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موضوع: نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

  1. #2211
    ApplyAbroad Hero chemistrymaste آواتار ها
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2012
    رشته و دانشگاه
    Biophysical and Bioanalytical Chemistry
    ارسال‌ها
    1,261

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    خدمت دوستان عزیز سلام عرض میکنم، انگار کسی چهار تا رایتینگ قبلی ما رو تصحیح نکرده
    خب اینم پنجمیشه! از اهل فن تقاضا دارم لطف کنن و نگاهی به این پنج رایتینگ بندازن.
    از عزیزان ممنونم.
    Do you learn better by yourself or with a teacher?

    Some people would like to learn by themselves, perhaps because of more independency and freedom in learning process, etc. On the contrary, some other persist to learn under a teacher’s supervision; As far as I am concerned, it is more reliable to learn lessons under a teacher’s supervision, and using a constant schedule.

    In the first place, studying a subject, especially lessons that we have few basic knowledge about them or lack enough preliminary guidelines for studying them, may confuse us. A teacher, can give us precious information in such cases. He / she can guide us to learn more basically, progressively, and targeted. He / she introduces bona fide references that take us directly towards related subject; A teacher lets us know how and what to learn. Additionally, we may have questions or problems. He / she leads us toward finding the answer without waste of time. What’s more, having a supervisor helps us focus on the lesson and keeps us away from studying unrelated subjects.

    In the second place, studying under a teacher’s supervision, leads us to opinion which states, there is always a person who pushes us toward forward; forthwith, we have to study on a regular basis to avoid unpleasant consequences, e.g. getting failed at exams. Besides, assignments given by the teacher leads us to challenge the subjects and lessons, understand them in an efficient way and broaden the scope of the topic.

    Third, studying under the supervision of an expert person transfers us more information about the lesson. Teacher helps us reach the deeper layers of the subject by transferring us his / her information about the topic. He / she persuades us to go beyond the information mentioned in book.

    In the final analysis, assuming that studying under a teacher’s supervision and attending classes may take our time, in my own opinion, the most efficient way to learn lessons is to study under a teacher’s supervision; he / she teaches us to learn better and efficiently, pushes us toward forward, and transfers us his / her information about new topics. As a result, my recommendation is to study under a teacher’s supervision.

  2. #2212

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط mani_faz نمایش پست ها
    Hi everyone. This is for tpo 6, I’m really grateful for your continuedsupport.

    Independent
    Topic: life today is easier and more convenient than it was when your grandparents were children.

    As the law of entropy in physics prognosticates "objects in the universe tend to take courses of action that finally lead them to reach a more chaotic state", we humans have proclivities to deal with more complicated, more turbulent types of challenges over time. Thus, I would argue that not only life hasn't gotten any easier for us, but actually it has taken many sharp turns that has made matters we could handle conveniently before, quite a challenging bewildering task for us.

    For one thing, we are obliged to choose among a much wider choice of options. More concretely, my grandparents and their generation had pretty much a narrow somehow default set of decisions to make, namely, they know they had to marry pretty soon in their twenties and then have children and be busy taking care of them and watching them grow and deal with their lives. But for the modern citizen of the world, thing are much more complicated, they have to contemplate much more deeply about connubial matters, simply because, getting married and having children in this era brings about lots of responsibilities and financial hardships that not everyone can overcome.

    In contrast to that, the older generation handled the matter really easily because they had not much to worry regarding the education and future of their children, since almost all of them, perpetuated the family business and as a result had a quite guaranteed basic level of satisfaction in life, but this approach is not helpful anymore, because the structure of the economy and its undesirability doesn't allow such peace of mind.


    Another note I would make, is that we have to deal with problems that has solely arisen first, because of the very existence of more comfort and amenities. To further clear my point, consider the increased number of automatic vehicles and cars and the issue of air and sound pollution and the increasing environmental dilemmas. This problem is a prevailing issue that endangers many aspects of our life, namely that, it's putting our health and our very survival in danger, in a word, it's threatening the very survival of our species.

    In the light of the above mentioned arguments, I believe one can logically reach the conclusion that the kind and the vastness of the issues we are facing now is really vast compared to those of our grandparents, and consequently, we have to possess a much deeper understanding of our situation to lead a standard life and prosper in our life journey.
    It's ok
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    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  3. #2213

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط chemistrymaste نمایش پست ها
    با سلام خدمت دوستان عزیز و Saman عزیز که زحمت رایتینگارو میکشن، یه رایتینگم دارم:
    ممنونم

    Do you prefer to eat out or eat at home?

