As we know every team has a leader that has a duty to preserve solidarity among the memberships. Having a leader in a team implies the importance of learning the alliance and solidarity among the members.
In sum, I believe that participating in a team sport especially from childhood, could have significant abilities such as alliance, solidarity and reliance to the members and prepare them for difficulties that may be encounter in their personal life.

[Al2miN]

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and develop your essay.


Learning is an essential need for humans. Some people think learning by themselves is better and others think that it is better to have a guide or teacher. I am agree with they who think have a teacher is better. I feel this way for two main reasons. First, learning is more by teaching with a teacher. Second, teachers can teach better and quickly. For these reasons, I feel that it can be a logical and better choice for me.

First, acquisition from a teacher is more. Interacting with a teacher gives more information. I remember that when I was a student, sometimes I had to learn by myself. I felt to need a guide who has more knowledge about my course, and answers to my questions. For example, when I tried to learn mathematical at home, I faced with many problems and questions that was boring for me. Because, I did not know how I could solve those. Sometimes I didn’t learn completely. Moreover, teachers have more knowledge. They spend a lot of time for studying and teaching on their course which are taught by them. They have a lot experiences of education and teaching techniques. They can solve many problems which are related with learning and convey more information to me.

Second, teachers can teach better and learning is quickly. Teaching is teachers’ job, and after a long time to teach, they have more ways to teach better. For instance, I could not learn a subject on my course. I spent a lot of time to learn it, but finally I could not learn it, and I asked about it of my teachers. He taught me it by a simple example. In addition, questioning is a way for educating. When I have a teacher for my learning, many of questions are asked. I can learn better when I have somebody who solves my problems. Furthermore, Teachers know how they should motivate students to learn better. I remember when who my teacher encourage me to asked questions about some problems. I had to think and I was excited me to study better.

To sum it up, I feel that learning with a teacher is the best way to instruct for me. Because I am learned more by a teacher, and they can teach better. I believe that there really is no better way to learn for me.

سلام ممنون میشم نظرات شما رو بدونم من چند ماه دیگه باید امتحان بدم. جدا از مشکلات گرامری نظرتون درباره کلیات مفهموی متن و انسجامش رو هم بگید خیلی لطف بزرگی کردید. با سپاس

[Saman_R]

I really enjoyed reading and correcting your essay. I learned a lot of things while I was proofreading it. Totally, I found you proficient in writing an essay.
I think you could find the best places to use transitions, but the problem with the transitions you have used is being below the average number (around 15) expected. You should proliferate the essay with using more expressions.
You can find it attached.
GOOD LUCK

سلام دوستان. میشه این essay رو یه نگاهی بندازین و نظر خودتون رو راجع بش بگین. چطور میتونم بهترش کنم و کجا میتونستم از transition ها استفاده ی مطلوب کنم.
همگی موفق باشین
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

Every year a lot of students enroll in universities with the hope of finding jobs in the future. Recently facilitating beneficial education has hogged the limelight and become the source of contention between people. While a misbelief prevails among some people that only pursuing academic studies is beneficial and participating in other activities most of the time goes awry; there are other people, including me, who believe wholeheartedly that taking part in organization or club activities are as much important as academic issues and can bring about some beneficial consequences for students like job opportunity and social communication ability.

One of the main goals of every student is finding his/her niche. Students strive to reach this objective. Students by taking part in social activities like organization or club activities are able to have a chance to meet people and executives from a lot of companies. This opportunity increases their chance to find good jobs after graduation. Last year I participated in a biannual veterinary congress Istanbul, Turkey. The congress has a world- wide reputation and taking part in it is an honorable opportunity. I met a lot of professors from reputable universities and communicated with them. This valuable opportunity gave me the chance of finding a PhD position in a high rank university; thus, participating in organization activities can bring about suitable job opportunities for students.

Socializing with other people has always been an important matter in every person's life. By participating in social activities like club, students are able to relate good with their friends and their teachers and not lag behind from other students; moreover, socializing with other people prevents students from becoming depressed. There is a correlation between depression and the rate of drop-out among students. Statistics have shown that students with low communication ability lose their determination and fascination during education and are inclined to leave their education. Thereafter, club activities have positive consequences for students.

In a nutshell, coming across job opportunities, along with improvement in communication ability are the focal points of my argument. People who take issue with this stance cling only to this flimsy argument that taking part in extracurricular activities deviates students from pursuing education and have negative impacts on them.

[Saman_R]

Totally, I was pleased to correct your essay. Honestly, I learned a lot of things, especially some positive traits, due to your excellent essay. However, there are some grammatical problems with your writing, that I believe you can solve this less than a month.
Don’t forget using more complicated sentences and compound nouns.
You are a good writer and if you practice more, you'll definitely be able to get high score in iBT.
As you are well aware, usually, no correction can stand out perfect. It would be grateful if anyone could improve that.

GOOD LUCK

سلام دوستان. میشه این essay رو یه نگاهی بندازین و نظر خودتون رو راجع بش بگین چون این اولین نوشته منه. میخوام بدونم چه سطحی هستم.
همگی موفق باشین
Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer individual sports. Which one?
Today, as it commonly sensed, the mental strain and stressful life rate which causes extremely serious and harmful effect on people’s personality and character that leads to encounter a harsh and coarse society. Exercising has a straightforward impression in converting a depression to succulence. Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer individual sports. I prefer to participate in team sports because it brings much exhilaration and memberships in a team, attain significant capability in solidarity and reliance.
Although individual sport has some benefits itself and maybe has advocate but in my opinion a team sport has significant advantages. The main reason that I prefer team sports rather than individual sports is that doing sport in a team affords more reliance in comparison with individual sports. In fact, all the memberships in that team rely on each other and this could enhance their self-confidence. Knowing that in crucial situations you have some ones around that could give you a hand to overcome, augment confidence. Furthermore, in a team there is much more exhilaration and joy rather than in an individual sport. A group of same age people always have some epigram words to change the atmosphere of a team even in the failure positions but if someone who participate in an individual competition and miss it would be disturbed while the aim of being involve in a sport is to feel cheerful and pleasant.
Another reason that I prefer team sports rather than individual sports is that a team sport could enhance alliance and solidarity since everyone who participates in a game wants success in the game and this cause increment in alliance between the memberships of the team. As we know every team has a leader that has a duty to preserve solidarity among the memberships. Having a leader in a team implies the importance of learning the alliance and solidarity among the members.
In sum, I believe that participating in a team sport especially from childhood, could have significant abilities such as alliance, solidarity and reliance to the members and prepare them for difficulties that may be encounter in their personal life.