    Although having a meal at a restaurant is easier than cooking at home, and consequently many people prefer to eat out restaurants, I prefer to cook at home, according to the following reasons.

    While having a meal at a restaurant is fast and doesn’t take much time, and besides, one can choose among different kind of foods, food may not be prepared correctly at a restaurant. It might remain medium-rare. Moreover, it might be prepared from unhealthy ingredients.

    Meals at restaurants are high in fat and calories. When you cook at home, however, you can control what you eat. You can cook with low-fat ingredients and vegetables. Restaurants also often serve big plate of food, you may eat the whole plate, because you have paid for it! While, at home, you can control your portion size.

    At home, family members can prepare their meals and enjoy eating together, which can enhance their relationship. They can talk about each other’s problems, find solutions and enjoy being together.

    Another reason is that, cooking at home can save money. When eating in restaurant is fast, the money you spend can add up. The same amount of money that you spend at a restaurant, can buy a lot of meat, fish and vegetable from a supermarket. Furthermore, you can save your money to buy clothes or other requirements.

    Since you don’t need to shop, cook, and clean up, it may seem more convenient to eat at restaurant. Though there are lots of healthy and simple meals that don’t take long to prepare. In addition, you don’t have to drive to the restaurant, look for a parking space, and wait for a table and service.

    In conclusion, eating out is faster, I find, however, that cooking at home is actually easier, cheaper, healthier, and can increase the relationship among family members.
    It's good
    I think since you had uploaded those essays which were accumulated for a while, you've not followed the tips mentioned time to time.
    concerning this situation, you can write well in the near future.
    best
    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  4. #2214

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط chemistrymaste نمایش پست ها
    سلامی دوباره، اینم یکی دیگه از رایتینگامه، از دوستان ممنونم.

    Why people go to museums?

    It is interesting to know that when travelling to new places they have never been before, many people choose to visit museums, and they often choose the local museums as a “must-see” place.

    Really, why people choose museums to visit? Based on my personal experiences and according to my observations, the main reason is, because museums tell tourists many things about the culture, past, and lifestyle of the native people of that place. Visiting museums helps us to understand history and know more about culture, art and craft of the people of the place we visit. Museums can take away barriers between tourists and the place they visit and help tourists to get familiar with the culture of the city. Museums help tourists to understand local arts and crafts. Furthermore, visiting museums is a very efficient way to understand a place’s past.

    There are many ways to know about the culture of the people, when we travel to a new place; you can go to the theatre, church or a nightclub. Another way is to sit at a park and watch the people around you. Among various options, visiting museums might be the most effective way. Museums show you the history and art that the local people think are important, some of the exhibits might be unique in the world.

    On the other hand, museums are part of the place’s landscape. Many museums have been designed and built according to historical and artistic characteristics of the places they are located in. As a result, people tend to choose museums as first destinations, to understand the culture of the place they visit.

    Moreover, museums give people entertainment. Even if you are not interested in art or history, there is always something to catch your interest in a museum!

    As final word, I think museums are an essential part of our life; they reflect our history, art, values, creativity, and our dreams. No matter who we are and what we like, somewhere there is a museum which will amaze and interest us. They act as a bridge between tourists and native people of a place. That is the reason why people are eager to visit museums when they travel to new places.
    good
    like the previous essay, follow the suggestions
    tips in pdf
    best
    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  5. #2215

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط chemistrymaste نمایش پست ها
    دوستان سلام، این دیگه رایتینگ آخرمه (رایتینگا رو هم تلنبار شده بود!)
    از زحمات عزیزان بی نهایت ممنونم. (به خصوص آقای سامان که دارن زحمت همه رایتینگارو میکشن، از شما ممنونیم دوست عزیز)

    What are the qualities of a good neighbor?

    When I remember my childhood, our neighbors are of first people come to my mind. Neighbors are people who share street and fence with us. For some people, neighbors may be annoyance and troublesome; for others neighbors are best friends that are sometimes closer than relatives; this group of people enjoy having good and close relationship with their neighbors.

    Of course, one’s opinion about neighbor and neighborhood depends on personality, culture, kind of home (house or apartment), and the situation of house (in country or city). But both points may come to an argument when determining “who is a good neighbor”?

    In the first place (which one is better? First of all? Or in the first place?) one of the important characteristics of a good neighbor is “being considerate”. He / she should avoid bothering us or taking us into trouble; he / she must avoid bothering his neighbors even with negligible issues like listening to music or talking so loud, shooting his ball into our property, and he / she must prevent his / her dog or cat enter you garden.

    In the second place, “being sympathetic” is another characteristics of a good neighbor. An example for being sympathetic is a situation where we have divorced recently and we are going through a hard time. Another example might be when we get through a crisis, like a death in the family; in both cases, a good neighbor volunteers to help us handle (do you have a better expression in mind?) the sadness and the depression.

    In my point of view, a good neighbor should be willing to help his / her neighbors, whenever they need help. In our daily life, emergency situations might happen; which faces us with difficulties or crisis and cannot be solved by ourselves. At this time, the most rapid help we can receive, could be from our neighbors. Since they can provide us immediate help, neighbors are as important as our relatives. They can feed our pet, cook for us, water plants, or check our mailbox in emergency cases.

    Moreover, a good neighbor, respects our property. This means he / she asks for our permission before doing something that may affect us. For instance, he / she doesn’t put up a fence or doesn’t plant a tree between his / her and our house without our permission.

    In conclusion, being considerate, sympathetic, helpful, and being respectful towards neighbors’ properties are number of characteristics of a “good neighbor”. It is said that one has the liberty to choose friends but one may not have the luck to choose his / her neighbors. Having good neighbor is blessing and one must value good neighbors, while trying to be a good neighbor towards them.
    good
    tips in pdf
    lack of expanding the idea
    good at writing coherently
    best
    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  6. #2216

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط ipot نمایش پست ها
    سلام دوستان
    آگه ممکنه essay من رو proofread کنید
    با تشکر


    Agree or disagree? People who go outside are more successful and happier than people who stay in villages.

    Having a better life has always been mankind's most important priority. The environment which we live, determines our satisfaction with our lives. Recently providing a better and prosperous life has hogged the limelight and become a source of contention between people. While a misbelief prevails among some people that living in simpler environment like villages, brings about happier life than living in cities. There are other people, including me, who believe wholeheartedly that living in big cities can bring about unique job opportunities with high income for people and can provide promising future for the people.

    Admittedly, bigger a city is, better the opportunities are. People who dwell in big cities have chances to encounter suitable jobs with high allowance. By earning more money people will be able to improve their lives and live in a satisfying condition. I remember my grandfather would tell us the story of his uprooting from his village and taking risk to make stride. Once he told me that if he was coward and did not leave his village, he would have worked in their field with his father and work for a pittance. But he said, nothing daunted, I have to do this. After 20 years of hard working, now he owns a prosperous company which has created jobs for 120 people. Thus, living in cities can bring about positive consequences for people.

    There is a saying that people with high income live it up and do not feel any pain in their lives. These people have chance to take advantage of their money and spend it to create a desirable living condition for themselves and their families. According to some statistics, people who earn a lot of money and are able to spend it in what activities they want, will not be susceptible to any depression and concomitant maladies. Based on the aforementioned statistics, since these people are happy with their lives and believe they have not spared their precious time in vain, so they become satisfied in their lives. Thereafter, living in big cities with much more opportunities and much more recreation activities can offer people a happy life.

    In a nutshell, coming across more job opportunities and having a good chance to make strides, besides having different and satisfying activities for spending time are my main argument. People who take stance against my argument, cling only to this flimsy argument that by living in villages you will have peaceful life and enjoy it. These people disregard the magnitude of monetary issue in our lives.
    well-done
    excellent
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    best
    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  7. #2217

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط mahnaz_elec نمایش پست ها
    سلام.
    از آقای سامان عزیز برای وقت و دانشی که در اختیارم گذاشتن واقعا ممنونم.
    یه رایتینگ دیگه نوشتم که ممنونم میشم اگه از دوستان کسی نگاش کنه و ایرادات کارم رو بگه. خیلی ممنون

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Among all the characters that a successful person has, communication skill is the most important.

    It is established beyond doubt that each individual human is involved with many different characteristics. Some of these characteristics such as communication skills, having a sense of humor and having a sense of philanthropy are common between majorities of humans. All these characteristics paly essential role in our lives. One of the most controversial questions which is often raised regarding this issue is to determine the most essential character that ends up to becoming a successful person. Although majority of people may argue that it is a general truth that the communication skills is the most crucial characteristic of a successful person, others maintain that there are other characteristics that outweigh communication skills in this regard. As a matter of fact, I agree with the former perspective and I will elucidate my point of view through the following paragraphs.
    The first reason that comes to mind at the first moment of thinking about this issue is related to the fact that each individual’s success is not apart from others people. It is an indisputable truth that as a sociable creature, we all need to communicate with each other. In addition, success feeling usually comes from the society’s point of view. To shed some light on this issue, consider an employee in a company. He might be known as a successful employee if the majority of people in that company regard him as a successful person. Considering this fact, in order to acquire other people’s positive perspective about yourself, you should be able to communicate with them clearly.
    The second reason which is worth mentioning is that communication is the most substantial means of expressing one’s feeling, thoughts, etc. Without communication you can not make others aware of your feeling nor can you get aware of their feelings. Without having a good communication skill it is very probable that serious misunderstandings happen among people which would end up to their anger, disappointment or any other bad feelings. As an example consider a misunderstanding happening between two people of two different cultures. For example in my country, when you want to drink water, you should ask any one near you if they want water or not and if you do not do so, you might seem to be somehow impolite. However, this attitude might seem odd for someone from a forging country, and if he could not communicate with people in my country, he might receive negative feedbacks when he drinks water, while he does not know the reason.
    To wrap it up, all the aforementioned arguments above lead us to the conclusion that as social creatures, our success in both personal and professional lives is convoluted with other people and in order to become happy, one needs to have a skillful communication characteristic. But that was just a story in a nutshell. Actually there are some other reasons and examples which were not mentioned above. All in all, I readily concur that “the communication skill is the most essential characteristics of each individual for being successful”
    Excellent.
    Well-expanded and well-organized idea.
    Intelligible and rational.

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    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  8. #2218

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط kn22 نمایش پست ها
    سلام
    این تسک دو تی پی او 14 هست... ممنون میشم راهنمایی کنین
    با تشکرات فراوان
    Traveling is an inevitable and primary need of people now. Living in the polluted cities, struggling with different challenges, feeling overwhelmed and anxious in a series of routine days can only heal by traveling. Now, the problem is that where to go? Should we visit foreign countries or just can benefit our country's spectacular views. Although many prefer to choose foreign countries, some prefer to stay in their country. In my point of view, traveling in our own country can have more benefits rather than going to foreign countries. There should be ample reasons which approve my opinion; two of those are: We can save more money by traveling in our own country than traveling to other countries, and we can benefit our country's economy.
    The main aspect to point out is that we can save more money. Being the same all the conditions, going to a foreign country less and more costs a lot. Because, not only we should pay for excessive payments, like visa, but also transportation costs can be higher. For example, one time I and one of my friends decided to take a trip. He resisted to visit France, but I could not afford it. Eventually, he went to France with one of his friends and I decided to go to one of our country's cities. After we came back, we calculated our trip's expenses. He spent five times more than me. Besides, I was on trip relatively 4 days more than him. It means killing two birds with one stone, instead of traveling to a foreign country, I can travel four more times and save more money. Is this not fabulous? So, by traveling this way we can spend less money, save more money, and travel more frequently.
    In addition, we benefit out country's economy. Tourism can play an essential role in a country's economy. Tourists spend a lot of money in their trips, so this money can improve the economy in different ways, such using to create jobs. For example, someone who wants to spend 2000 dollars on traveling, it is better to use it in his own country rather in a foreign country. This way his own country will improve and he benefits again of this. Therefore, by spending money in our country we can improve our country's economy.
    In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. First they can spend less money and save more. Second, they will help themselves indirectly, by improving their country's economy. At last, I suggest cancel your airplane Paris ticket and go to your country's nearest spectacular city.

    It’s good.
    You should make some complicated, reduced, long, diverse sentences, relevant and hard words
    as well.
    Expanding and organizing the idea make your essay reach the high quality.
    More tips in PDF
    Best

    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  9. #2219

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط mani_faz نمایش پست ها
    I’m really grateful for your comments, and your encouragements motivates me.
    I have one general question, I always use two verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc to emphasize my point and make it clearer. Do you think is it a good idea to continue doing that or it shows that my inability to pinpoint the one appropriate word?

    Integrated:
    Based on the content of the lecture, the arguments given for the non-adaptation of ecocertification by wood companies is not as trivial as the reading suggest. The professor gives lucid logical reasons that counteract and neutralize the factors described in the passage.


    Considering the overall distrust and doubt American citizens show toward advertisement in consumer products, it is not necessarily true that they treat every ad and labels on the products the same. In contrast, most of them, especially the more ecologically aware, more caring customers, significantly look different upon the frequent deceiving labels put up by the companies themselves, compared with those certified by a third, independent party that enjoys international reputation and credit. So in essence, they trust in the authenticity of these ecocertifications and thus will be inclined to purchase them.

    Regarding the natural disposition of American customers to buy cheaper products in all cases and circumstances, the claim seems to have ignored some exceptions. For instance, a recent study on how people's choices are affected by the price of items, is indicative of the fact that, when the price gap between two items in a category is negligible (within 5 percent), other factors beside the price also come into play and affect their decision, as is the case in wood products which differ only by a couple of bucks in price.


    The last argument points out to the alleged innecessity of wood companies of this ecocertification process because export does not constitute a large part of the income. This is not a reasonable explanation that would eradicate the adoption of this system, since if they do not accommodate the needs of local environment-friendly customers, foreign companies will jump and use this opportunity to take a significant part of the market and they will be at loss.
    .

    Extremely excellent.
    Very logical and
    indeed intelligible.
    Tips in PDF

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    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

  10. #2220

    پیش فرض پاسخ : نمونه های writing کاربران و بررسی آنها

    نقل قول نوشته اصلی توسط mani_faz نمایش پست ها
    I’m really grateful for your comments, and your encouragements motivates me.
    I have one general question, I always use two verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc to emphasize my point and make it clearer. Do you think is it a good idea to continue doing that or it shows that my inability to pinpoint the one appropriate word?

    Independent: It is more important for students to learn concept and ideas that it is for them to learn facts

    For centuries, human kind has been pondering over what contributes a prosperous and successful life and guarantees survival in this dynamic volatile world. One may even argue that establishing educational institutions was an attempt on our side, to provide a possible solution to this prominent mystery. But after a while, the question changed to, even if we surmise that education leads to a better life, what should be the focus of education, meticulously memorizing facts, or somehow instead extract the gist of scientific inquiry. In the rest of the essay, I argue that the latter is of more importance and I will add some details to clarify my point.


    We live in societies where automation and technological advancement has substituted most of the traditional mechanical arduous tasks, which constantly required human supervision and observation. For instance, the need for human workers in a tremendous number of factories has been elevated and most of the process is being controlled and run by smart machines and methods instead. Indeed not only we need less workers, we are also experiencing a downsize in the clerical staff too. This is the result of the evolutionary magic that Internet has brought about, we don't need a lot of salespersons because online shopping is really widespread and popular. So mechanical perfunctory jobs are not in demand any more, instead we need people who can think analytically and reform the process using innovative ideas. Consequently, learning the essence of science, not just rudimentary facts, and learning how to analyze and improve procedures, is of more value, and this is undoubtedly the result of learning the core of the materials.


    As I've mentioned before, having a more analytical mindset is the result of more emphasis on learning concepts and ideas. This enhanced ability of mind, is also useful in other realm of life. As a concrete example, in social interactions, individuals who analyze the situation without losing any details, can resolve challenges and problems more conveniently, because they don't fall into the trap of thinking into stereotype and presumed patterns.

    The last but not the least explanation I give, is that in real life the exact situations , as is described in the textbook is very unlikely to trigger. So if you have learned the principles instead of mere examples of that phenomenon, you can apply it in any circumstances and conditions and you are not bound to limited set of applications. Like how a doctor, is able to prognosis a disease based on the symptoms and also analyze the possible interactions it might have with other maladies that the patient may exhibit, instead of just having learned the specific symptoms of each disease.

    All in all, I believe critical thinking provides tremendous advantages to us, and we should move toward thinking more analytically about science and our studies.
    You can analyze the issue very well, but in independent section, a
    deficiency in the essay is conspicuous that you should eliminate this negative point
    Tips in PDF
    the more you make a wide range of structures, the better you score in Writing section
    To do so, you should read a lot of advanced texts such as some books in English literature, liberal arts, etc

    Best
    پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن ممنوع
    رسالت یک انجمن آگاهی بخشی و اطلاع رسانیست | پیام خصوصی قابل طرح در انجمن نافی این مهم است

موضوعات مشابه

  1. موضوعات Writing امتحانات اخیر PBT
    توسط m.hashemian در انجمن TOEFL PBT
    پاسخ: 60
    آخرين نوشته: July 6th, 2013, 02:17 AM

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